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On pain and suffering

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The only time I have ever felt really good -- good enough to want to live and good enough to make plans -- is when I've been under the influence of some substance. Thanks to societal rules and regulations, the availability of those substances is vanishing. Oh sure, my "pain" is as nothing compared to what so many others seem to be suffering. I know, I know. I know. I should be thankful I'm not a teen on Utoeya island in Norway, or some partygoer in Grand Prairie, Texas. I know. I know. I know.I know fuck-all.

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Had my day as well, although I wasn't gorgeous. That ended about twenty years ago and I have found many other things far more enjoyable since. Also plenty of pain, though, and since I'd rather not go back to burying it, I have had no choice but to engage it.D

Hey, I used to be a partygoer in Grand Prairie. Texas. I was young and gorgeous and uninhibited. I know better now. You are creating your suffering. I suppose you know that. Carry on ...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 24, 2011 12:04:31 PMSubject: On pain and suffering

The only time I have ever felt really good -- good enough to want to live and good enough to make plans -- is when I've been under the influence of some substance. Thanks to societal rules and regulations, the availability of those substances is vanishing. Oh sure, my "pain" is as nothing compared to what so many others seem to be suffering. I know, I know. I know. I should be thankful I'm not a teen on Utoeya island in Norway, or some partygoer in Grand Prairie, Texas. I know. I know. I know.I know fuck-all.

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Had my day as well, although I wasn't gorgeous. That ended about twenty years ago and I have found many other things far more enjoyable since. Also plenty of pain, though, and since I'd rather not go back to burying it, I have had no choice but to engage it.D

Hey, I used to be a partygoer in Grand Prairie. Texas. I was young and gorgeous and uninhibited. I know better now. You are creating your suffering. I suppose you know that. Carry on ...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 24, 2011 12:04:31 PMSubject: On pain and suffering

The only time I have ever felt really good -- good enough to want to live and good enough to make plans -- is when I've been under the influence of some substance. Thanks to societal rules and regulations, the availability of those substances is vanishing. Oh sure, my "pain" is as nothing compared to what so many others seem to be suffering. I know, I know. I know. I should be thankful I'm not a teen on Utoeya island in Norway, or some partygoer in Grand Prairie, Texas. I know. I know. I know.I know fuck-all.

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I hear you, Darrell!

It was strange to me, Detlef, that you mentioned Grand Prairie, Texas, which is such a small town it doesn't come up much, especially from someone on the other side of the world. Then that evening, I saw it was in the news due to a man who fatally shot his wife at a birthday party in Grand Prairie, so now I suppose that's why you mentioned it. Anyway, I lived there for about a year when I was 21, so many memories from that time came flooding up for me. I wasn't really a party-goer - I was really too shy for that - but I did party privately, usually with a bottle of wine and a man. When I think of all the years I spent partying, searching for love in all the wrong places, I shake my head, wondering how I survived my youth. I wouldn't trade my current life for being young again for anything in the world. And I do have a lot of fond memories from that era; my youth was not entirely wasted!

Detlef, I'm sorry for being flippant in my earlier reply; I was distracted by the mention of Grand Prairie. I feel deeply for what you are going through, trying to deal with the aftermath of your addiction to that medication you got online but no longer can. All I can say is you will be stronger and better once you get through this difficult time, as though that's any comfort right now. Perhaps it is best that that particular party came to an end; how much longer could you keep increasing the dosage without doing real harm to your body/mind? Can your doctor prescribe anything for short-tem use to help you get through it so you don't need to reply on alcohol? Is ACT helping you? Maybe this is the time for you to practice it diligently.

Helena

From: "Darrell King" <DarrellGKinggmail>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Cc: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 7:14:03 AMSubject: Re: On pain and suffering

Had my day as well, although I wasn't gorgeous. That ended about twenty years ago and I have found many other things far more enjoyable since. Also plenty of pain, though, and since I'd rather not go back to burying it, I have had no choice but to engage it.

D

Hey, I used to be a partygoer in Grand Prairie. Texas. I was young and gorgeous and uninhibited. I know better now. You are creating your suffering. I suppose you know that. Carry on ...

Helena

From: "michieux" <michieux.au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 24, 2011 12:04:31 PMSubject: On pain and suffering

The only time I have ever felt really good -- good enough to want to live and good enough to make plans -- is when I've been under the influence of some substance. Thanks to societal rules and regulations, the availability of those substances is vanishing. Oh sure, my "pain" is as nothing compared to what so many others seem to be suffering. I know, I know. I know. I should be thankful I'm not a teen on Utoeya island in Norway, or some partygoer in Grand Prairie, Texas. I know. I know. I know.I know fuck-all.

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I hear you, Darrell!

It was strange to me, Detlef, that you mentioned Grand Prairie, Texas, which is such a small town it doesn't come up much, especially from someone on the other side of the world. Then that evening, I saw it was in the news due to a man who fatally shot his wife at a birthday party in Grand Prairie, so now I suppose that's why you mentioned it. Anyway, I lived there for about a year when I was 21, so many memories from that time came flooding up for me. I wasn't really a party-goer - I was really too shy for that - but I did party privately, usually with a bottle of wine and a man. When I think of all the years I spent partying, searching for love in all the wrong places, I shake my head, wondering how I survived my youth. I wouldn't trade my current life for being young again for anything in the world. And I do have a lot of fond memories from that era; my youth was not entirely wasted!

Detlef, I'm sorry for being flippant in my earlier reply; I was distracted by the mention of Grand Prairie. I feel deeply for what you are going through, trying to deal with the aftermath of your addiction to that medication you got online but no longer can. All I can say is you will be stronger and better once you get through this difficult time, as though that's any comfort right now. Perhaps it is best that that particular party came to an end; how much longer could you keep increasing the dosage without doing real harm to your body/mind? Can your doctor prescribe anything for short-tem use to help you get through it so you don't need to reply on alcohol? Is ACT helping you? Maybe this is the time for you to practice it diligently.

Helena

From: "Darrell King" <DarrellGKinggmail>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Cc: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 7:14:03 AMSubject: Re: On pain and suffering

Had my day as well, although I wasn't gorgeous. That ended about twenty years ago and I have found many other things far more enjoyable since. Also plenty of pain, though, and since I'd rather not go back to burying it, I have had no choice but to engage it.

D

Hey, I used to be a partygoer in Grand Prairie. Texas. I was young and gorgeous and uninhibited. I know better now. You are creating your suffering. I suppose you know that. Carry on ...

Helena

From: "michieux" <michieux.au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 24, 2011 12:04:31 PMSubject: On pain and suffering

The only time I have ever felt really good -- good enough to want to live and good enough to make plans -- is when I've been under the influence of some substance. Thanks to societal rules and regulations, the availability of those substances is vanishing. Oh sure, my "pain" is as nothing compared to what so many others seem to be suffering. I know, I know. I know. I should be thankful I'm not a teen on Utoeya island in Norway, or some partygoer in Grand Prairie, Texas. I know. I know. I know.I know fuck-all.

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