Re: lonlely

[Guest guest]

Lonley,

Thanks for giving me the courage to say how lonely I am. I've been

a member of this group for a long time. The same goes for me as far

as family blaming any problem I have on " pain pills " I'm too old to

date. I'm 72. I have a few female friends at church. Very few. I

have bad back problems and other autoimmune problems that made it

very difficult to walk, any distance, that is.I ride in the electric

carts at walmart. I hate it but I have to.

I really feel for the younger folks that are missing what should be

the best part of their life. I'll pray for you.

Sincerely

jobob

I too choose not to date. I know it is probably not the best but

I cannot really go anywhere without doubleing up on my pain meds.

>

[Guest guest]

--- " tallpaul610 " wrote:

>

> I have not dated and feel that it would be unfair to date anyone I

> didn't know prior to the accident. Is this rediculous?

Hello -

Welcome to the list, although I'm sorry for the pain that brought you

here.

Why would you feel it was unfair to date someone who did not know you

BP (Before Pain?) If you're like me, you're a very different person -

and maybe even a better, more tolerant, more compassionate person! -

since having to deal with chronic pain. So why not let someone get

to know the better " new you, " instead of only spending time with

people who are stuck with their expectations of what you were like

before you were injured? That seems much more unfair, especially to

you!

To give you some hope, I have a very good friend who is married to a

man who suffered polio as a child, and suffered even more from post-

polio syndrome that hit in his 40s, confining him to a wheelchair and

degrading his health horribly. She met and married him AFTER the

post-polio syndrome hit, so she's never even known him when he could

get around on crutches and was relatively healthy. Does she wish

she'd known him when he was younger and stronger? No. It just

doesn't matter to her. He's who she loves and she deals with his

health as it comes.

There are people out there who can look past the disabilities and see

the person, not what that person can do or not do. So give yourself

and that potential person out there the gift of getting to know the

wonderful you as you are now - and of course, keep working on always

making yourself the best possible person you can be despite your

pain!

My mantra is, " Pain may be inevitable, but suffering is optional. "

Cheryl in AZ

Moderator