Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi, Sounds like you're putting a good deal of effort into the work, which is great, but also look at your expectations: What are you aiming for? Anything feeling light or freeing for you so far with what you've done? And also, what specifically about the work is it that makes you say it's " challenging " for you?. Don't have that book in front of me, so maybe others here can help with the purpose of that specific exercise, with what is meant by moving onto expansion from defusion. Would love to hear from others about this. More broadly, if an exercise isn't working, I'd say look at the purpose and then if you have a sense of that, by all means feel free to play with it, tweak it to accommodate your proclivities ...or if you're really stuck, just move on to another exercise. Best, T ``````````````````````````````````````````````````` > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > making any sense? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi, Sounds like you're putting a good deal of effort into the work, which is great, but also look at your expectations: What are you aiming for? Anything feeling light or freeing for you so far with what you've done? And also, what specifically about the work is it that makes you say it's " challenging " for you?. Don't have that book in front of me, so maybe others here can help with the purpose of that specific exercise, with what is meant by moving onto expansion from defusion. Would love to hear from others about this. More broadly, if an exercise isn't working, I'd say look at the purpose and then if you have a sense of that, by all means feel free to play with it, tweak it to accommodate your proclivities ...or if you're really stuck, just move on to another exercise. Best, T ``````````````````````````````````````````````````` > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > making any sense? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi Esther - ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.Bill> To: act_for_the_public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> Subject: Expansion using words> > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> making any sense?> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi Esther - ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.Bill> To: act_for_the_public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> Subject: Expansion using words> > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> making any sense?> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 I guess I phrased that badly - more like changing my habits when I encounter a stressful situation. I did see the animation, which was helpful and I think I understand the concept, just struggling with how to put it into practice. I was using the audio track on Dr. 's CD and I found that very heavy on imagery - visualizing the sensations and breathing around them to make space for them. Somehow it just isn't working for me. Thanks to both of you for the help, I'm grateful I found this community. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Esther - > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that. > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me. > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it. > Bill > >> To: act_for_the_public >> From: esterellah@... >> Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400 >> Subject: Expansion using words >> >> I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely >> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it >> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion >> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio >> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but >> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an >> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the >> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. >> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I >> making any sense? >> >> >> ------------------------------------ >> >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org >> >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may >> unsubscribe by sending an email to >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links >> >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 I guess I phrased that badly - more like changing my habits when I encounter a stressful situation. I did see the animation, which was helpful and I think I understand the concept, just struggling with how to put it into practice. I was using the audio track on Dr. 's CD and I found that very heavy on imagery - visualizing the sensations and breathing around them to make space for them. Somehow it just isn't working for me. Thanks to both of you for the help, I'm grateful I found this community. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Esther - > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that. > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me. > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it. > Bill > >> To: act_for_the_public >> From: esterellah@... >> Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400 >> Subject: Expansion using words >> >> I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely >> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it >> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion >> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio >> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but >> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an >> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the >> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. >> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I >> making any sense? >> >> >> ------------------------------------ >> >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org >> >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may >> unsubscribe by sending an email to >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links >> >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi Esther,Yes you are making sense:) My suggestion would be to try using descriptive words as though you are a scientist describing the qualities of the sensation - start simply - large or small, warm or cold, perhaps rate intensity etc. Sounds like you are doing really well and discovering things about your unique experience.Hope this helpsRobyn. From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of Esther LSent: Friday, 8 July 2011 5:58 AMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Expansion using words I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitelyfinding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking itslowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusionand moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audiotracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise butam feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as animage, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate theexercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am Imaking any sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hi Esther,Yes you are making sense:) My suggestion would be to try using descriptive words as though you are a scientist describing the qualities of the sensation - start simply - large or small, warm or cold, perhaps rate intensity etc. Sounds like you are doing really well and discovering things about your unique experience.Hope this helpsRobyn. From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of Esther LSent: Friday, 8 July 2011 5:58 AMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Expansion using words I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitelyfinding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking itslowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusionand moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audiotracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise butam feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as animage, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate theexercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am Imaking any sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hey, so there is an animation of the metaphor? If someone has the link please share it, I would like to see it as well.Thanks!MerlinPowered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®Sender: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:58:14 -0600To: ACT_for_the_Public<act_for_the_public >ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: RE: Expansion using words Hi Esther - ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.Bill> To: act_for_the_public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> Subject: Expansion using words> > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> making any sense?> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hey, so there is an animation of the metaphor? If someone has the link please share it, I would like to see it as well.Thanks!MerlinPowered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®Sender: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:58:14 -0600To: ACT_for_the_Public<act_for_the_public >ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: RE: Expansion using words Hi Esther - ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.Bill> To: act_for_the_public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> Subject: Expansion using words> > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> making any sense?> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Think of some things you have accepted, big or small, and look at what that looks like. Most likely you just got tired of struggling with them and you decided to just "dance" as recently put it. Acceptance looks like you living a valued life ("dancing like you mean it") nothing more and nothing less. I find it very easy to overthink acceptance. Bill> To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 19:37:16 -0400> Subject: Re: Expansion using words> > I guess I phrased that badly - more like changing my habits when I> encounter a stressful situation. I did see the animation, which was> helpful and I think I understand the concept, just struggling with how> to put it into practice. I was using the audio track on Dr. 's> CD and I found that very heavy on imagery - visualizing the sensations> and breathing around them to make space for them. Somehow it just> isn't working for me.> > Thanks to both of you for the help, I'm grateful I found this community. > > > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Hi Esther -> > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.> > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.> > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.> > Bill> >> >> To: act_for_the_public > >> >> Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> >> Subject: Expansion using words> >>> >> I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> >> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> >> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> >> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> >> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> >> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> >> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> >> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> >> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> >> making any sense?> >>> >>> >> ------------------------------------> >>> >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> >>> >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may> >> unsubscribe by sending an email to> >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> >>> >>> >>> > > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > > >> >> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Think of some things you have accepted, big or small, and look at what that looks like. Most likely you just got tired of struggling with them and you decided to just "dance" as recently put it. Acceptance looks like you living a valued life ("dancing like you mean it") nothing more and nothing less. I find it very easy to overthink acceptance. Bill> To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 19:37:16 -0400> Subject: Re: Expansion using words> > I guess I phrased that badly - more like changing my habits when I> encounter a stressful situation. I did see the animation, which was> helpful and I think I understand the concept, just struggling with how> to put it into practice. I was using the audio track on Dr. 's> CD and I found that very heavy on imagery - visualizing the sensations> and breathing around them to make space for them. Somehow it just> isn't working for me.> > Thanks to both of you for the help, I'm grateful I found this community. > > > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Hi Esther -> > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that.> > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me.> > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it.> > Bill> >> >> To: act_for_the_public > >> >> Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400> >> Subject: Expansion using words> >>> >> I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely> >> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it> >> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion> >> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio> >> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but> >> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an> >> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the> >> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.> >> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I> >> making any sense?> >>> >>> >> ------------------------------------> >>> >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> >>> >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may> >> unsubscribe by sending an email to> >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> >>> >>> >>> > > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > > >> >> > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Thanks for the clarification Bill! Do you not find it ironic that acceptance often brings with it a good deal of change including change in thought patterns?! Yes, ACT is not about struggling directly with the thoughts, rather about changing our relationship with unwanted thoughts, sensations, memories, feelings. Funny, the metaphor of the un-invited guest (along with passengers on the bus) feel a lot to me like what acceptance feels like, and really like what all of ACT processes coming together feel like. Am discovering a sense of " letting go " happens as I practice the work, the six core processes. Or it doesn't...and if that's so, helps to then just make room for noticing " holding on " and go from there. Best, T > > > Hi Esther - > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that. > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me. > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it. > Bill > > > To: act_for_the_public > > From: esterellah@... > > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400 > > Subject: Expansion using words > > > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > > making any sense? > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > > > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org > > > > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > > unsubscribe by sending an email to > > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Thanks for the clarification Bill! Do you not find it ironic that acceptance often brings with it a good deal of change including change in thought patterns?! Yes, ACT is not about struggling directly with the thoughts, rather about changing our relationship with unwanted thoughts, sensations, memories, feelings. Funny, the metaphor of the un-invited guest (along with passengers on the bus) feel a lot to me like what acceptance feels like, and really like what all of ACT processes coming together feel like. Am discovering a sense of " letting go " happens as I practice the work, the six core processes. Or it doesn't...and if that's so, helps to then just make room for noticing " holding on " and go from there. Best, T > > > Hi Esther - > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that. > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me. > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it. > Bill > > > To: act_for_the_public > > From: esterellah@... > > Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400 > > Subject: Expansion using words > > > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > > making any sense? > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > > > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org > > > > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > > unsubscribe by sending an email to > > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 Hi EstherI've had the same difficulties as you, and actually have never mastered, or even improved, expansion skills. It just never worked for me. I'm not saying that it doesn't work for other people, but I stopped trying because it opened up a new struggle all on its own ("why isn't it workign, what am I doing wrong, but they told me it WOULD work..." etc)I headed towards acceptance the harder way: doing the things I value, but still struggling with my emotions along the journey. Indirectly, over time, I've found that my struggle with emotions is lessening even without expansion. It would be nifty if expansion helped, but if you keep proving to yourself that your emotions can't stop you doing all the things that are important in your life, acceptance will come closer. xSubject: Expansion using wordsTo: "ACT_for_the_Public " <act_for_the_public >Date: Thursday, 7 July, 2011, 19:57I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitelyfinding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking itslowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusionand moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audiotracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise butam feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as animage, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate theexercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am Imaking any sense?------------------------------------For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.orgIf you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may unsubscribe by sending an email to ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links<*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/<*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional<*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join (Yahoo! ID required)<*> To change settings via email: ACT_for_the_Public-digest ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2011 Report Share Posted July 9, 2011 Thanks again to Esther for bringing this up and for all the clarifications. Many ways to tap into acceptance and all the processes. I actually like what I'm hearing here about the expansion visualization exercises and look forward to trying them on! Sensing it's very much like extending the offer to dance. Like saying " yes " more and more of the time in way I can feel it in my body, my breath, my awareness. Like dropping the rope more and more. Very nice. terry > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Esther - > > > ACT is designed to help you accept, rather than try to change your thought patterns (struggle with them). Be sure to read chapter 13 of The Happiness Trap. It will help you understand why you think the way you do and why you probably can't change that. > > > Defusion and expansion are the two core processes of the LETTING GO leg of the ACT three-legged stool. I find defusion is easier because it is a pro-active process that uses exercises to help me let go - silly songs, milk, milk, milk, etc. Expansion is a less active process. For me it consists of two things. 1. Notice my anxiety with curiosity rather than fear and dread. Don't dwell on it but don't ignore it. Just notice it. I like to imagine myself taking a step back from myself and looking at what's happening objectively - disengage a bit. 2. Get moving towards my values, taking my anxiety along with me. > > > My favorite metaphor for expansion is the uninvited guest story. You've planned a party (your life) and a person (anxiety, etc) who you especially don't want at your party shows up and is not going away. You have a choice - try to get rid of the person (struggle) or simply acknowledge their presence and keep on enjoying the party (live a valued life). There's an excellent animation of this metaphor somewhere on the internet. Perhaps someone can refer you to it. > > > Bill > > > > > >> To: act_for_the_public > > >> From: esterellah@... > > >> Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 15:57:38 -0400 > > >> Subject: Expansion using words > > >> > > >> I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > > >> finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > > >> slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > > >> and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > > >> tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > > >> am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > > >> image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > > >> exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > > >> Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > > >> making any sense? > > >> > > >> > > >> ------------------------------------ > > >> > > >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org > > >> > > >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > > >> unsubscribe by sending an email to > > >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > > > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org > > > > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > > unsubscribe by sending an email to > > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't have much to add to the wise replies from others, but I do have a thought or two. ACT isn't about trying to change your thoughts, it's about learning to accept and make room for them while doing the things you want to do and that gives your life meaning. Trying to change the thoughts you don't want into ones you do runs the risk of getting tangled up with them and making them worse and more painful. Russ 's friendly scientist metaphor is a good one and, taken the right way, a very powerful one. A good scientist will form a hypothesis about what's happening in some part of the real world, and then conduct a series of experiments to prove or disprove her hypothesis. The heart of her approach is objectivity. She will stand back and notice what actually happens during her experiments and accept the evidence, whether it confirms her hypothesis or blows it to atoms. It's her ability to remain detached and accept what happens, whether it proves her beliefs or not, that makes her a good scientist. It's this ability to stand back and watch the workings of our mind and body from moment to moment objectively that makes ACT so powerful. I've had a few difficulties with a couple of meditations on Russ 's CD as well. I've never found his 'leaves on a stream' meditation very helpful. Like I suspect you do, I have difficulty creating mental images of leaves floating down a stream and painting my thoughts onto them. Maybe it's the way my brain's wired, but it doesn't work for me. It takes me time to think a thought and paint it onto a leaf, and by the time I do, I'm thinking something else and the moment's passed. The thought I want to paint is already history before I can do it. In short, it's not fast enough. The best, simplest, and fastest approach for me, which you'll read about later in Russ 's book and listen to on his CDs, is the Observing Self. This is the part of you that, strange though it sounds until you experience it directly, is aware of your awareness. A common analogy is that your observing self is like the clear blue sky, and all your thoughts and feelings are the clouds that pass through it. When you're happy and everything's fine, the sky is clear and lovely. But when you're unhappy and troubled, there are clouds everywhere and you can't see the sky no matter how hard you try. If anything, your efforts at trying to see the sky makes the clouds grow darker and more threatening. The sky always remains untroubled though, because it knows the clouds can't hurt or affect it in any way. By its very nature, the sky that is your awareness expands to make room for them and doesn't care about them. It's happy to watch them come and go in their own time and in their own way. Put crudely, it doesn't give a shit. On a practical level, the first thing I do when I feel anxious is to watch my chest as it rises and falls with my breathing. This simple act brings me into the present moment and begins the process of defusing from my thoughts and feelings. Then I take a step back and become the sky, and notice the clouds that are my thoughts and feelings arise, sail past, and go. I don't always succeed in contacting the sky of my awareness, I fail a lot of the time, and I end up doing a lot of things I'd rather not do. Drinking and smoking and gambling, for example. I have a lot of difficulties with my addictions but, thanks to ACT, I no longer beat myself up over them. Given enough time and work, I know I'll be able to let them go and live a better and more valued life. All the best on your journey, Stan > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > making any sense? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 As a person who has prone to an addiction, I would recommend you Stan the book "Mindful recovery", its not so much ACT as mindfulness, but I found it very helpful. In the last year I have only once fell in addiction, and I also seem to have lost the appetite for it.As for Expansion using words... I do remember Russ talking about how a client would use words to help her to expand/accept/be willing. I couldn't find it in the book (if anyone knows where please say). Because expansion/acceptance is not a thing of the mind, you cannot teach it to be accepting with words, but you can prompt acceptance with some meaningful words. Personally I look for tension in my body, face, I look if I am holding tightly to myself. In moments of high anxiety, when I don't accept, I notice I look around quickly for distraction, I look down, and I mentally go over and how I can escape. When I accept/expand, I remind myself "Sit up straighter" "Loosen the tight hold of yourself" "Open and look the experience in the eye". I defuse from thoughts, and keep myself in the present moment by noticing my breathing, my experience, and without ignoring what is going on inside me. I also use verbally meaningful encouragement to stop me going into habit mode and stay in acceptance mode. "If I do what I have always done (old habits) I will miss out on so much" I also remember to smile with compassion, a smile can break the tension as well. I take with me a paper with a paper with many key elements about acceptance which I have took from different books, or from my own experience, that can help. As always, expansion is about experience and yet more experience. And you generally get better at is the more you do it. I did write something not long ago about being willing and expanding: So open, soften, loosen, smile, let go, have it, put down the welcome mat, pour out some tea for your guests, take is slowly, be present, look in the eye, go forward, defuse, do a lot of all that again, stay on the board. Then, after the storm: the calm. Then, the sun plays on the water and smiles back at you, as you drift aimfully in the sea of life. Tread gently all XXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 10/7/11, Stan escribió:De: Stan Asunto: Re: Expansion using wordsPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 10 de julio, 2011 07:40 I don't have much to add to the wise replies from others, but I do have a thought or two. ACT isn't about trying to change your thoughts, it's about learning to accept and make room for them while doing the things you want to do and that gives your life meaning. Trying to change the thoughts you don't want into ones you do runs the risk of getting tangled up with them and making them worse and more painful. Russ 's friendly scientist metaphor is a good one and, taken the right way, a very powerful one. A good scientist will form a hypothesis about what's happening in some part of the real world, and then conduct a series of experiments to prove or disprove her hypothesis. The heart of her approach is objectivity. She will stand back and notice what actually happens during her experiments and accept the evidence, whether it confirms her hypothesis or blows it to atoms. It's her ability to remain detached and accept what happens, whether it proves her beliefs or not, that makes her a good scientist. It's this ability to stand back and watch the workings of our mind and body from moment to moment objectively that makes ACT so powerful. I've had a few difficulties with a couple of meditations on Russ 's CD as well. I've never found his 'leaves on a stream' meditation very helpful. Like I suspect you do, I have difficulty creating mental images of leaves floating down a stream and painting my thoughts onto them. Maybe it's the way my brain's wired, but it doesn't work for me. It takes me time to think a thought and paint it onto a leaf, and by the time I do, I'm thinking something else and the moment's passed. The thought I want to paint is already history before I can do it. In short, it's not fast enough. The best, simplest, and fastest approach for me, which you'll read about later in Russ 's book and listen to on his CDs, is the Observing Self. This is the part of you that, strange though it sounds until you experience it directly, is aware of your awareness. A common analogy is that your observing self is like the clear blue sky, and all your thoughts and feelings are the clouds that pass through it. When you're happy and everything's fine, the sky is clear and lovely. But when you're unhappy and troubled, there are clouds everywhere and you can't see the sky no matter how hard you try. If anything, your efforts at trying to see the sky makes the clouds grow darker and more threatening. The sky always remains untroubled though, because it knows the clouds can't hurt or affect it in any way. By its very nature, the sky that is your awareness expands to make room for them and doesn't care about them. It's happy to watch them come and go in their own time and in their own way. Put crudely, it doesn't give a shit. On a practical level, the first thing I do when I feel anxious is to watch my chest as it rises and falls with my breathing. This simple act brings me into the present moment and begins the process of defusing from my thoughts and feelings. Then I take a step back and become the sky, and notice the clouds that are my thoughts and feelings arise, sail past, and go. I don't always succeed in contacting the sky of my awareness, I fail a lot of the time, and I end up doing a lot of things I'd rather not do. Drinking and smoking and gambling, for example. I have a lot of difficulties with my addictions but, thanks to ACT, I no longer beat myself up over them. Given enough time and work, I know I'll be able to let them go and live a better and more valued life. All the best on your journey, Stan > > I am working my way through the Happiness Trap and am definitely > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen. > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I > making any sense? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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