Re: How I reduced my extreme sadness (facebook) .......

[Guest guest]

OK, makes sense.

You might get a kick out of this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/

>

>

> > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked through

this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that honest reflection

you came to a realization that brought you peace of mind. The process has been

productive and helpful. What is the problem?

>

> There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm looking for

for my

> loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics, real-life

behaviour etc of

> people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect that the

loneliness gives me?

>

> eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were lonely at

least nights

> a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising that I'm the

same as

> everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different word that

would have a

> much better effect on my feelings.

>

> eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm lonely, I'd

just think to

> myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to something i

value etc.

>

> Know what I mean?

>

> So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new issue just

like I've

> dealt with the 2 in the past .....

>

> Hope this makes sense ........

>

> iolanda

>

> --

> Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an institution

;-)

>

[Guest guest]

An interesting article, Rato. Thanks for that.

My new shoe catologue came through the door the other day which is by a

company I very much admire.They are a cottage industry and their shoes

are still made in Britain, and are high comfort rather than high fashion

- terrific. In the women' s section the models are so gorgeous (another

reason why I like the catologue) who are averagely pretty- plus, and are

not outside my range, I reckon (thinking you are in for chance is no bad

thing, kind of natural I think). One thing for certain is that they have

these very professional smiles, and on every page they seem to be having

so much fun in world of utter happiness. They also are projected as

having very upper middleclass lifestyles as they pose in their very

grand surroundings (so perhaps I'm not in for a chance for someone like

that, afterall - I'm still up for having a go, though).

Dorothy Rowe, an English psychologist and prolific author, say's

happiness will only ever be fleeting, but you can live a meaningful

life. And I would llike to add that and say life can be very interesting

too, and can be totally fascinating even if it isn't always fun. Oh

well, back to my books on economics right now, my new obsession, there

is a pile of these next to my bed - this is weirdly interesting stuff.

Kv

> >

> >

> > > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked

through this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that

honest reflection you came to a realization that brought you peace of

mind. The process has been productive and helpful. What is the problem?

> >

> > There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm

looking for for my

> > loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics,

real-life behaviour etc of

> > people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect

that the loneliness gives me?

> >

> > eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were

lonely at least nights

> > a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising

that I'm the same as

> > everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different

word that would have a

> > much better effect on my feelings.

> >

> > eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm

lonely, I'd just think to

> > myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to

something i value etc.

> >

> > Know what I mean?

> >

> > So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new

issue just like I've

> > dealt with the 2 in the past .....

> >

> > Hope this makes sense ........

> >

> > iolanda

> >

> > --

> > Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an

institution ;-)

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this article.  Yes, very interesting.  And yes my mind certainly comes up with the story about how my facebook friends all seem to live such rich lives - all their photos show them hiking, skiing, partying, traveling all over the world.

I do know some of my facebook friends - many not very well, but some well.  I know 98% of the time their life is not all that rich or exciting.  So really it's easy to defused from this everyone else but me lives a wonderful rich life story.

But, a site like linkln or whatever it's called - a more business network rather then just social like facebook - these sites are harder for me.  They show job title of people in my network.  Now I know often job titles are inflated.  But I find it harder to defuse from the I'm such a loser because I'm only a technician story my mind feeds me very often.

Cheers!

 

OK, makes sense.

You might get a kick out of this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/

>

>

> > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked through this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that honest reflection you came to a realization that brought you peace of mind. The process has been productive and helpful. What is the problem?

>

> There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm looking for for my

> loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics, real-life behaviour etc of

> people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect that the loneliness gives me?

>

> eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were lonely at least nights

> a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising that I'm the same as

> everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different word that would have a

> much better effect on my feelings.

>

> eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm lonely, I'd just think to

> myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to something i value etc.

>

> Know what I mean?

>

> So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new issue just like I've

> dealt with the 2 in the past .....

>

> Hope this makes sense ........

>

> iolanda

>

> --

> Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an institution ;-)

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this article.  Yes, very interesting.  And yes my mind certainly comes up with the story about how my facebook friends all seem to live such rich lives - all their photos show them hiking, skiing, partying, traveling all over the world.

I do know some of my facebook friends - many not very well, but some well.  I know 98% of the time their life is not all that rich or exciting.  So really it's easy to defused from this everyone else but me lives a wonderful rich life story.

But, a site like linkln or whatever it's called - a more business network rather then just social like facebook - these sites are harder for me.  They show job title of people in my network.  Now I know often job titles are inflated.  But I find it harder to defuse from the I'm such a loser because I'm only a technician story my mind feeds me very often.

Cheers!

 

OK, makes sense.

You might get a kick out of this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/

>

>

> > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked through this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that honest reflection you came to a realization that brought you peace of mind. The process has been productive and helpful. What is the problem?

>

> There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm looking for for my

> loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics, real-life behaviour etc of

> people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect that the loneliness gives me?

>

> eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were lonely at least nights

> a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising that I'm the same as

> everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different word that would have a

> much better effect on my feelings.

>

> eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm lonely, I'd just think to

> myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to something i value etc.

>

> Know what I mean?

>

> So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new issue just like I've

> dealt with the 2 in the past .....

>

> Hope this makes sense ........

>

> iolanda

>

> --

> Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an institution ;-)

>

[Guest guest]

 I just want to add a note - an interesting book related to this is Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton.  Not about facebook but more about having a bigger house in better neighborhood, that kind of thing.  It's the same thing at work though - people trying to show best face to the world and thinking everyone else is happier and better and living better life, etc.

Cheers,

Thanks for posting this article.  Yes, very interesting.  And yes my mind certainly comes up with the story about how my facebook friends all seem to live such rich lives - all their photos show them hiking, skiing, partying, traveling all over the world.

I do know some of my facebook friends - many not very well, but some well.  I know 98% of the time their life is not all that rich or exciting.  So really it's easy to defused from this everyone else but me lives a wonderful rich life story.

But, a site like linkln or whatever it's called - a more business network rather then just social like facebook - these sites are harder for me.  They show job title of people in my network.  Now I know often job titles are inflated.  But I find it harder to defuse from the I'm such a loser because I'm only a technician story my mind feeds me very often.

Cheers!

 

OK, makes sense.

You might get a kick out of this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/

>

>

> > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked through this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that honest reflection you came to a realization that brought you peace of mind. The process has been productive and helpful. What is the problem?

>

> There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm looking for for my

> loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics, real-life behaviour etc of

> people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect that the loneliness gives me?

>

> eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were lonely at least nights

> a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising that I'm the same as

> everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different word that would have a

> much better effect on my feelings.

>

> eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm lonely, I'd just think to

> myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to something i value etc.

>

> Know what I mean?

>

> So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new issue just like I've

> dealt with the 2 in the past .....

>

> Hope this makes sense ........

>

> iolanda

>

> --

> Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an institution ;-)

>

[Guest guest]

 I just want to add a note - an interesting book related to this is Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton.  Not about facebook but more about having a bigger house in better neighborhood, that kind of thing.  It's the same thing at work though - people trying to show best face to the world and thinking everyone else is happier and better and living better life, etc.

Cheers,

Thanks for posting this article.  Yes, very interesting.  And yes my mind certainly comes up with the story about how my facebook friends all seem to live such rich lives - all their photos show them hiking, skiing, partying, traveling all over the world.

I do know some of my facebook friends - many not very well, but some well.  I know 98% of the time their life is not all that rich or exciting.  So really it's easy to defused from this everyone else but me lives a wonderful rich life story.

But, a site like linkln or whatever it's called - a more business network rather then just social like facebook - these sites are harder for me.  They show job title of people in my network.  Now I know often job titles are inflated.  But I find it harder to defuse from the I'm such a loser because I'm only a technician story my mind feeds me very often.

Cheers!

 

OK, makes sense.

You might get a kick out of this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/

>

>

> > I see no conflict b/t ACT principles and the way you have worked through this issue. You are honestly reflecting on things. In that honest reflection you came to a realization that brought you peace of mind. The process has been productive and helpful. What is the problem?

>

> There's no " problem " - I was using this as an example for what I'm looking for for my

> loneliness ......... using the same reflection, statistics, real-life behaviour etc of

> people ........ can I try to find something to reduce the effect that the loneliness gives me?

>

> eg. if I found 1,000 studies that said that 99.9999% of people were lonely at least nights

> a week, well that would get me researching definitions, realising that I'm the same as

> everone else ........ and then my deflection would be a different word that would have a

> much better effect on my feelings.

>

> eg. if the above were true then when I got the feeling that I'm lonely, I'd just think to

> myself /defuse " Just like 99% of the population " and then go on to something i value etc.

>

> Know what I mean?

>

> So I'm looking for tips and ideas as to how I can deal with the new issue just like I've

> dealt with the 2 in the past .....

>

> Hope this makes sense ........

>

> iolanda

>

> --

> Marriage is a great institution – but I don't want to live in an institution ;-)

>