Re: REPLY: - physical illness

[Guest guest]

hey, i am no expert, but it seems that life involves struggling and struggles of

one form or another. If there were no struggles to overcome, then that wouldn't

be LIFE.

I am thinking.... that we are all biological creatures, some of us more prone to

illness than others, there is no reason for it, and certainly no answers. The

more we seek out the answers to why the more we come up against this wall of

should i say... indifference.

I think the only thing that we have is how we choose to respond... to life's

challenges and struggles? Do we brush it away as though it is abhorrent? Do we

ignore it because we don't wanna deal with it? Or do we accept it and find out

how to best deal with it? Maybe sharing a particular experience w someone is

sometimes all we really can do.

Tom

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> hi oscar:-)

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> <<<< my question, how do you accept something (eg your son's autism) that

means something different everyday? A daily reality slap. (And a daily slap

starts to feel a little like a beating). Doesn't every day feel like you are

starting again, accepting something new?>>>>

> <<<My

> second question: how did you break free of those chains, or do you

> still presume that medical advice is always more optimistic than

> realistic?>>>>>

> Excellent question oscar, and i would llove to hear some replies on these.

Some times anxiety comes from a reaction to " perceived threatening " situtaions,

an sometimes anxiety and depressio comes from being hit with real, devastating

phyiscal illness. Comingto terms with it, on a daily basis can become very

challanging. E.g. knowing someone was just diagnosed with cancer, and now has to

go trhough painful treatments and also knows despite that their life will never

be the same, plus span of life just been been cut drastically.

> Or letz say in my case, younger brother was diagnsed with MS. Very

unpredicable disease. He's so young, has a family, a 1 yr old, wife pregant with

another baby, how is his disease progressing so fast? but it was just diagnosed.

not even enougn time to come in terms with it. from him, his wife, us. leasions

in his brain affect his vision. All of a sudden relapses r daily, so regular,

normal functioning heavily impaired. Daily something new, very unpredicatvble

symptoms. nights he doesn't sleep coz immense eye pain, andfeel slike his

eyeballs r about to pop out. tons of pain killers. yet pains till there. he

won't close his eyes from fear that what if he wakes up blind? somdays it's the

dizziness. so stays put in bed. but must work , what to do? he's the bread

earner.

> tough...phsyical illiness is not a perceived threat.

> having had a traumatic expereince - rape etc. like what helena shared with us.

jazakallah khai helena for sharing it.......sorry i just lost my train of

thought, my 3 yr old is demanding that i get off the computer and read him some

story books.....so i havta go..wasalaam:-)

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> From: ACT_for_the_Public

[mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of Robson

> Sent: Wednesday, 21 September 2011 6:50 PM

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Subject: Re: The Reality Slap: How to Find Fulfilment

When Life Hurts Hi Russ & friends Very well done on getting a new book out - a

great achievement. I'll look forward to it when out in UK, but in the meantime

the opening chapters you posted resonate powerfully with me as a father. I'm

glad you raised the stages of grief in the book, ending with acceptance, but I

have two questions. 1) Your son's diagnosis of autism was just the beginning.

Autism has an incredibly wide spectrum, and so all you found out on that day was

that he is on that spectrum somewhere. If your experience was anything like

mine (my son isn't autistic but has other global learning difficulties) then

every day brings new information and learning about your son's condition. I

have experienced death and grief, and I accepted with time quite easily, because

what was there to struggle with? It's the end, it's fixed. So, my question, how

do you accept something (eg your son's autism) that means something different

everyday? A daily reality slap. (And a daily slap starts to feel a little like

a beating). Doesn't every day feel like you are starting again, accepting

something new? 2) You saw lots of doctors who initially said that boys develop

later and he'll be fine. Shit, do I know that one. I've been physically

escorted out of one NHS building because they just would not listen. But that

has had a long profound negative effect on me. I now presume things are worse

than they are. My wife will say " he's not so severely impaired as you are

making out, listen to the experts telling us that " . I say: " isn't that what why

said at the beginning " . My second question: how did you break free of those

chains, or do you still presume that medical advice is always more optimistic

than realistic? I guess these are big questions, so I should wait for the

book.... Best wishes, x

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