Re: I believe the key is to let yourself experience the feelings you're scared of

[Guest guest]

Thank you for that post

Well said, and something for us all to chew on

>

> I like this ...

>

> Reminds me of something we tucked into our book " Your Life on Purpose " - " What

you don't know you will fear, and what you fear will control you. "

>

> Underneath most difficult emotions is a fear of something - something we'd

rather not experience AND need to get in touch with.

>

> You can do that by looking in - getting curious about your mind and body, and

how it operates. Get to know what the fear is?

>

> You can do that by willingly bringing on the sensations you tend to resist -

exercise, breathing, walking, spinning ... Noticing thoughts as thoughts,

sensations as sensations, feelings as feelings ... AND urges to act or react (a

biggie) ... breathing into each ... Is there anything going on in your mind and

body that you absolutely cannot have? Is there anything going in in your mind

and body that is absolutely your enemy? Do only what you are willing to do and

see what your experience tells you ... even small steps matter.

>

> You can do that by noticing the natural rhythm and flow of your thoughts and

feelings ... if you watch, they tend to come and go like waves on the ocean. If

you fuse and struggle, they tend to stick around and may even appear to grow ...

>

> And let me say that I'm no great master at doing this 24/7 ... I get hooked

and snared just like everyone else ... What I have learned to do is be kinder

with myself when that happens ... For me, the skill here is to notice the times

we get hooked and then be able to release and come back to the present ...

release and come back ... release and come back ... release and come back in the

service of something more important than the fear.

>

> Peace -j

>

>

>

>

> P. Forsyth, Ph.D.

>

> Professor of Psychology

> Director, Anxiety Disorders Research Program

> University at Albany, SUNY

> Department of Psychology

> Social Sciences 399

> 1400 Washington Avenue

> Albany, NY 12222

> Ph:

> Fax:

> email: forsyth@...

>

> Lab Web Page:

> Anxiety Disorders Research Program<http://www.albany.edu/~forsyth>

>

> Blogs:

> Mindfulness & Acceptance for

Anxiety<http://mindfulness-and-anxiety.blogspot.com/>

>

> Peace of

Mind<http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/peace-mind/200910/cultivating-peace-min\

d-0> at Psychology Today<http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog>

>

> Dr.

Forsyth<http://www.amazon.com/-P.-Forsyth/e/B001JS0IEK/ref=sr_tc_2_0>'s

Books on Amazon.com

>

> Our Clinical Trials Evaluating ACT for Anxiety:

> Visit ACTforAnxiety.com<http://www.actforanxiety.com/>

>

> From: ACT_for_the_Public

[mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of vcferrara

> Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 10:51 PM

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Subject: I believe the key is to let yourself experience

the feelings you're scared of

>

>

>

> We can diffuse thoughts all day and night, but if we keep it up on the mind

level, and are never willing to experience the feelings that these thoughts are

there to protect us from experiencing (because you believe you can't handle

them), then you are going to be living with this mental suffering forever...it's

always going to be looming in the background, big or small

>

> But when you allow yourself to feel them and see what they are, there is no

need to fear them anymore..

>

> Probably a " duh " to some, as " willingness " is a big part of ACT, but I have

spent a good 10+ years trying to resist my feelings in some way though thinking

and being mindful..

>

> Had a very intense and amazing experience with my therapist

yesterday...brought laser like focused awareness into the feelings of Fight or

Flight...which brought the literal feeling in my hands of wanting to fight, and

in my feat of wanting to run...I stayed with it for a bit, then underneath it

came out a huge cry of release of the core of where it all started for me.... " I

couldn't control that my father died " , which shook my core at the time

>

> It was quite amazing to say the least, and what I learned from it other than

the above was:

>

> Part of the mind's job is to protect you from experiencing what you believe

(erroneously) you can't handle, but emotions and feelings are here to teach us

something...what we generally deem to be " negative " emotions are our greatest

teachers...they secondarily teach us things like love, compassion, empathy, and

kindness, but at their core, are here to teach us that we can't control life,

nor do we need to...life is perfect as is...it's your story of it, that

isn't...therefore there is no need to fear these feelings, as they are

ultimately here to bring us back to our true selves...

>

> When you let go of trying to control = flow

>

> Trying to control life with our superimposed view of what it should or

shouldn't be like = suffering

>

> Of course, tomorrow I could be singing a different tune

>

> * when I say " erroneous " , it's because there is not one situation looking back

in our lives, that any of us can say with any honesty that one couldn't handle,

other than thinking it...

>