Re: Defusion Questions for a Beginner

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I've just thought of an exercise related to Open Focus which may (or may not)

help with experiencing the observing self. It goes something like this:

Find somewhere where you won't be disturbed. Anywhere will do, whether it's

inside or outside, noisy or quiet.

Take a couple of deep breaths to relax and bring yourself into the present

moment.

Look at the objects around you. If you are inside, it would be things like

tables, chairs, the walls and so on. If you are outside (like I am right now),

it would be buildings, traffic, people passing by, etc.

Now look at the spaces between those objects. Notice the shape of those spaces.

If the objects in those spaces are moving, notice how they change shape with

their movement.

After a while, notice how all the spaces between all the objects are part of one

big and ever-changing space, the space that contains everything you see.

When you are ready, see if you can ease back and sense your inner space, the

part you that contains everything you see and the physical space between them.

This inner space is like the physical space that contains everything in the

universe. It is has no shape or form or features, it has no boundaries or

qualities that you can put into words, and yet it contains every bit of what you

experience every moment of your life. Everything you see and hear and touch and

taste and smell and think and feel is contained in it.

I realise that this exercise is only a rough idea and may not even be original.

If any of you think it's worth developing into a fully-fledged step-by-step

procedure, please let me know.

The observing self rocks!

Cheers,

Stan

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> > > You are on the right track Phil. Try to spend time just noticing your

thoughts and noticing that you are noticing them. This will develop your ability

to see your thoughts in real time and begin to defuse in real time. See chapter

23 in The Happiness Trap.

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> > > Bill

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[Guest guest]

thankyou for the email stan.

i am currenetly working on the happiness trap and did a bit of get out of ur

mind book...once i finish em both i will get the les fehmi one...to tell ya the

truth stan, i have never been a reader, and i am really struglling with doing so

much reading...the happiness trap i love so far, coz it is very easy to

comprehend..thats another issue for me..i have a tough time understanding if it

is not written in very simply language and sorta in a sotrybook form like the

happiness trap...otherwise i just get lost in the vocabulalry...i wish there was

more stuff in any sorta ac/dvd/audio form..

but thanks again

wasalaam

>

> ,

> Bill (in Message #15641) has just mentioned a book by Les Fehmi called Open

Focus Brain you might find useful.

>

> It's been a couple of years since I read it, but from what I recall, the

exercises in the book and on the accompanying CD are a good way to experience

the observing self.

>

> Cheers,

> Stan

>

[Guest guest]

thanks bill...i have the book and have been working on it so i will read chapter

7 . ur right it is imp. to know all of the fundamentals. Everything i know is

from the intensive therapy i went through, so not really from books, but some

words when i hear them here, they sound familiar and perhaps i know very briefly

about their meaning, but not in detail. but thank you again for ur reply:-)

wasalaam

>

>

> Yes . Chapter 7 of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life explains self

as context. It's important that you understand the six core processes and use

them to get the most out of ACT. To the extent that learning ACT is like

learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument, just focusing on

one or two ACT core processes is like just learning to speak a few words or play

just a few notes. ACT is about living a valued life, not just defusing from

unuseful thoughts or accepting feelings and emotions.

> Bill

[Guest guest]

woow ...thanks for writing this. this was an excellent reminder of everything i

went through in my therapy. I good overview.

though bill i was totally lost when going through the hexaflex. perhaps coz i

can only understand things when it is written or explained in the simplesst

form.

but thanks for this email. it was very well written and explains ACT really

well:-)

wasalaam

>

>

> Hi Phil - NO, I don't think you are dumb.

> The purpose of defusion is to help you LET GO of unhelpful thoughts and keep

moving towards a valued life. It sounds like you are struggling with the

thoughts instead of letting them go. Here are a few comments on things you've

said in your email:

> " negative or useless thoughts. " - a negative thought might be a useful

thought. The definition of a useful/helpful thought is a thought that helps you

live a valued life. " writing down the fused thought and then rewriting the

defused thought " - defusion is not about changing the thought itself. It is

about changing the way you think about the thought. A defused thought is a

thought that you have LET GO of. A fused thought is one that you are struggling

with. In the process of " rewriting the defused thought " you may be prolonging

the struggle with it. Let the thought go as if it is a leaf on a stream; a cloud

passing by, etc.

> " Then I read and the defused thought and try to make it a replacement. " see

how this might be struggling with the thought? You can change how you think

about the thought but you probably can't change the thought itself.

> " do this exercise over and over but I am hoping there is something you experts

can explain to me that will make my time more useful. " To make your time more

useful, keep taking committed action towards a valued life rather than doing

defusion exercises over and over.

> DEFUSION is not about getting rid of unhelpful thoughts. I defuse from several

of the same thoughts many times a day by simply noticing them and keeping moving

towards my values. Some days it is exhausting, but it's better than the

alternative of getting stuck thinking about the thought. The defusion exercise

that works for me is to simply to say " Thank you mind " out loud if possible. I

have to actually thank my mind as opposed to thinking about thanking my mind. Do

you see the difference?

> I suggest you also use ACCEPTANCE with your thoughts. What you are struggling

with and what you need to accept is - your mind is very active and loves to

generate thoughts. You don't like that so you struggle with it. Try chuckling to

yourself when you notice that your mind is really cranking out the thoughts. Or

take some time to just sit and curiously watch your mind generate the thoughts.

Put each thought on an imaginary leaf floating down an imaginary stream. When

you find yourself floating down the stream on a leaf with a thought, simply

smile to yourself and get back to watching the other thoughts go down the

stream. This is a combination of defusion and being in contact with the present.

> What did you think of the values and committed action sections of the book? Do

you have a pretty clear picture of where you want your life to go? How do you

spend your time each day - pursuing your values or struggling with your thoughts

and emotions?

> ACT is not designed to make your thoughts/anxiety/depression/etc go away. It

is designed to help you live a valued life in spite of these things by helping

you stop struggling with them. Most of the time my emotional discomfort is

mostly due to the struggle with my anxiety, rather than the anxiety itself. ACT

has taught me how to stop the struggle (for the most part on most days). It was

hard work at first and is still hard on some days but my life is much richer

even if I'm feeling like crap.

> ACT is not a brute force tool like a sledge hammer or a chain saw. Rather it

is a set of small tools used consistently.

> I suggest you go to the home page for this list serv

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/ and click on

ATTACHMENTS under MESSAGES in a box in the upper left hand corner of the page.

Go to the message dated April 2, 2011. There you will find the ACT hexaflex and

two other files you might find interesting - " Create Your Own ACT Toolkit " and

" Trainng Phase III " (discusses psychological flexing - a method to help you

integrate ACT into your real-time everyday life).

> Bill

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for your feedback.

In my opinion, the secret of truly understanding ACT is in the doing, not the

thinking. It's all too easy to fall into the trap of trying to understand the

concepts of acceptance and willingness and values and commitment. Our mind loves

trying to solve life's problems, and it will use anything it can get hold of to

do it, including books about ACT.

My suggestion is that you put the theory to one side and do the exercises and

see what happens. That way you will get the most valuable understanding of all:

direct experience.

Books about ACT are like signposts pointing the way to where you want to go. You

can study them all you want, but only leaving the sign behind and walking toward

where they point will get you closer to where you want to go.

Cheers and lots of love,

Stan

> >

> > ,

> > Bill (in Message #15641) has just mentioned a book by Les Fehmi called Open

Focus Brain you might find useful.

> >

> > It's been a couple of years since I read it, but from what I recall, the

exercises in the book and on the accompanying CD are a good way to experience

the observing self.

> >

> > Cheers,

> > Stan

> >

>

[Guest guest]

yes stan i totally agree...hence all that i have learnt about ACT is infact in

an intensive anxiety program using ACT...and thats where we did all kinds of

exercises. everyhting made sense to me there and seems so simply and grasped it

all

now when i sit and read the books sometimes i jsut get lost in the volabulary...

but thank you i understand what u mean

wasalaam