Guest guest Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 I hear you. I've been beside you here on this forum for a long time. I know that if we had an ACT_for_the_Public reunion, you would be one of the first persons I would want to hug - because you've shared your story here so openly and honestly and I can identify with it - and you - so strongly. Hang in there, my friend. Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, October 28, 2011 2:45:04 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories Bruce, have you ever met a "normal person?" LOL! I wonder what one looks like. I know the question is facetious and that everyone has their quirks and struggles. But I guess I do consider a lot of people normal. People who can get out of bed feeling OK and go about their day. People who can enjoy watching a movie or sporting event or reading a book (that's not about emotional recovery). People who can get positively excited about something or have a hobby or cause that occupies them. I'd like to be a person who can say I used to be depressed and mean it. "Why can't I just move on?" you ask. I think you are moving on and just don't recognize it, or it doesn't look like you want it to look. Maybe what you're really asking is "Why isn't the pain and discomfort gone?" Even sitting on your hands is a form of moving on, you know. And please don't judge yourself for having too many sitting-on-your-hands days. You could be doing a lot worse than that.Yes, things could be much worse. My life situation is not bad. I guess I feel like too many sitting on my hands days adds up to an unvalued life. Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, October 28, 2011 1:24:14 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories I can relate to this. I feel like I'm living on the outside of me looking in, rather than living authentically from the inside out. All of my responses are run through a filter of judgement. I guess sometimes that's not bad but it also makes life very hard work. I've also been working in therapy with early experiences. I'm working with the idea now of being afraid that I'm going to live my father's life. He had some severe emotional struggles later in life and I think I'm afraid I'm condemned to the same. This really terrifies me and makes me shut down in fear. I don't seem to be able to just accept that my life is very different, and I'm a very different person, and just move on. That's a big question for me. Why can't I just move on? I seem to have no ability to heal from my traumas as normal people do. I'm afraid today is going to be one of 's "sit on my hands" days, of which I have far too many. Bruce I recently saw a word that seems to describe pretty much where some of us are at: anomie, or something very much like it. For me, I sometimes think I'm leading someone else's life - there's no authentic "me" anywhere to be seen.I've worked this out as being the result of having to hide or disguise my true feelings in situations where I felt the threat of annihilation - antecedents that connect my present self to a very much younger self, anywhere from toddlerhood to pubescence. Looking back at those years, I've realized that to a great extent, that younger self had to be parent to the parents, or suffer the consequences.As I'm (slowly) learning in therapy, that younger self is still present and reacting to present circumstances as though I am still the little guy with an extremely attenuated repertoire of responses to threats perceived as life-threatening. I don't know if or when this will change. I can only do what I can, stories in the literature of wonderful recoveries notwithstanding.For now, at least, I am willing to continue, even if it's only with the aide afforded by various substances.In a nutshell, my day-to-day experience isn't all bad. Perhaps there's a clue there.Regards,Detlef > > >> > > Hi Everyone:> > >> > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could> > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use> > > some inspiration and hope.> > >> > > Thanks,> > > Bruce> > >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 Normal is a movable feast, or so I've found.I wake up and check the clock. If it's an early parameter, I feel better than if it's later parameter. The benchmark seems to be noon at present.Really, I doubt many folks get up feeling "OK". I think they just get on with it, and push contrary thoughts to the back of their minds. I think it's called "keeping busy" - a nifty avoidance technique.Yes, I think most people are totally fucked up. The state of the planet seems to verify that summation.My words are down because that's what I perceive and feel. ACT is no panacea, but it may be a help to a great many.Only time will tell.Cheers,Detlef> > > > >> > > > > Hi Everyone:> > > > >> > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they > > could> > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really > > use> > > > > some inspiration and hope.> > > > >> > > > > Thanks,> > > > > Bruce> > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> >> >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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