a long whine

[Guest guest]

When I was 11, my brother raped me. My stepdad beat me and terrorized

me for years. I have been raped 3 other times, by three different

men. I have been homeless. I have sold my body for money. I separated

from my 'family' for 8 years, because they were the cause of so much

of my misery, and I couldn't take my needs being ignored. Long story

short, 7 years ago, my nada found me and called me. I tried for the

last 7 years to be in her and my brother's lives, but as before, they

used me and ignored me. I finally separated again for the final time

back in November. I feel so bad. I am so mad and sad that I sometimes

just want to give up. I tried to get in touch with my real dad a few

years ago, hoping he might be different. He wasn't. I have no one but

my husband in my life. He is supportive to a point, but he really

just doesn't get it. I have tried so many different antidepressants,

without much luck. I am just so incredulous that these folks who are

supposed to love and protect me, just really don't care about me. I

have been their little whipping dog for years, and when I'd finally

had enough, I left for good. Now I can't seem to quit feeling sorry

for myself, that I will never have any family that loves me. I am so

wounded. If I had known life was going to be this painful, I would

have ended it years ago. How do I keep fighting? I am so tired.

Thanks for reading this, God bless.

[Guest guest]

pardon my french, but HOLY SHIT!!! DO YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE

WHINING?!?! whining to me is like, " woe is me...i am whining. whine

whine whine. " what you are doing is not whining. what happened to

you was INCREDIBLY BAD, and it's horrible that you feel worse just

because you want to be heard. serious abuse.

sorry, i clearly just flipped out reading your post. your family

completely failed you on pretty much every level. hopefully you are

in therapy. how can your husband not GET this?!?!

GAH SO ANGRY!!!

bink

>

> When I was 11, my brother raped me. My stepdad beat me and terrorized

> me for years. I have been raped 3 other times, by three different

> men. I have been homeless. I have sold my body for money. I separated

> from my 'family' for 8 years, because they were the cause of so much

> of my misery, and I couldn't take my needs being ignored. Long story

> short, 7 years ago, my nada found me and called me. I tried for the

> last 7 years to be in her and my brother's lives, but as before, they

> used me and ignored me. I finally separated again for the final time

> back in November. I feel so bad. I am so mad and sad that I sometimes

> just want to give up. I tried to get in touch with my real dad a few

> years ago, hoping he might be different. He wasn't. I have no one but

> my husband in my life. He is supportive to a point, but he really

> just doesn't get it. I have tried so many different antidepressants,

> without much luck. I am just so incredulous that these folks who are

> supposed to love and protect me, just really don't care about me. I

> have been their little whipping dog for years, and when I'd finally

> had enough, I left for good. Now I can't seem to quit feeling sorry

> for myself, that I will never have any family that loves me. I am so

> wounded. If I had known life was going to be this painful, I would

> have ended it years ago. How do I keep fighting? I am so tired.

> Thanks for reading this, God bless.

>

[Guest guest]

My hubby says, 'well sometimes you act so normal, so I forget what

happened.'

I guess that means I have to walk around bleeding out every orifice to

get some empathy! It means I kinda get ignored when I have a good day.

Sigh............

Thanks for your answer. It made me feel better.