REPLY: - physical illness

[Guest guest]

hi oscar:-)<<<< my question, how do you accept something (eg your son's autism) that means something different everyday? A daily reality slap. (And a daily slap starts to feel a little like a beating). Doesn't every day feel like you are starting again, accepting something new?>>>><<<My

second question: how did you break free of those chains, or do you

still presume that medical advice is always more optimistic than

realistic?>>>>>Excellent question oscar, and i would llove to hear some replies on these. Some times anxiety comes from a reaction to "perceived threatening" situtaions, an sometimes anxiety and depressio comes from being hit with real, devastating phyiscal illness. Comingto terms with it, on a daily basis can become very challanging. E.g. knowing someone was just diagnosed with cancer, and now has to go trhough painful treatments and also knows despite that their life will never be the same, plus span of life just been been cut drastically.Or letz say in my case, younger brother was diagnsed with MS. Very unpredicable disease. He's so young, has a family, a 1 yr old, wife pregant with another baby, how is his disease progressing so fast? but it was just diagnosed. not even enougn time to come in terms with it. from him, his wife, us. leasions in his brain affect his vision. All of a sudden relapses r daily, so regular, normal functioning heavily impaired. Daily something new, very unpredicatvble symptoms. nights he doesn't sleep coz immense eye pain, andfeel slike his eyeballs r about to pop out. tons of pain killers. yet pains till there. he won't close his eyes from fear that what if he wakes up blind? somdays it's the dizziness. so stays put in bed. but must work , what to do? he's the bread earner. tough...phsyical illiness is not a perceived threat. having had a traumatic expereince - rape etc. like what helena shared with us. jazakallah khai helena for sharing it.......sorry i just lost my train of thought, my 3 yr old is demanding that i get off the computer and read him some story books.....so i havta go..wasalaam:-) From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of RobsonSent: Wednesday, 21 September 2011 6:50 PMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Re: The Reality Slap: How to Find Fulfilment When Life Hurts Hi Russ & friends Very well done on getting a new book out - a great achievement. I'll look forward to it when out in UK, but in the meantime the opening chapters you posted resonate powerfully with me as a father. I'm glad you raised the stages of grief in the book, ending with acceptance, but I have two questions. 1) Your son's diagnosis of autism was just the beginning. Autism has an incredibly wide spectrum, and so all you found out on that day was that he is on that spectrum somewhere. If your experience was anything like mine (my son isn't autistic but has other global learning difficulties) then every day brings new information and learning about your son's condition. I have experienced death and grief, and I accepted with time quite easily, because what was there to struggle with? It's the end, it's fixed. So, my question, how do you accept something (eg your son's autism) that means something different everyday? A daily reality slap. (And a daily slap starts to feel a little like a beating). Doesn't every day feel like you are starting again, accepting something new? 2) You saw lots of doctors who initially said that boys develop later and he'll be fine. Shit, do I know that one. I've been physically escorted out of one NHS building because they just would not listen. But that has had a long profound negative effect on me. I now presume things are worse than they are. My wife will say "he's not so severely impaired as you are making out, listen to the experts telling us that". I say: "isn't that what why said at the beginning". My second question: how did you break free of those chains, or do you still presume that medical advice is always more optimistic than realistic? I guess these are big questions, so I should wait for the book.... Best wishes, x