new to the group

October 25, 2000

,

it would be nice if you would share with us the strategy that worked

to effect a cure for you. that is what all of us are looking for.

10/25 9:37a >>>

March 12, 2001

Have a diabetic son....not a husband....but a family member none the less.

Happy to talk on line

n

March 12, 2001

Hi,

I'm a T2 diabetic with excellent control with diet and exercise (no DM meds)

married toa T2 DMer (dxed about 14 - 15 years ago). For many years, he had a

dr that allowed him to be satisfied with bg levels higher than mine were at

dx. He also has a history of other multiple physical problems. I could tell

with just a few words of conversation how high his bg levels were. He was not

aware of how his mood swings affected other family members. He was given some

standard DM info and had a few visits with a dietition who treated him as

" just another diabetic " . After years of inadequate DM control, he changed

drs and started an insulin regime to help him maintain leveler bgs. This is

what made the difference.

In my opinion, the DM's affect on a family depends upon the level of bg

control. What type of diet does your husband eat now? Has he read

Bernstein's Diabetic Solutions? Is he happy with his level of coantrol? Are

you?

I'll be glad to correspond through the group list or you can e-mail me

privately.

Carol T

In a message dated 3/12/01 10:00:34 AM Pacific Standard Time,

athensforever@... writes:

> I am a wife of

> a diabetic (type 1) and would like to hear from other

> women whose husband's are diabetics. I feel I need to

> know that there are others who are out there sharing

> the same with me. I believe that diabetics need moral

> support but so do the rest of their family. Thank you

> to all who will take their time and respond to me

March 12, 2001

Hi, Magda. There are a few wives of diabetics here, as well as one mom of

an 11 year old. You will find plenty of support.

Welcome,

Barb, Moderator

--------

New to the group

> Hi. I am new to this group and have been reading some

> of the information others have written. I am a wife of

> a diabetic (type 1) and would like to hear from other

> women whose husband's are diabetics. I feel I need to

> know that there are others who are out there sharing

> the same with me. I believe that diabetics need moral

> support but so do the rest of their family. Thank you

> to all who will take their time and respond to me

>

> __________________________________________________

>

March 12, 2001

Hi Magda!

Welcome to the group! My husband and I are also new to the group since he was

just diagnosed with type 1 on February 16th. Right now we are in the stage

where we are trying to learn all we can and make the necessary adjustments. It

is a lot to get used to and I'm so thankful that we don't have to wake up at 3am

every night to test his glucose levels anymore like we did when he first started

insuliln. I agree with you that diabetes does affect the whole family. I

am trying to be as supportive to my husband as I can and try to be

understanding/encouraging (which ever he needs at the time) when he is

frustrated. I have taken it upon myself to learn all I can about nutrition so

that I can provide good meals, snacks, etc for him. We are together all the

time since we are overseas right now (he plays basketball) so he has asked me to

make all the food decisions, especially as we get started.

I am also realizing lately that when he gets lows or before meals when he is

hungry/pretty low, he is " irritable " , which was difficult at first because he is

never that way. Those are times when I need to be strong and get him what he

needs and fast. Also, praying and singing a song in my heart has helped

wonders!

Have a great day...enjoying each and every blessing. Feel free to email me

privately if you want...lgorauskas@...

~Kim in Portugal........(wife to Leo, type 1)

I am a wife of

a diabetic (type 1) and would like to hear from other

women whose husband's are diabetics.

__________________________________________________

March 12, 2001

Hi Carol,

Thanks for writing me. First of all I believe type 1

differs from type 2 qite a bit. I think it is harder

to control in the sense that he has to have

carbs(enough) not to go low and not too many to go

high. To my understanding of type one you have to

avoid carbs as much as you can. Correct me if I am

wrong. This is all new to me. In my opinion He is not

in good control. I don't ask what his sugar reading

are because he gets upset with me. If you can give me

some advice on how I can help him.

--- cprcarol@... wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I'm a T2 diabetic with excellent control with diet

> and exercise (no DM meds)

> married toa T2 DMer (dxed about 14 - 15 years ago).

> For many years, he had a

> dr that allowed him to be satisfied with bg levels

> higher than mine were at

> dx. He also has a history of other multiple

> physical problems. I could tell

> with just a few words of conversation how high his

> bg levels were. He was not

> aware of how his mood swings affected other family

> members. He was given some

> standard DM info and had a few visits with a

> dietition who treated him as

> " just another diabetic " . After years of inadequate

> DM control, he changed

> drs and started an insulin regime to help him

> maintain leveler bgs. This is

> what made the difference.

>

> In my opinion, the DM's affect on a family depends

> upon the level of bg

> control. What type of diet does your husband eat

> now? Has he read

> Bernstein's Diabetic Solutions? Is he happy with

> his level of coantrol? Are

> you?

>

> I'll be glad to correspond through the group list or

> you can e-mail me

> privately.

>

> Carol T

>

> In a message dated 3/12/01 10:00:34 AM Pacific

> Standard Time,

> athensforever@... writes:

>

> > I am a wife of

> > a diabetic (type 1) and would like to hear from

> other

> > women whose husband's are diabetics. I feel I

> need to

> > know that there are others who are out there

> sharing

> > the same with me. I believe that diabetics need

> moral

> > support but so do the rest of their family. Thank

> you

> > to all who will take their time and respond to me

>

__________________________________________________

March 13, 2001

In a message dated 01-03-13 07:41:14 EST, you write:

<< First of all I believe type 1 differs from type 2 qite a bit. I think it

is harder

to control in the sense that he has to have carbs(enough) not to go low and

not too many to go high. To my understanding of type one you have to avoid

carbs as much as you can. Correct me if I am wrong. This is all new to me. In

my opinion >>

There are many ways to control diabetes; low carbing is only one of them (but

the best, IMHO). . If your husband is a type 1 or a type 2 and using

insulin, the advantage of eating low carb is that, using the system that

matches carbs to insulin, (using fast acting H) less insulin is obviously

needed. I use this system myself and, being a type 1 and low carbing, rarely

need more than 5 units per meal. Of course, everyone is different...as we

say here, YMMV. If he gets angry when you bring it up, can you get him to

read Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solutions by K. Bernstein, M.D., or

check out Dr. Bernstein's website at least? URL is

www.diabetes-normalsugars.com/

He can be angry - that's a normal reaction to new diagnosis, along with

depression -- but if he ignores his diabetes longterm this can cause real

problems - neuropathy, heart disease, kidney disease, peripheral neuropathy

with subsequent limb amputation, blindness, even death. So I hope he can

somehow get on the right track and soon. Vicki

March 13, 2001

Hi

First, to help you understand what DM T1 is all about, read Diabatese

Solutions. Dr Bernstein is a T1 and explains EVERYTHING clearly.

Secondly, your husband has to feel that he wants to change or improve his DM

control. With my husband, I commented that I learned that tighter control

prevents complications and listed the complications that HE would be most

concerned about. Within a month, he found a different dr that would work

with him.

Has his control worsened lately or is he about the same as he has been?

My " sneaky " way of helping my husband make positive changes is:

I'll find a nice conversational time (during a relaxing meal or during a car

ride) and mention that I just read an interesting article about............ I

always try to hit upon a point that I know will grab his attention. I'll

offer to read quotes or get more info At His Request. All decisions

regarding his health must be made by him. I just plant the seed.

He also is involved in meal planning and has experimented to see how

different foods affect his bg levels. We control our DMs differently. At

times, we eat differently.

Carol T

In a message dated 3/13/01 4:41:03 AM Pacific Standard Time,

athensforever@... writes:

> Thanks for writing me. First of all I believe type 1

> differs from type 2 qite a bit. I think it is harder

> to control in the sense that he has to have

> carbs(enough) not to go low and not too many to go

> high. To my understanding of type one you have to

> avoid carbs as much as you can. Correct me if I am

> wrong. This is all new to me. In my opinion He is not

> in good control. I don't ask what his sugar reading

> are because he gets upset with me. If you can give me

> some advice

April 6, 2002

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Thanks, Kim

April 6, 2002

Welcome to the group Kim. You are feeling all the things most of us go through.

Completely expected. I'm sure you will get many responses to your questions.

You've come to the right place.......Betty S in TX

" kimaroo1 " wrote:

>Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

>April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

>eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

>to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

>mental picture keeps me on the path.

>

>Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

>before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

>I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

>places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

>sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

>

>Thanks, Kim

>

--

Learning from your mistakes makes you smart.

Learning from other's mistakes makes you smarter.

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April 6, 2002

Welcome Kim....

You'll eventually find your own way to deal with frightening situations, as

I'm sure you've done in the past. Some women have said (to me) that

childbirth was a much more frightening prospect than the surgery ever was!

In my case, I've always been able to tell myself, I mean REALLY convince my

own mind, that whatever discomforts I'm facing at the moment will be in the

past soon enough....I guess you can say that I keep my mental eyes on the

future. I know, it SOUNDS a lot easier than it really is, but I guess its

just a mental discipline that I've learned over the years. Most folks, and

I'm sure your included, have the ability to look beyond the fear.

It would be unrealistic of me to say something like " just keep your mind

occupied with something else " because we all know that we will dwell on

things to some extent. It sounds though, that you are doing the right thing

by focusing on your studies. If you have a hobby you enjoy or have been

wanting to look into, perhaps now is a good time to do it. What about

family and friends? Why spend the next couple of weeks alone? Spend a lot

of time with them....but only if they are supportive and don't force you to

dwell on the upcoming events.

Oh....and did I mention that the Morphine epidural is pretty cool stuff?!!

Hehehe

Good luck Kim...I know you'll do just fine!

Jim Grimes

Salinas, CA.

Open RNY 11/27/01

441 / 320

So have you seen our website at http://www.jimandkelli.com/ ?

new to the group

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Thanks, Kim

To Subscribe to 's weekly FREE Newsletter send an email to

GBCookbook-subscribe@...

April 6, 2002

Hi Kim!

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery. I also went through a period of being

nervous and anxious and not able to sleep right before surgery - my own version

of lions and tigers and bears, oh my. I got through by keeping busy with

preparations for the surgery and taking care of little things that needed done

around the house. Then suddenly before I realized it my surgery date was here.

Amy

April 6, 2002

Dear Kim

Welcome to the warmest and most loving group online.. You are amongst many

sisters, a few brothers, and a Mom and Dad.. Ask questions, share concerns,

and make yourself at home..

I am looking forward to getting to know you better.

Hugs,

in GA

open RNY 12/12/00

revision 04/18/01

revision 02/07/02

sw392

cw 217

-175

5'6

l

April 7, 2002

Hello Kim - Welcome to the group. That's the $64,000 question, how to stay

calm before surgery. I just had my consult and I asked my surgeon for some

anti-anxiety meds for those pre-surgery days. I'm sure they will come in handy.

If you are very busy, though, these might not work for you, as they will make

you sleepy. Maybe just at bedtime would work for you. Have you taken anything

else to try and sleep? Something like Tylenol PM which had benadryl in it or

Nytol? Just keep coming to us, and we'll do our best to keep you centered if

not calm. Keep focusing on the positives, and distract yourself from the

negatives. Good luck.

Jeanne in WI

new to the group

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Thanks, Kim

April 7, 2002

Hi Kim and welcome to the group. I have found alot of great info and support

here. I don't know what I would have done pre-op without the support of the gals

here. So many have such a wealth of information and can offer good guidance. I

had my surgery in Feb. and i'm doing great now. I remember the nervous/scared

emotions. I think it is pretty normal. I not only did this for myself but also

for my son. Being a single mom made it a hard decision for me because I kept

thinking " what if " ......with alot of soul searching and prayers I found the

" comfort " that I needed to be brave and move forward. I must say now.......I am

so glad that I had it done, it is for sure making a great change in my life. I

am now down 47 lbs and feeling sooooooooo much better! I wish you the best on

your journey......Annee

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Thanks, Kim

April 7, 2002

Hi Kim,

Welcome to the group! I know what you mean, although it's the eyes of my

two granddaughters. I am 8 days post-op and doing well.

Feel free to share your ups and downs. You will get the support you need

here.

in California

Open RNY Surgery - 03/29/02

new to the group

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

April 8, 2002

Hi Kim and welcome and I did the same thing girl as long as I was busy great and

then a week before surgery it got ruff and I had all kinds of thought and so I

started to pray and kept praying until I would fall asleep and it is all that

got me thru .

PS remember we are here for you even if I am behind

new to the group

Hello, everyone! I am new to the group and my RNY is scheduled for

April 23rd. I am excited, nervous and scared, but I look into the

eyes of my two young children and know this is the right thing for me

to do. I will be frolicking with them in no time at all, and that

mental picture keeps me on the path.

Does anyone have any tricks for keeping calm and relaxed in the days

before surgery? I've been staying up late at night working on courses

I'm taking, and I find that once I'm all alone, my brain starts to go

places I don't really want it to go, and then I get nervous and can't

sleep. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Thanks, Kim

To Subscribe to 's weekly FREE Newsletter send an email to

GBCookbook-subscribe@...

September 16, 2002

Welscome to the group, Lori!

-:|:-

----- Original Message -----

From: " Greyhounds4me "

Hi everyone. My name is Lori. I'm on a couple of other WW groups so some of

you may recognize me....hi Kay! I'm a veteran Weight Watcher drop out so I

could really relate to Christy's post about not wanting to mention to anyone

that I'm on yet another diet. I tried Atkins for about 3 weeks and drove them

all crazy talking about it. Then I switched to Somersize and did the same

thing. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know WW's works. Why do I think

there's a magic diet out there that's going to be any better? Well, I know that

there isn't cause I've tried them all. This is it. Time to get serious and

stop looking for an easy fix. I know what to do and by golly I'm going to do

it! Who's with me!!

Lori and the Kids

Sarasota, FL

Dalton - Boy Kid

Andele - Dog Fur Kid

Tara - Cat Fur Kid

206/202/130 - 4 pounds

OP since 9/14/02

September 17, 2002

Thanks Jen.

Lori and the Kids

Sarasota, FL

Dalton - Boy Kid

Andele - Dog Fur Kid

Tara - Cat Fur Kid

206/202/130 - 4 pounds

OP since 9/14/02

September 17, 2002

Arent you on the recipes board too Hi!

Charity

----- OrDidiginal Message -----

From: Greyhounds4me

To: Serious-Weight-Watchers

Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 8:33 PM

Subject: Re: New to the group

Thanks Jen.

Lori and the Kids

Sarasota, FL

Dalton - Boy Kid

Andele - Dog Fur Kid

Tara - Cat Fur Kid

206/202/130 - 4 pounds

OP since 9/14/02

September 17, 2002

Yes, I've joined 4 groups plus I'm on a greyhound list. Tonight I came home to

over 200 emails. What was I thinking!

Lori and the Kids

Sarasota, FL

Dalton - Boy Kid

Andele - Dog Fur Kid

Tara - Cat Fur Kid

206/202/130 - 4 pounds

OP since 9/14/02

September 17, 2002

Ah, all of the wonderful support emails. I love it. Im a sahm though, so I like

reading them all. Hope to talk again soon,

Charity

212/171/115

Re: New to the group

Yes, I've joined 4 groups plus I'm on a greyhound list. Tonight I came home

to over 200 emails. What was I thinking!

Lori and the Kids

Sarasota, FL

Dalton - Boy Kid

Andele - Dog Fur Kid

Tara - Cat Fur Kid

206/202/130 - 4 pounds

OP since 9/14/02

September 17, 2002

Ha ha! I know what you mean, Lori! For a while I was on a bunch of weight

watching lists; then it got to be too much, distracting me from my real purpose.

So I got off all of them except Serious-Weight-Watchers -- 'cause this is the

best! :-) We each have to do what works for us, of course!

-:|:-

----- Original Message -----

From: " Greyhounds4me "

Yes, I've joined 4 groups plus I'm on a greyhound list. Tonight I came home to

over 200 emails. What was I thinking!

Lori

February 10, 2008

Hi ,

As the saying goes here, happy you're here but sorry you qualify. My

two cents on this is that I've found it easier to not have contact at

all, rather than repeatedly defending reasonable boundaries, as trying

to defend them is met with that same sick feeling you describe. For

me, it's kind of like those sick feelings I'd get growing up when I

knew my mom was completely off base but I couldn't do anything about

it. It's like a repeated bad memory. Right now I'm trying to get

stronger, and it's easier to do that when someone isn't trying to drag

me back down.

>

> Hello,

>

> My name is . I am new to this group. In fact I've never

> belonged to an online group before. This is my first message. I

> found out about this group through research my fiancee had done. She

> had posted some messages about my mom who we believe had BPD. People

> wrote interesting feedback and urged me to join. So here I am. I am

> so relieved to know that there is a name for how my mom has been my

> life and that there is a group that I can talk to. I thought that I

> was alone in this. However, I still feel scared. I am trying to draw

> boundaries but I have a sick feeling from doing so. I know it is

> theoretically supposed to be better but I am still scared. Can

> anybody share their thoughts with me. Does it ever get easier to deal

> with?

>

February 10, 2008

: " Does it get easier? " I'm very new to actually facing issues with my

mom, but I would say since I started facing some things, my life has become

so much better. However, I've also said to friends " 2007 [the year I started to

deal w/ some issues] was AWFUL. " But it was only " awful " in that I was finally

facing my fears & standing up to my mother and admitting to myself the pain she

caused/causes me.

That said, because I've become more in-tuned with MY needs instead of HER needs,

I am a much better individual. I've taken up new hobbies, am more physically

fit, and am having FUN for the first time in a long time.

So, I would say that it gets easier not because your mother will change but

because YOU change -- and you begin to realize that sacrificing yourself is sooo

not worth it. We only have this life....we have to live it, you know?

As for your upcoming marriage -- part of the reason I started to face my issues

was because my partner and I are thinking about getting married. Thinking about

making that commitment made me realize that 1) I need to face some childhood

issues in order to be a better partner; and 2) I want to " get rid " of my old

habits with my mother before starting my own family. I refuse to let my mother

invade the family I've worked hard to create.

-Dylan

Re: New to the Group