Re: when sleep won't come

[Guest guest]

>

> As I began to work with students the anxiety came on with

> thoughts of " What if he quits doing what I am asking him to do? I

> won't be able to handle it if the student misbehaves. I will look

> like a failure if he doesn't do as I say. "

Hi ,

I have a question that does not relate to your concern about sleep,

but rather to your teaching experience in general.

I happen to teach a little myself - but I teach adults at a

university night school. I get the feeling you are teaching younger

people.

What I am curious about is, what do you feel your relationship is

like with your students in terms of your values & your reasons for

teaching - for being there in the classroom physically w/these other

people who happen to be your students?

I ask this because for me, although I do have some mild anxiety now

& then, it is nothing in comparison to why I am there in the first

place. I.e., whatever anxiety I may feel here and there is OK

because it is part of the process of doing something I value -

helping people in a particular way. And the " people " part is huge

for me. I wouldn't teach without it.

Because my class is just a one-semester class, I have new students

each semester. And each semester I start out baffled and sometimes

in dismay at some of my students. They are all mysterious to me; I

look at the problems I see in their work & often shake my head; etc.

But within a few classes I am starting to get intrigued. And by

mid-semester I am working hard to better understand them & help

them. Part of the attraction of teaching to me is finding a common

ground with my students. To me, I am not so much teaching a subject

(writing) as I am working with people.

I probably have some advantages in this regard. My class size is

never more than 15, and as an adjunct I teach only one or two

classes per semester. And with adults, even young adults, the

relationship is one of equals even if I have more authority in the

classroom.

But I still think that if teaching did not offer the chance to

connect with people, I wouldn't do it. This is true even though each

semester, one or two of my students tend to not like the class & not

like me as a teacher. Comes with the territory and with my desire to

push people to do good work & to have them push me a little too.

Anyway, just curious - you speak of seeing your students as threats

- are there other aspects to your relationship with them that are

positive & would offer a chance to focus on your values and why you

are there with them, as opposed to focusing purely on your anxiety

about whether you are in control? Even with " problem " students, is

there an opportunity to create a connection or follow a value?

- Randy

[Guest guest]

Hi Sleep-deprivation is torture, and I really feel for you. I have had this problem for a long time, although I'm pleased to say it is much better for me than it was. I think it is mostly ACT's defusion techniques that worked for me, although I will add the following.1. A dark, silent room is a fertile breeding ground for thoughts to hook you, since there is nothing else for your mind to "look at" whilst you fall asleep. I bought a cheap MP3 player with the gentle sound of raindrops. The noise gently holds my focus as I drift off. I also sometimes sleep with the TV on in the background, on an inaudible volume (and on timer), to add a bit of flickering

light;2. I have a little tag dangling from the drawer-knob of my bedside table, with the words "there's nothing you can do now", written on it. I stare at it sometimes at night as a reminder for me to use the defusion techniques I have learnt in ACT.I also tried using ACT to work on the feelings of tiredness during the day. I used to get wound-up because I was tired. But in the end, feeling tired is a just that: a sensation, like hunger or thirst. Unpleasant, but all the worse if you pay attention to it.Good luck, x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 13 September 2011, 12:29Subject: when sleep won't comeI know this has been addressed recently but I could use some more insights as to how to deal with the issue of anxiety preventing sleep. I usually don't have sleep difficulties except when a bout of anxiety comes on. I am not very accepting of this to say the least! I am going to explain how my day transpired yesterday in hopes that some of you can give your world class advice as to how I got hooked etc. I felt great yesterday headed to school. As I began to work with

students the anxiety came on with thoughts of "What if he quits doing what I am asking him to do? I won't be able to handle it if the student misbehaves. I will look like a failure if he doesn't do as I say". I did to some degree recognize that these were just thoughts, but good grief those are some real mood busters!!!!! So the anxiety came on as well. I had some self-kindness going in that I realized who wouldn't feel anxiety when the situation seemed so threatening. But I also had the fix it mentality of "if I just could quit seeing these kids in such a threatening way then everything would be alright". I did at least notice that I was wanting to struggle with and fix my thoughts rather than accept them. I kept at it throughout the day and felt like I was a little further along in using my ACT tools but when I went to bed everything seemed to rear its head again and sleep was elusive. That is when I feel like anxiety is so dangerous. That is when the

vicious cycle begins for me, if I can't quit being anxious , I can't sleep, if I can't sleep I can't quit feeling anxious and can't function well. So this morning, I am taking a day off from school because the lack of sleep has me feeling like I could not function well. I feel like I have to be so "on" and together in my job. I am feeling like a failure at ACT for doing this, but maybe I just need a day to sit on my hands! Thoughts? ------------------------------------For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.orgIf you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may unsubscribe by sending an email to ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links<*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/<*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional<*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join (Yahoo! ID required)<*> To change settings via email: ACT_for_the_Public-digest ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured <*>

[Guest guest]

Try melatonin or Valerian root

This used to be an issue with me when my anxiety used to be much higher and much

more frequent

Exercise is important

The thing you can't do is make falling asleep an effort

If your mind is racing, try reading or watching something on TV that is

mindless...do your best to allow that state of sleeplessness to just

be...resistance to it will only make it persist...label it if you need " there is

a state of sleeplessness " , and move on...if you can't accept it, accept your

unacceptance to it (a great tool)...if you have anxiety about being tired the

next day, know that while tiredness might not be optimal, it is something you

can handle, and it will be OK...

As for the students, maybe it's a lesson to be learned on the level of control

you have, and letting go of the part that you can't...as in, do your best, and

allow the rest to unfold on it's own, as it will regardless of whether you worry

about it

You can't " fail " at what you can't control

>

> I know this has been addressed recently but I could use some more insights as

to how to deal with the issue of anxiety preventing sleep. I usually don't have

sleep difficulties except when a bout of anxiety comes on. I am not very

accepting of this to say the least! I am going to explain how my day transpired

yesterday in hopes that some of you can give your world class advice as to how I

got hooked etc. I felt great yesterday headed to school. As I began to work with

students the anxiety came on with thoughts of " What if he quits doing what I am

asking him to do? I won't be able to handle it if the student misbehaves. I will

look like a failure if he doesn't do as I say " . I did to some degree recognize

that these were just thoughts, but good grief those are some real mood

busters!!!!! So the anxiety came on as well. I had some self-kindness going in

that I realized who wouldn't feel anxiety when the situation seemed so

threatening. But I also had the fix it mentality of " if I just could quit seeing

these kids in such a threatening way then everything would be alright " . I did at

least notice that I was wanting to struggle with and fix my thoughts rather than

accept them. I kept at it throughout the day and felt like I was a little

further along in using my ACT tools but when I went to bed everything seemed to

rear its head again and sleep was elusive. That is when I feel like anxiety is

so dangerous. That is when the vicious cycle begins for me, if I can't quit

being anxious , I can't sleep, if I can't sleep I can't quit feeling anxious and

can't function well. So this morning, I am taking a day off from school because

the lack of sleep has me feeling like I could not function well. I feel like I

have to be so " on " and together in my job. I am feeling like a failure at ACT

for doing this, but maybe I just need a day to sit on my hands! Thoughts?

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Randy, for the reply!! I teach younger students Kindergarten, 1st, and

2nd grade, so I feel the authority figure issue much more strongly. I realize I

overemphasize this but it is just one of those thoughts that my mind naturally

wants to emphasize. I guess it is because I don't really think of myself as

capable of an authority role.I really just don't like that being an authority

figure is part of my job responsibilities. So I think that is why I often wonder

if I am capable at my job. When these feelings come on I begin wondering if I

have put myself in a job all these years that is too stressful for me because

this continues to come back and bother me time and time again. I mean, I can go

through times where I enjoy my job and feel capable but this feeling of

inadequacy in the authority area continues to rear its head. Or is it that I am

just not doing what ACT says to do???? I want to just connect and value being

able to enhance the lives of these students. It makes me feel critical of myself

when I hear you say you wonder if I could focus on other aspects of our

relationship. I would love to do that!!! I start my struggle switch with " you

must quit focusing on the authority issue or you'll never get over this! " So

what ACT skill do I need to work on? Just let those fearful thoughts just run

and try to focus on what I am doing in the present? I thought I was doing that

yesterday but the anxiety still seemed to increase at bedtime. Just feeling like

I am failing at ACT today!!!

> >

> > As I began to work with students the anxiety came on with

> > thoughts of " What if he quits doing what I am asking him to do? I

> > won't be able to handle it if the student misbehaves. I will look

> > like a failure if he doesn't do as I say. "

>

> Hi ,

>

> I have a question that does not relate to your concern about sleep,

> but rather to your teaching experience in general.

>

> I happen to teach a little myself - but I teach adults at a

> university night school. I get the feeling you are teaching younger

> people.

>

> What I am curious about is, what do you feel your relationship is

> like with your students in terms of your values & your reasons for

> teaching - for being there in the classroom physically w/these other

> people who happen to be your students?

>

> I ask this because for me, although I do have some mild anxiety now

> & then, it is nothing in comparison to why I am there in the first

> place. I.e., whatever anxiety I may feel here and there is OK

> because it is part of the process of doing something I value -

> helping people in a particular way. And the " people " part is huge

> for me. I wouldn't teach without it.

>

> Because my class is just a one-semester class, I have new students

> each semester. And each semester I start out baffled and sometimes

> in dismay at some of my students. They are all mysterious to me; I

> look at the problems I see in their work & often shake my head; etc.

> But within a few classes I am starting to get intrigued. And by

> mid-semester I am working hard to better understand them & help

> them. Part of the attraction of teaching to me is finding a common

> ground with my students. To me, I am not so much teaching a subject

> (writing) as I am working with people.

>

> I probably have some advantages in this regard. My class size is

> never more than 15, and as an adjunct I teach only one or two

> classes per semester. And with adults, even young adults, the

> relationship is one of equals even if I have more authority in the

> classroom.

>

> But I still think that if teaching did not offer the chance to

> connect with people, I wouldn't do it. This is true even though each

> semester, one or two of my students tend to not like the class & not

> like me as a teacher. Comes with the territory and with my desire to

> push people to do good work & to have them push me a little too.

>

> Anyway, just curious - you speak of seeing your students as threats

> - are there other aspects to your relationship with them that are

> positive & would offer a chance to focus on your values and why you

> are there with them, as opposed to focusing purely on your anxiety

> about whether you are in control? Even with " problem " students, is

> there an opportunity to create a connection or follow a value?

>

> - Randy

>