Re: Is This An ACT Approach to Rumination, Racing and Repetitive Thoughts?

[Guest guest]

Like most worthwhile things in life, ACT is a collection of skills that need

conscious effort to master before they become ingrained and automatic.

ACT is like learning to drive a car. At first you are conscious of everything

you do, but after a while it becomes unconscious, and you do it pretty much

without thinking.

Before I retired last year, I used to write computer programs and create

databases. Learning how to do this involved a lot of effort at first. I had to

learn how to break a problem down into simpler, more manageable parts. It took a

few years, but it became almost automatic. Given a project, I was able to break

it down into easy, doable steps.

Since then, I've found that I've been able to carry the analytical skills I

learned into every day life. They have helped me to work out the goals I want to

do to honour my values and break them down into a series of step-by-step

actions.

As Jim says, keep at it. Given time and patience, ACT will become easier, and

something you can do with almost no effort. It will always be a challenge, but

an exciting and rewarding one.

BTW, over they years, I've realised that a lot of what I think is junk, most of

which can be ignored. They're unwanted guests, and the best thing is to simply

ignore them. Arguing with them only makes them (and me) upset. They may not go

away, but they can't stop you doing what you want to do.

Cheers,

Stan

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Hello Friends,

> >

> > I would like to ask you for advice and ideas on how to deal with

> > rumination, racing thoughts, repetitive thoughts.

> >

> > I find that I spend lots and lots of time ruminating about social

> > encounters, both in the past and in the future. I will spend like 20 minutes

> > coming up with strategies and having mock arguments or conversations. After

> > awkward or even pleasant social encounters, I will run over whether I said

> > anything wrong or anything smart etc. This is not intentional so much as it

> > is ingrained, old, habitual; it has the quality of thoughts racing through

> > my head and popping up unbidden, unwanted. Often I discover things that are

> > very embarassing or shameful or something which really upsets me about the

> > other person. I'm always trying to find out if the other person thinks I'm

> > weird or a jerk, for example.

> >

> > My feeling is that the time dedicated to this thinking is a waste, and that

> > the thinking actually leads to social problems like engaging in behaviors

> > that generate rejection, building up grudges against others (to protect

> > against rejection, get even with them).

> >

> > I'd like to do less of it. I have been trying to use defusion techniques

> > with thoughts as they come up. I don't try to distract myself from them. But

> > I definitely have this attitude of: " I don't want these thoughts but I have

> > them. I am not going to follow them where they want to lead me, but I'll

> > have them. "

> >

> > Also, when I feel shame or disappointment of some sort, I am trying to feel

> > it fully and have it, and notice how my thoughts that come at me are trying

> > to cure this feeling.

> >

> > It's sort of a paradox. The ostensible goal of my racing thoughts is to

> > seek out and protect me from rejection so I can be a good friend or

> > conersational partner. My ACT work in this area involves me spending less

> > time protecting myself in this way so that I can spend more time with others

> > and build relationships. And yet, in another paradox, I'd like to have fewer

> > thoughts about social encounters to achieve this ACT goal. Maybe another way

> > to look at it is that I'd like to not buy into these thoughts that I have?

> >

> >

> > Am I digging a hole or getting out of a hole? I'd appreciate your ideas and

> > thoughts.

> >

> > O

> >

> >

> >

>