Re: Re: Expansion using words /I'm Doing It Wrong and Easier, Softer Way

[Guest guest]

Yes that's always what it seems - that I'm " doing things wrong. " I

never can figure out if I'm doing something correctly without outside

reinforcement ... hopefully once I gain more skills I can work to

change that.

Thanks to everyone who chimed in, I feel much better about the whole

ACT thing now and about doing it without a therapist. I have never

gotten much out of therapy and am grateful for that break. I do need

to finally order a copy of The Happiness Trap, I had it checked out of

the library and just returned it.

On Fri, Jul 8, 2011 at 1:42 PM, theresa.linder@...

wrote:

> And now with a much stronger sense of perspective re: what matters and what

doesn't (values) now with ACT, I really don't think I'd even opt for taking on

that computer. Or at the least I'd honor my process by allowing myself to check

in, back up and see what was going on with this strong urge to get that

computer. And not like to figure it out, but to really just look.  I didn't even

know how to do that. Just look, without forcing any outcome.

>

> I was so blinded by " must get that computer " so much so that I didn't pay

attention or credence to the fact that I was told it was an older version and

that I didn't need one. And dismissed this really important fact that others did

not have one and seemed to be doing just fine. Once the option was there, what

was there straight away was that I just had to go for it. All that power

instilled in this one small thing..and it most certainly didn't stop there.

>

> This was yet one teeny example as to my way of operating most of my life,

keeping a look out as to what I can do to combat all those internal painful

thoughts about myself..just do what you can to stave them off.

>

> All those years of therapy..paying so much time, money and attention to what?

My thoughts of insecurity? Why are you insecure? What makes you that way?  And

what can we do about it to make it go away? Let's look closely at your parents,

lets look closely at your siblings, now let's look at how you are distorting

things..blah, blah, blah..still living inside the mind, giving all the pain more

and more power. Feeding the hungry tiger of " need to know " exactly what is

wrong, what went wrong, need to figure it all out, get a plan, get closure.

>

> Ha!

>

> And so I was blinded (and exhausted) by fusion with all this noise I didn't

even recognize as noise and didn't recognize as fusion. No, I insisted and

learned this is important stuff This is my mind, after all, so it must be really

important!  This is a problem that keeps coming up after all, so it must be

resolved, get to the bottom of it.  So believing I was doing what needed to be

done to heal, I kept warring with the painful thoughts, giving all that noise so

much credence, all the while not at all in touch with my true choices and

values.

>

> Didn't even know I could leave the battlefield and that I'd be O.K. if I did.

Knew something wasn't working, but had to figure out a new battle plan.. Whew.

How sad is that? So many years, so much time, energy. And how great that I can

see this now!  Maybe just in time. Maybe thought there that wishes it were

sooner, yes, that's certainly there along with just in time.  And it's a lovely

day and I'm so grateful for it. What's next?

>

> terry

>

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>> > > Hi Esther,Yes you are making sense:) My suggestion would be to try using

descriptive words as though you are a scientist describing the qualities of the

sensation - start simply - large or small, warm or cold, perhaps rate intensity

etc. Sounds like you are doing really well and discovering things about your

unique experience.Hope this helpsRobyn.  From:

ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ]

On Behalf Of Esther L

>> > > Sent: Friday, 8 July 2011 5:58 AM

>> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public

>> > > Subject: Expansion using words   I am working my way

through the Happiness Trap and am definitely

>> > > finding it challenging to change my thought patterns. I am taking it

>> > > slowly as that seems the only way - I have gotten the hang of defusion

>> > > and moved on to expansion. I am using the first volume of the audio

>> > > tracks accompanying The Happiness Trap for the expansion exercise but

>> > > am feeling stuck. It sounds as though I am to view sensations as an

>> > > image, but I am verbal, not visual and just can't translate the

>> > > exercises in my brain. I try to do it in words but it doesn't happen.

>> > > Is there another exercise that uses words rather than images? Am I

>> > > making any sense?

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