Guest guest Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Bobbi wrote: Q: How to balance between relief from > pain and being functional, i.e., work, reading, conversation, etc. Hi Bobby, I think you've mentioned one of the hardest things there is. The choice of meds and being able to deal with our pain And trying to be functional, sometimes(for me anyway) its a hard thing to do. Finding that balance is a real challenge. I'm a diabetic and my doc says that walking is very good for me(I know it is)so I walk out 15 minutes and walk back. By the time I get back I'm usually in agony. Fortunately I have very understanding wife and family (it's just us at home now)and they understand that some are just better than others. Chuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Susie-- Good luck with the surgery! And welcome! teresa in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some family members. I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than anything, for being out there. Thank you! I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. - Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 You'll find a world (literally!!) of support here. Tell your stories! This group has helped me again and again. I was 46 when I started to figure things out about my nada/fada. It's amazing to finally see that you were born into a bad situation...and not the CAUSE of all those bad situations. We can finally wash away all that shame & blame. I keep going through different phases as I heal. Right now I'm really concentrating on dreamwork. Last night I dreamed that my fada & my sister were dead & I didn't even care. I woke up feeling very drained & disturbed nonetheless. > > I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. > > My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. > > There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some family members. > > I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than anything, for being out there. Thank you! > > I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. > > - Jane > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Hey, Jane -- Welcome to our little lifeboat! You and I have been in this " game " for the same length of time -- I'm 45, too! Your therapist sounds very wise -- Glad you're here. -Kyla > > I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. > > My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. > > There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some family members. > > I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than anything, for being out there. Thank you! > > I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. > > - Jane > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 And, as someone said to me, just sorry you qualify. ; ) Khris > > > > I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship > struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the > past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, > my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) > my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. > > > > My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds > like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after > time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. > > > > There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the > mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some > family members. > > > > I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to > any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than > anything, for being out there. Thank you! > > > > I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. > I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will > definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for > myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. > > > > - Jane > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Hi , and welcome, I am really new to this group as well, and I LOVE IT! Just re-affirms to me that I am not crazy even though my mom tries to make it seem like it's me and not her. I don't know about the others, but I would love to hear some of your amazing stories about your mom. I bet I can beat them with my mom's behavior :-) hehehehehehehe. Give us the stories, this will be fun... Take care and welcome, I hope you find as much comfort out of this group as I have. Mia > > I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. > > My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. > > There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some family members. > > I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than anything, for being out there. Thank you! > > I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. > > - Jane > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Hi , Please always feel free to share on this board " when the spirit moves you " as they say. We all bring our own unique perspective and the responses you receive will each bring their own unique validation of your experience. Ok I have used the word unique quite enough. Anyway, if you change the angle of how you are looking at something you can get a whole new perspective on it. Like the blind men describing the elephant by what they felt, ya know? Don't deny yourself or the rest of us. We learn from each other here. We look forward to hearing your stories. Welcome to Oz (regrets that you qualify) Carla > > I am new to this group but 45 years in to my relationship struggles with my nada. Unbelievably, I only just realized in the past couple of years how ill she is. Mostly because of a) my denial, my and my husband's adoption of two children (long story), and c) my very good therapist, whom I've been seeing for 10 years now. > > My therapist said, some time last year, " Wow, it really sounds like your mother is consistently inappopriate, just time after time. " And it started a chain that brought me here. > > There was such a shock of recognition once I started receiving the mail from this group. I even forwarded the first digest to some family members. > > I can tell you some amazing stories (they would not be amazing to any of you, in truth), but I really want to thank you, more than anything, for being out there. Thank you! > > I can tell you up front that I'm developing my own language here. I love the phrase " dad in denial " (used here this week) and will definitely call my dad " dida " (d.i.d. always) from now on! As for myself, I fear I have long been " mida " -- me in denial, abbreviated. > > - Jane > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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