Thanks - and specific replies

[Guest guest]

Thanks & Helena for your emails (and of the others to my

questions)

Specifically to -

I don't think I've seen any plan for

action. Can I push you a bit into taking some?

I have been actively doing things to make friends for over 10 years

and I know the types of things that should be done. I've organsied

community groups, I 'own'/run a few online email groups, I've

attended support groups over the years, I've been active in meeting

neighbours and various businesses in the area, attending community

events etc. Hey, I even organised - on my own - the 25 year

primary school reunion and 20 year high school reunion. What I've

done has been complemented by a psychologist I saw about my sadness

in this area. So this isn't an issue. Even last week I was

calling the local community centre about something. So I don't need

steps as such but just do something if the opportunity arises but

don't worry about it.

Specifically to Helena

Iolanda, what IS

your style of thinking? Can you define what you mean by

that?

I'm at a risk of missing out on saying some things here and saying

them the wrong way (sorry, but I've also got 'word retrieval'

problems sometimes) I'll just give examples which is easier for me

........

I tried the 3rd defusion method (I'm having a thought that ....)

and I'm sure I said it differently than in the book because I just

said it while I was in bed and didn't remember the right way to say

it ........

But when I tried it for loneliness what happened was that I started

to think more about the loneliness and get much more unhappy with

the word and why I was saying it. So just saying the word itself

made me unhappy

Plus the whole "scientific" way of wording it is so against my

thinking and it makes me somehow more conscious that I'm using those

words etc because of a problem etc etc. then that makes me feel

bad in itself.

So the 2 reasons above then act as a "reminder" of why I'm using the

strange-sounding technique ..... because I've got a loss of

something that means something to me. If there was a way to

handle it without making it so much of a "reminder" then I know it

would be easier for me to handle. And the first defusion technique

doesn't leave the "reminder" there.

I'm just sending the above in reply to the 2 emails that people took

the trouble to send recently. I'm pretty "sensitive" at the moment

about getting "told off" by anybody in the group so please be

gentle if you're going to say something. If you feel like telling

me I'm stupid or I have the wrong priorities etc then please don't

send the email ........

Thanks

iolanda