Re: Why ACT ?

[Guest guest]

Please continue to write these wonderful, helpful responses and don't apologize

for their length. I love their length! It gives me a much better insight, a

better picture!! Wonderful and helpful post!!!

>

> hi:-)

> i have tried to go through some of the emails about similarties and difference

between ACT and CBT and the other one starting with an R (i can't remember) and

i must confess after a few emails i was totally in the vocabulary and

explanations. But that is perhaps coz i have a tough time comprehending when

it's getz into too much detail.

> I have had around 8 months of CBT and i just wanted to mention y " for me " ACT

worked out better.

>

> While there r similarities in ACT and CBT i agree, and the preivious emails

did a great job in listing em, when i was doing CBT, i found myself getting

lost with all the logical explanations and rationalizations behind CBT's

thought processing. Also the readings i would get from my therapists, including

how to restructure it using the CBT ’s 10 steps to thought records, it just

required a lotta thinking " deep " + " remembering " .....for me when i was

introduced to the ACT approach, it was as simple as 1+1=2

>

> For me, ACT is the MOST compassionate way, of dealing with ourselves. The

theories behind Act teaches us complete, un-conditional love towards urselves,

just like we would like the world to treat us with. The whole idea about the

fact that it deson't really matter what ur thinking and feeling, whether is is

true or not, how rational , logical it is or not, is irrelevant, what matters is

u r still able to love urself, be compassionate towards ur exprecinces , and

keep moving on, knowing that u STILL can, and that all this pain and suffering

STILL does not havta dictate ur actions. I mean to me this is AMAZING!...we r

being asked to love urselves just like a mother would love her baby,

unconditionally.

>

> Anxities, depression, stress etc...all these come from us being too hard on

ourselves. Letting go of all those self evaluluations and judgements that come

from expreincing painful thoughts, emotions, feelings, IS liberating!...it

literally feels like all these years , all the things that have caused me sooooo

much anxiety/depression/grief, now all i am doing is SIMPLY seeing them in a

completely diff. way, with compassion towards myself, hence am willing to

expreince them with open arms.

>

> there is also one think that was a result of the mind-shift in me. and that

was the mindfulness exercise " welcome anxiety, my old friend " ...if i got

nothing out of this, but just ponder upon these few words, i will realize what

it is that i am supposed to do. " welcome " , to me is embrace what u can't

change, and realize that it is a " normal " emotion hence let go of even the

desire to change it. " my old friend " . while u fought all ur life with it,

thinking it was ur biggest enemy, if only u saw it as " an old frined " u would

realizze that u need not fight no more. I can now relax , and chanel that same

energy to learning to EMBRACE it if and when it comes, just like u would an

old friend. And if that old friend was inticially not the best personality, the

fact that now u r welcoming him WITH love and compassion and open arms, his

personality will (or might) start to change eventually (neg. mind chatter will

start to quite down)

>

> lastly to me ACT is so simple, it is a therapy that even a layman like

myself., who can't remember the last time i picked and read a book, can

understand. So yeah, I GET ACT:-)

> forget all those words, defusion, psychological flexibilty, self as context,

self as content, mindfulneess, etc etc....i have just started to read and

understand these words in depth now. but even b4 that, just from the therapy i

knew, or i felt i knew EVERYTHING I needed to know about ACT to make a life

change. ACT is as simple as the 3 alphabets it is comprised of...ACCEPT ur self

and all ur expereinces just the way they r, and COMMIT urself to moving forward

despite the (preceived) obsticles.

>

> One more thing that attracted me to ACT is, well no i take that back, My

Therapy in Chicago and my Therapist Joann attrcated me to act, but one more

thing that i was facinated by

> is the VALUES piece. We live in a world that is so goal oriented. In the sense

that the word " accomplishments " only comes in ur title when uu have achieved ur

goals. This is where once again i feel like ACT shows us the most loving and

compassionate way of being towards ourselves. U get patted on ur back, SIMPLY

for walking in ur valued direction, and everytime u walk in ur valued direction.

The outcome is not the key. WOW. whether the thoughts r true or not is not imp.

Whether i actually reach my goal is not as imp. u c where i am getting at. sorry

i digress. Imagine if i tell my preschooler , honey i will give a gift for

everytime U TRY to get an A. Guess what? the burden of " getting an A " will be

lifted off his shoulder, hence all the IMMENSE anxiety/stress that goes with

striving to reach that goal inorder to be rewarded is not there, what's left,

just his passion, coz a huge weight is lifted off his shoulder. so he will keep

trying as he has nothing to lose. And guess what? the likelyhood of him getting

an A would be much higher. i dunno if eg. made any sense, but trust me in my

head it was TOTALLY making sense.

>

> Also because of ACT one can aspire to reach their wildest dreams, coz once

again , ur VICOTRY starts from when u start walking in ur valued directionion

and not just when u reach ur goal. Eg. right now, my wildest dream is to become

a psychotherapist. I would never even say this loud to myself b4 , let alone

post it on a group which has 100's of people. Coz i know my bg, and i'm a

fashion designer , hence artist at heart, and know as much about other subjects

as much a 8 yr old would , but luckily all these drawbacks don't pull me back

and i will be taking action towards this goal starting this fall, and i will be

content knowing that i am making committed action towards something i value.

>

> ACT i have found has also been so simple, that u can explain it to a 5 yr old

and he will get it instantly. Infact i do always use ACT on my 3 and 6 yr olds

while parenting them. My older one is a perfectionist and he can't handle not

being first, whether its stuides, sports anything, and beats himself up over it

and is unable to enjoy whatever he's engrossed in at that moment. So u can

already c howmuch ACT works here. Infact when my sis gives me parenting tips

from 100s of books she reads, i'm like " oh yeah, i know that, oh yeah i alreday

do that " and she's like " how the heck? but u don't even read " !!!...and basically

it's the same compasssion, without any judgement that i aplly on myself , i

do to my kid, and show him how to do it to himself. Infact i just thought of

another name for ACT...PACT- a pact that u make to urself to ALWAYS be loving

and compassion to urself and ur expereineces from this very moment onwards until

death.

>

> Lastly if u c the cartoons about ACT, we used to watch em at my therapy. Have

u noticed how absolutely simple they r...no hi-fi graphics, animation etc...no

person doing a matrix move trying to dodge neg. feelings and emotions, no kung

fu panda kick to rid the pain and anxiety, it's so simple, even my 3 yr old

would understand " the moral of the story " if he saw em. And that is what ACT

therapy is to me. So simple and easy that no one can come out of it saying " wait

a minute, what am i supposed to do when pain shows up again? run the list of

resucturing methods by me again plz "

>

> OMGoodness, i swear when i start to write, in my head i start off thinking, oh

just 4 lines of my input on this and i'm done, and it turns out to be a THESIS

ALL THE TIME!!

> i apolozise.

>

> Also i don't mean to put down anyone or their emails about CBT. this is SIMPLY

my percpective and i could be totally off, but this is how i interpret ACT and

it definately makes sense to me like this and gives me peace of mind. Also as u

can tell from my very simple form of writing, and basic vocabulary, everything i

have learnt does not come from the books, it's simply from how i grasped it at

the Therapy. However i am working on the books (at my own pace) and

> am proud to say that i am finally done with PART 1 of the happiness trap

....WOOOHOOOOO:-)

>

> wasalaam

>

>

>

> p.s. if my email had offended anyone i truly apologize. my intention as not

so.

>

[Guest guest]

I love what you said here, : "Also because of ACT one can aspire to reach their wildest dreams, coz once again , ur VICOTRY starts from when u start walking in ur valued directionion and not just when u reach ur goal. Eg. right now, my wildest dream is to become a psychotherapist. I would never even say this loud to myself b4 , let alone post it on a group which has 100's of people. Coz i know my bg, and i'm a fashion designer , hence artist at heart, and know as much about other subjects as much a 8 yr old would , but luckily all these drawbacks don't pull me back and i will be taking action towards this goal starting this fall, and i will be content knowing that i am making committed action towards something i value."

You will make a fine psychotherapist. Congratulations in taking action toward that goal!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 12:11:16 AMSubject: Why ACT ?

hi:-)i have tried to go through some of the emails about similarties and difference between ACT and CBT and the other one starting with an R (i can't remember) and i must confess after a few emails i was totally in the vocabulary and explanations. But that is perhaps coz i have a tough time comprehending when it's getz into too much detail.I have had around 8 months of CBT and i just wanted to mention y "for me" ACT worked out better.While there r similarities in ACT and CBT i agree, and the preivious emails did a great job in listing em, when i was doing CBT, i found myself getting lost with all the logical explanations and rationalizations behind CBT's thought processing. Also the readings i would get from my therapists, including how to restructure it using the CBT ’s 10 steps to thought records, it just required a lotta thinking "deep" + "remembering" .....for me when i was introduced to the ACT approach, it was as simple as 1+1=2For me, ACT is the MOST compassionate way, of dealing with ourselves. The theories behind Act teaches us complete, un-conditional love towards urselves, just like we would like the world to treat us with. The whole idea about the fact that it deson't really matter what ur thinking and feeling, whether is is true or not, how rational , logical it is or not, is irrelevant, what matters is u r still able to love urself, be compassionate towards ur exprecinces , and keep moving on, knowing that u STILL can, and that all this pain and suffering STILL does not havta dictate ur actions. I mean to me this is AMAZING!...we r being asked to love urselves just like a mother would love her baby, unconditionally.Anxities, depression, stress etc...all these come from us being too hard on ourselves. Letting go of all those self evaluluations and judgements that come from expreincing painful thoughts, emotions, feelings, IS liberating!...it literally feels like all these years , all the things that have caused me sooooo much anxiety/depression/grief, now all i am doing is SIMPLY seeing them in a completely diff. way, with compassion towards myself, hence am willing to expreince them with open arms.there is also one think that was a result of the mind-shift in me. and that was the mindfulness exercise "welcome anxiety, my old friend" ...if i got nothing out of this, but just ponder upon these few words, i will realize what it is that i am supposed to do. "welcome" , to me is embrace what u can't change, and realize that it is a "normal" emotion hence let go of even the desire to change it. "my old friend". while u fought all ur life with it, thinking it was ur biggest enemy, if only u saw it as "an old frined" u would realizze that u need not fight no more. I can now relax , and chanel that same energy to learning to EMBRACE it if and when it comes, just like u would an old friend. And if that old friend was inticially not the best personality, the fact that now u r welcoming him WITH love and compassion and open arms, his personality will (or might) start to change eventually (neg. mind chatter will start to quite down)lastly to me ACT is so simple, it is a therapy that even a layman like myself., who can't remember the last time i picked and read a book, can understand. So yeah, I GET ACT:-)forget all those words, defusion, psychological flexibilty, self as context, self as content, mindfulneess, etc etc....i have just started to read and understand these words in depth now. but even b4 that, just from the therapy i knew, or i felt i knew EVERYTHING I needed to know about ACT to make a life change. ACT is as simple as the 3 alphabets it is comprised of...ACCEPT ur self and all ur expereinces just the way they r, and COMMIT urself to moving forward despite the (preceived) obsticles.One more thing that attracted me to ACT is, well no i take that back, My Therapy in Chicago and my Therapist Joann attrcated me to act, but one more thing that i was facinated byis the VALUES piece. We live in a world that is so goal oriented. In the sense that the word "accomplishments" only comes in ur title when uu have achieved ur goals. This is where once again i feel like ACT shows us the most loving and compassionate way of being towards ourselves. U get patted on ur back, SIMPLY for walking in ur valued direction, and everytime u walk in ur valued direction. The outcome is not the key. WOW. whether the thoughts r true or not is not imp. Whether i actually reach my goal is not as imp. u c where i am getting at. sorry i digress. Imagine if i tell my preschooler , honey i will give a gift for everytime U TRY to get an A. Guess what? the burden of "getting an A" will be lifted off his shoulder, hence all the IMMENSE anxiety/stress that goes with striving to reach that goal inorder to be rewarded is not there, what's left, just his passion, coz a huge weight is lifted off his shoulder. so he will keep trying as he has nothing to lose. And guess what? the likelyhood of him getting an A would be much higher. i dunno if eg. made any sense, but trust me in my head it was TOTALLY making sense.Also because of ACT one can aspire to reach their wildest dreams, coz once again , ur VICOTRY starts from when u start walking in ur valued directionion and not just when u reach ur goal. Eg. right now, my wildest dream is to become a psychotherapist. I would never even say this loud to myself b4 , let alone post it on a group which has 100's of people. Coz i know my bg, and i'm a fashion designer , hence artist at heart, and know as much about other subjects as much a 8 yr old would , but luckily all these drawbacks don't pull me back and i will be taking action towards this goal starting this fall, and i will be content knowing that i am making committed action towards something i value.ACT i have found has also been so simple, that u can explain it to a 5 yr old and he will get it instantly. Infact i do always use ACT on my 3 and 6 yr olds while parenting them. My older one is a perfectionist and he can't handle not being first, whether its stuides, sports anything, and beats himself up over it and is unable to enjoy whatever he's engrossed in at that moment. So u can already c howmuch ACT works here. Infact when my sis gives me parenting tips from 100s of books she reads, i'm like "oh yeah, i know that, oh yeah i alreday do that" and she's like "how the heck? but u don't even read"!!!...and basically it's the same compasssion, without any judgement that i aplly on myself , i do to my kid, and show him how to do it to himself. Infact i just thought of another name for ACT...PACT- a pact that u make to urself to ALWAYS be loving and compassion to urself and ur expereineces from this very moment onwards until death.Lastly if u c the cartoons about ACT, we used to watch em at my therapy. Have u noticed how absolutely simple they r...no hi-fi graphics, animation etc...no person doing a matrix move trying to dodge neg. feelings and emotions, no kung fu panda kick to rid the pain and anxiety, it's so simple, even my 3 yr old would understand "the moral of the story" if he saw em. And that is what ACT therapy is to me. So simple and easy that no one can come out of it saying "wait a minute, what am i supposed to do when pain shows up again? run the list of resucturing methods by me again plz"OMGoodness, i swear when i start to write, in my head i start off thinking, oh just 4 lines of my input on this and i'm done, and it turns out to be a THESIS ALL THE TIME!!i apolozise.Also i don't mean to put down anyone or their emails about CBT. this is SIMPLY my percpective and i could be totally off, but this is how i interpret ACT and it definately makes sense to me like this and gives me peace of mind. Also as u can tell from my very simple form of writing, and basic vocabulary, everything i have learnt does not come from the books, it's simply from how i grasped it at the Therapy. However i am working on the books (at my own pace) andam proud to say that i am finally done with PART 1 of the happiness trap ...WOOOHOOOOO:-)wasalaamp.s. if my email had offended anyone i truly apologize. my intention as not so.

[Guest guest]

I also have gotten so much from this post.  ACT is simple, but it helps to be reminded so my brain doesn't try to complicate things1Thanks!Barbara

 

I love what you said here, :  " Also because of ACT one can aspire to reach their wildest dreams, coz once again , ur VICOTRY starts from when u start walking in ur valued directionion and not just when u reach ur goal. Eg. right now, my wildest dream is to become a psychotherapist. I would never even say this loud to myself b4 , let alone post it on a group which has 100's of people. Coz i know my bg, and i'm a fashion designer , hence artist at heart, and know as much about other subjects as much a 8 yr old would , but luckily all these drawbacks don't pull me back and i will be taking action towards this goal starting this fall, and i will be content knowing that i am making committed action towards something i value. "

 

You will make a fine psychotherapist.  Congratulations in taking action toward that goal!

 

Helena

To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 12:11:16 AMSubject: Why ACT ?

 

hi:-)i have tried to go through some of the emails about similarties and difference between ACT and CBT and the other one starting with an R (i can't remember) and i must confess after a few emails i was totally in the vocabulary and explanations. But that is perhaps coz i have a tough time comprehending when it's getz into too much detail.

I have had around 8 months of CBT and i just wanted to mention y " for me " ACT worked out better.While there r similarities in ACT and CBT i agree, and the preivious emails did a great job in listing em, when i was doing CBT, i found myself getting lost with all the logical explanations and rationalizations behind CBT's thought processing. Also the readings i would get from my therapists, including how to restructure it using the CBT ’s 10 steps to thought records, it just required a lotta thinking " deep " + " remembering " .....for me when i was introduced to the ACT approach, it was as simple as 1+1=2

For me, ACT is the MOST compassionate way, of dealing with ourselves. The theories behind Act teaches us complete, un-conditional love towards urselves, just like we would like the world to treat us with. The whole idea about the fact that it deson't really matter what ur thinking and feeling, whether is is true or not, how rational , logical it is or not, is irrelevant, what matters is u r still able to love urself, be compassionate towards ur exprecinces , and keep moving on, knowing that u STILL can, and that all this pain and suffering STILL does not havta dictate ur actions. I mean to me this is AMAZING!...we r being asked to love urselves just like a mother would love her baby, unconditionally.

Anxities, depression, stress etc...all these come from us being too hard on ourselves. Letting go of all those self evaluluations and judgements that come from expreincing painful thoughts, emotions, feelings, IS liberating!...it literally feels like all these years , all the things that have caused me sooooo much anxiety/depression/grief, now all i am doing is SIMPLY seeing them in a completely diff. way, with compassion towards myself, hence am willing to expreince them with open arms.

there is also one think that was a result of the mind-shift in me. and that was the mindfulness exercise " welcome anxiety, my old friend " ...if i got nothing out of this, but just ponder upon these few words, i will realize what it is that i am supposed to do. " welcome " , to me is embrace what u can't change, and realize that it is a " normal " emotion hence let go of even the desire to change it. " my old friend " . while u fought all ur life with it, thinking it was ur biggest enemy, if only u saw it as " an old frined " u would realizze that u need not fight no more. I can now relax , and chanel that same energy to learning to EMBRACE it if and when it comes, just like u would an old friend. And if that old friend was inticially not the best personality, the fact that now u r welcoming him WITH love and compassion and open arms, his personality will (or might) start to change eventually (neg. mind chatter will start to quite down)

lastly to me ACT is so simple, it is a therapy that even a layman like myself., who can't remember the last time i picked and read a book, can understand. So yeah, I GET ACT:-)forget all those words, defusion, psychological flexibilty, self as context, self as content, mindfulneess, etc etc....i have just started to read and understand these words in depth now. but even b4 that, just from the therapy i knew, or i felt i knew EVERYTHING I needed to know about ACT to make a life change. ACT is as simple as the 3 alphabets it is comprised of...ACCEPT ur self and all ur expereinces just the way they r, and COMMIT urself to moving forward despite the (preceived) obsticles.

One more thing that attracted me to ACT is, well no i take that back, My Therapy in Chicago and my Therapist Joann attrcated me to act, but one more thing that i was facinated byis the VALUES piece. We live in a world that is so goal oriented. In the sense that the word " accomplishments " only comes in ur title when uu have achieved ur goals. This is where once again i feel like ACT shows us the most loving and compassionate way of being towards ourselves. U get patted on ur back, SIMPLY for walking in ur valued direction, and everytime u walk in ur valued direction. The outcome is not the key. WOW. whether the thoughts r true or not is not imp. Whether i actually reach my goal is not as imp. u c where i am getting at. sorry i digress. Imagine if i tell my preschooler , honey i will give a gift for everytime U TRY to get an A. Guess what? the burden of " getting an A " will be lifted off his shoulder, hence all the IMMENSE anxiety/stress that goes with striving to reach that goal inorder to be rewarded is not there, what's left, just his passion, coz a huge weight is lifted off his shoulder. so he will keep trying as he has nothing to lose. And guess what? the likelyhood of him getting an A would be much higher. i dunno if eg. made any sense, but trust me in my head it was TOTALLY making sense.

Also because of ACT one can aspire to reach their wildest dreams, coz once again , ur VICOTRY starts from when u start walking in ur valued directionion and not just when u reach ur goal. Eg. right now, my wildest dream is to become a psychotherapist. I would never even say this loud to myself b4 , let alone post it on a group which has 100's of people. Coz i know my bg, and i'm a fashion designer , hence artist at heart, and know as much about other subjects as much a 8 yr old would , but luckily all these drawbacks don't pull me back and i will be taking action towards this goal starting this fall, and i will be content knowing that i am making committed action towards something i value.

ACT i have found has also been so simple, that u can explain it to a 5 yr old and he will get it instantly. Infact i do always use ACT on my 3 and 6 yr olds while parenting them. My older one is a perfectionist and he can't handle not being first, whether its stuides, sports anything, and beats himself up over it and is unable to enjoy whatever he's engrossed in at that moment. So u can already c howmuch ACT works here. Infact when my sis gives me parenting tips from 100s of books she reads, i'm like " oh yeah, i know that, oh yeah i alreday do that " and she's like " how the heck? but u don't even read " !!!...and basically it's the same compasssion, without any judgement that i aplly on myself , i do to my kid, and show him how to do it to himself. Infact i just thought of another name for ACT...PACT- a pact that u make to urself to ALWAYS be loving and compassion to urself and ur expereineces from this very moment onwards until death.

Lastly if u c the cartoons about ACT, we used to watch em at my therapy. Have u noticed how absolutely simple they r...no hi-fi graphics, animation etc...no person doing a matrix move trying to dodge neg. feelings and emotions, no kung fu panda kick to rid the pain and anxiety, it's so simple, even my 3 yr old would understand " the moral of the story " if he saw em. And that is what ACT therapy is to me. So simple and easy that no one can come out of it saying " wait a minute, what am i supposed to do when pain shows up again? run the list of resucturing methods by me again plz "

OMGoodness, i swear when i start to write, in my head i start off thinking, oh just 4 lines of my input on this and i'm done, and it turns out to be a THESIS ALL THE TIME!!i apolozise.Also i don't mean to put down anyone or their emails about CBT. this is SIMPLY my percpective and i could be totally off, but this is how i interpret ACT and it definately makes sense to me like this and gives me peace of mind. Also as u can tell from my very simple form of writing, and basic vocabulary, everything i have learnt does not come from the books, it's simply from how i grasped it at the Therapy. However i am working on the books (at my own pace) and

am proud to say that i am finally done with PART 1 of the happiness trap ...WOOOHOOOOO:-)wasalaamp.s. if my email had offended anyone i truly apologize. my intention as not so.

-- Barbara White, MFTMarriage and Family Therapistbarbarawhitetherapy.com