Re: Video ? Getting out of my own way

[Guest guest]

Yep, I'll take all of the above for 500, .

I really am enjoying the commenting about getting in my own way. This is

happening in very insidious ways. The mind knows no limits with respect to this.

And I do far better to remember this, stay on red alert.

Last night I went to a " graduation " class with my new Tutor group and noticed

how much I was enjoying everyone sharing their experience thus far. Turns out

I'm about as on track and lost as everyone else. I also noticed how important

this kind of thing is, and how little of it is around. (It's basically do your

own thing with a few check-in's a year, but there are opportunities to connect

here and there). Seemed like a lot of folks reaching out and just wanting to be

good helpers, grappling in the dark, eager for a bit of guidance, eager to just

share.

The instructors interestingly had a bit of a hard time with some of the sharing,

trying hard to keep it upbeat, positive and asking for success stories.

Actually, it was a bit sad to watch, knowing what I know about allowing the

struggle a bit of breathing room and having that included as part and parcel to

the process. Not their fault--they clearly want to help too and I imagine

they've been trained this is the way to keep volunteers motivated (large burn

out rate). But it was hard to watch this almost insistence to put a positive

spin on whatever sounded a bit too " I'm lost " . It was hard for me to sit with

this sad awareness and not fuse with it and then act it out in some way. So

holding all this lightly is where I'm at. And I allowed myself a really good

time and did not let this cheer-leading (which just didn't quite jive with the

struggles being shared) turn me away. I noticed the longing for a more fitting

response and the loneliness that came with this:

" I notice what seems others are not or others are deliberately ignoring and

pretending about. I don't like this. I know it would work better if they

reframed this so folks would know it's not so horrible to feel lost. " Argh....

This is a strong suffering place for me to fuse with, and thereby gets in my way

in a very slippery, sneaky way. This time I did not allow it. I rode it out. All

the inner commenting. I sat with it and listened to myself. I was present with

my own observations.

And with that, something very special: where there was an opening, another

reaching out with their own story on the coffee break, I was there, listening,

conveying my own " mixed bag " experience. I took the openings where I found

them. That I even noticed the openings was quite amazing, really. :-)

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> > I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that

> > the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to

> > the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw

> > up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general

> > wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

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> > <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related>

> > <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related>

> > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

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> > ______________________

> > Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

> >

> > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

> > Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life

> > in general. Feel free to browse.

> >

> > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

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