Re: Need your help... @

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Not a worry, Helena. I say "uncool" things all the time. That's probably why I have no friends.As for , if she has the guts to get up and address a bunch of strangers as she does with Toastmasters, she has my deep admiration. I'm just in awe.Regards,Detlef > > > > salaamz :-) > > > > @ Dr. > > > > <<<the process is part of the message -- not just the content>> > > > > jazakallah khair :-). This is what i keep reminding myself whenever the 'demon' comes out to the surface of the boat and says "You should have started off small,and prepared urself , b4 u decided to expose yourself completely in a big crowd, which u have never done b4" . > > Bottom line, how does one prepare themselves for 'anxiety' ! There is not much thing. Best preparation would be to prepare 'to accept it with compassion when it shows up' . As I do it at my public speaking classes. Difference. crowd is very encouraging and motivating. My people , is a crowd that comes with fused stigma, judgements , critisizm . But my purpose is clear in my head, and while i cannot change people's evaluations and judgements , if i can just reach out to 1 person (as randy was saying) or simply 1 person can relate to my struggles, then i c victory. As , since i was introduced to ACT i have started to c victory in 'the walk towards' the end goal, and not in 'reaching' the end goal. > > > > <<..we show more kindness to ourselves and each others -- healing > > and wholeness is possible...>> > > absolutely. JZK for this. This is the best approach. One part is compassion for ourselves towards our own painful expereinces , and definately another is showing the same level of kindness to each other. I have suffered my own share of critism from my own people, for not being able to 'stand up' to racial attacks. Some one needs to break this in my community, and the way to break it would be to make em realize that it is OK to be intimidated by someone who acts or seems threatening. Fusion to the thought of being 'weak' and a 'helpless' person is one that i had struggled with and felt didn't get much help from some of my own people when i opened up to them. ACT, and My therapy with Joann gave me that help! > > > > Also i loooooved what you wrote in your last paragraphs Dr. :-) > > JAZAKALLAH KHAIR from the bottom of my heart. After i wrote here to the list, I immeately wrote to my x-therapist, Dr. M. Joann , and told her Joann if only i can make my speech more personal to be able to reach out and connect with others, then i will feel like i accomplished my goal. Which would mean show them, live, in person, what anxiety looks like, as no doubt i will be having it:-), show them that DESPITE having immense fear/stress/anxiety how one can still move with their hands and feet/take action, by learning to accept it for just what it is, and not how the mind evaluates it, accept it and make room for it, without attaching any judgements to it, and be compasionate towards urself when experecing it, and just move forward with the task at hand by connecting with ur present moment, WITH the discomfort being present. > > So basically i intend on starting off with showing what exactly presentation anxiety looks like. > > > > Lastly i do appreciate all the times i asked you for help, advice for the muslim community, through emails, and you were always ready to help me in any and every way u could, despite not even knowing me, or ever having seen me. YOUR therapy has been a life changing expereince for me, and i hope i can share it with my people, not as an expert who knows everthing there is to know about this therapy , but simply as a sufferer who would like to share with them 'HOW ACT HAS HELPED HER CHANGE HER LIFE AROUND' > > > > wasalaam :-) > >>