Re: Your story/ Writing exercise

[Guest guest]

I guess like anything, jargon can can be abused, used with fusion to judgment

and intolerance, impatience wagging a finger, especially when it repeatedly

doesn't appreciate or include nuance or context. But this is not the intent of

the writing your story exercise, which I'm doing now again. When I first

started this work, I thought it might be. I was really wrong. It was

traumatizing to me at first. My therapist (who specialized in mindfulness work

with one weekend ACT training) didn't know how to approach it. She agreed it was

too " heavy " for me. So we dropped it.

It's now becoming one of my favorite exercises. It's so pivotal, so central to

this practice! This exercise about not so much getting rid of anything but

moving toward..light, freedom, possibility, choice, breathing better air like

alluded to. But I did need to find that defused, soft place from where to

approach it.

> >> >

> >> > What do people think? I agree with him, the " drop your story "

> >> > decree just grates on my nerves, it seems so dismissive and

> >> > non-compassionate. And so simplistic, it's a catch phrase that

> >> > inhibits and negates the search for insight.

> >>

> >> I wonder - what is the " decree " here? Who is making it? Who is it

> >> who is being non-compassionate and dismissive?

> >>

> >> I wonder if there is not some fear here, some expression of our

> >> discomfort, rather than a real " other " who is decreeing this or

> >> that?

> >>

> >> Masters is interesting. He seems to set up as a shaman, a

> >> psychodynamically oriented spiritual therapist - see his web site:

> >>

> >> http://www.robertmasters.com/home.htm

> >>

> >> He seems sort of in the Carl Jung/ Hillman/

> >> tradition of owning our shadows, etc. That can certainly be very

> >> seductive & sometimes I like what such therapists have to say; I

> >> have a book I am reading right now that I am liking.

> >>

> >> I do think that there is no one in the ACT tradition who is

> >> " decreeing " anything one way or another - and certainly I don't see

> >> any intent in the ACT model to invalidate or attack. That is why I

> >> say it sounds to me like our own fear of being invalidated. It is a

> >> legitimate concern.

> >>

> >> Along those lines here is an excerpt from a Steve email to the

> >> ACT professional list that seems interesting & relevant - it is from

> >> yesterday & comes from a discussion on that list of Krisin Neff's

> >> work and of the relation between defusion and self-compassion:

> >>

> >> " When we say 'I'm have the thought that' as an act of kindness (as

> >> you might when talking to a child about nightmares) it is different

> >> than the judgmental version ('you are just having a thought, sucker,

> >> Snap out of it'). Silly voices or word repetition as a way of

> >> turning on the light is different than the same methods as a way of

> >> wagging a finger.

> >>

> >> " I do get concerned when people want to throw out defusion because it

> >> is invalidating etc. It can be. When I've made errors clinically it

> >> surely was in that moment. But it can also be hugely validating and

> >> empowered -- it carries the deep message that we were suffering

> >> inside and illusion.

> >>

> >> " Turning on the light can be one of the kindest things you can do for

> >> yourself. "

> >>

> >> If anyone is curious, below is the link to the message & the thread

> >> in question -

> >>

> >>

>

http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/message/23587

> >>

> >> - Randy

> >>

> >

> >

>

> --

> Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T

> Rochester, NY, US

> http://darrellking.com

> DarrellGKing@...

>