Guest guest Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 I've been NC for about three months after a rather typical nada episode. The difference this time was that it involved my children. I feel like I've told my story here ad nauseum, but to summarize, nada told my five year old daughter she looked hideous and all of my kids that they looked like orphans, I called her on it, and in return was accused of being immature, irrational, demeaning my mother, and that was before she and dad began to deny it ever happened, while at the same time asking if I really expected her to censor every word she said around my children, among other equally nonsensical things. Anyway, the anger part has largely subsided, which is a relief as that is a particularly destructive emotion. Over the past couple of weeks I've been reflecting on whether I should try to reconnect, and I'm finding that I really don't want to. And it's not so much a strong not wanting to, but more a feeling of absence of desire. I'm beginning to wonder if continuing the NC is the right thing to do. I don't want to reconnect. I really don't enjoy being in the same room with my mom. I felt uncomfortable with her before this episode, I can't imagine what it would be like now. My dad can be pretty enjoyable, but he is always in her court, and this most recent episode is no exception. One of my kids asked about them once, so I really don't think they miss them too badly. I guess I'm just wondering, am I being evil for keeping my kids away from their grandparents, or keeping my parents away from their grandchildren? I don't want my kids to end up being pawns in this ugliness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 Hmmmm, are you being evil by keeping your kids away from a person who doesn't think she should censor herself in front of them. This is also a person who will deny what she did - thereby setting her own grandchildren up to be thought of as liars. Gee, were you wondering if you were the evil one - or were you wondering if it was your nada who was the evil one? No, you are NOT evil - you are a good mother who is PROTECTING her children from the evil one! And I totally understand how you feel about not having any desire to reconnect. Once I got unenmeshed, that is exactly how I felt. As far as keeping your parents away from their grandchildren - they have demonstrated that they don't deserve that PRIVILEDGE. You can only allow your children to be with people who will respect you, and show kindness and caring to your children. Insulting grandchildren is neither kind nor caring. Your still in some FOG - get out into the sunlight and fresh air away from these toxic people. Sylvia > > I've been NC for about three months after a rather typical nada > episode. The difference this time was that it involved my > children. I feel like I've told my story here ad nauseum, but to > summarize, nada told my five year old daughter she looked hideous > and all of my kids that they looked like orphans, I called her on > it, and in return was accused of being immature, irrational, > demeaning my mother, and that was before she and dad began to deny > it ever happened, while at the same time asking if I really expected > her to censor every word she said around my children, among other > equally nonsensical things. Anyway, the anger part has largely > subsided, which is a relief as that is a particularly destructive > emotion. Over the past couple of weeks I've been reflecting on > whether I should try to reconnect, and I'm finding that I really > don't want to. And it's not so much a strong not wanting to, but > more a feeling of absence of desire. I'm beginning to wonder if > continuing the NC is the right thing to do. I don't want to > reconnect. I really don't enjoy being in the same room with my > mom. I felt uncomfortable with her before this episode, I can't > imagine what it would be like now. My dad can be pretty enjoyable, > but he is always in her court, and this most recent episode is no > exception. One of my kids asked about them once, so I really don't > think they miss them too badly. I guess I'm just wondering, am I > being evil for keeping my kids away from their grandparents, or > keeping my parents away from their grandchildren? I don't want my > kids to end up being pawns in this ugliness. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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