Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Goals, values, is there a difference? Can it be a goal to build one's life according to one's values? And a value to be pursuing one's goals? Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 A value can't be something you can complete. You can cross off having a mate so it would be a goal. Goals, values, is there a difference? Can it be a goal to build one's life according to one's values? And a value to be pursuing one's goals? Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 I don't think its love, I think love is not something that can be addictive. Anything that entails an addiction, that is, you need it and it makes you high and then low, is not really something that you would value. I think you have a mix up. You do value having a meaningful relationship with someone, but then you get caught up in the adrenaline pursuit and go for all or nothings feelings, going high up where everything is focused on these feelings and the world fades to grey, and then hurtling down to reality, where you quickly have to look for the next quick fix (man) to give you again those sensations. I think you need to steer you boat in a different direction, and go down a more slow paced, balanced path. I say this as someone who has pursued adrenaline and highs in the past, and it brought nothing but misery to me. Even when I was on the high, everything I valued lost importance, and then on top the low is awful. I would take yourself slowly and meditate on it all, maybe dedicate some time to working with exercises that elicit values, and thinking truly what do you want from another person Tread gently XXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 15/8/11, Philip Dawson escribió:De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Re: Love addiction?Para: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 15 de agosto, 2011 00:24 A value can't be something you can complete. You can cross off having a mate so it would be a goal. Goals, values, is there a difference? Can it be a goal to build one's life according to one's values? And a value to be pursuing one's goals? Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Yes. A value provides direction, while a goal is a waypoint to reach. To go east is analogous to a value, while reaching the sea might be a goal supporting the value.To be the best possible spouse might be a value, while finding a mate would be a goal along that journey (along with many others).D A value can't be something you can complete. You can cross off having a mate so it would be a goal. Goals, values, is there a difference? Can it be a goal to build one's life according to one's values? And a value to be pursuing one's goals? Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 " Love addiction " is a psychological term I think. I hear you say " if it's a roller coaster, it's not love " - don't know, sort of goes against the entire Western culture? Romeo & tte, Otello & Dezdemona.. Life makes you high and then low all the time.. what do you do with it, move into the wilderness? BTW, my " quick fixes " tend not to be so quick, takes years.. taken 8 years once, with hardly any reinforcement! I wish it was over quick, but it's more like a chronic disease. I don't think its love, I think love is not something that can be addictive. Anything that entails an addiction, that is, you need it and it makes you high and then low, is not really something that you would value. I think you have a mix up. You do value having a meaningful relationship with someone, but then you get caught up in the adrenaline pursuit and go for all or nothings feelings, going high up where everything is focused on these feelings and the world fades to grey, and then hurtling down to reality, where you quickly have to look for the next quick fix (man) to give you again those sensations. I think you need to steer you boat in a different direction, and go down a more slow paced, balanced path. I say this as someone who has pursued adrenaline and highs in the past, and it brought nothing but misery to me. Even when I was on the high, everything I valued lost importance, and then on top the low is awful. I would take yourself slowly and meditate on it all, maybe dedicate some time to working with exercises that elicit values, and thinking truly what do you want from another person Tread gently XXX ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/ --- El lun, 15/8/11, Philip Dawson escribió: De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Re: Love addiction?Para: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 15 de agosto, 2011 00:24 A value can't be something you can complete. You can cross off having a mate so it would be a goal. Goals, values, is there a difference? Can it be a goal to build one's life according to one's values? And a value to be pursuing one's goals? Finding a mate is a goal rather than a value, isn't it?D Lastly, it's not like I don't have options. I have much more interesting people all around who express interest. Finding a mate is certainly my value, yet I am procrastinating on that. What's going on with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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