Re: Confused about acceptance and rational thoughts

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your clarifying answer Randy!

And your previous answers were only a bit confusing for me because

I was uncertain about what I really meant and thus expressed myself clumpsy, but

this you and all other helpful people here helped me to understand. Your last

post really helped me to make clear what I should do. I am simply going to trust

myself and defuse from thoughts that doesn't help me in any way, and use my

helpful thoughts. Defusion is not about defusing from all one's thoughts but

from the thoughts that doesn't help you move forward, a valued direction. And

the last thing you wrote about learning through process is so true. These are

not questions that will be answered by thinking about the answers, but through

direct experience.

Thank you, Bill, for sending me that hexagram! I appreciate it

Stan, the things you said about observing it all and let the answer unfold

itself were really helpful. And I do think that there is such a thing as too

much deattachment. I think that you should only defuse from unhelpful thoughts,

else you risk missing thoughts that actually can help you move forward.

I'm so glad that I found this site (thank you ), you are all so helpful

and friendly. And big thanks to ALL OF YOU have answered, just that act is a

evidence of your warm and compassionate hearts. May you find peace and be happy!

[Guest guest]

woow....i always look for replies from u randy.

u have a very indepth knowledge about ACT, not to mention u write beautifully.

thank you

> >

> > In ACT, from what I have understood so far, one should accept all

> > ones thoughts and feelings, defuse from one thoughts, and then

> > take a valued action. So, is this is kind of thinking supported

> > in ACT?

>

>

> Hi Sound of Zen,

>

> This sounds to me like a variation on a very common question when

> first learning ACT: " If thoughts are things to be defused from, how

> can I know when I should or shouldn't trust a particular thought? "

>

> The goal in ACT isn't defusion per se, it's psychological flexibility

> in situations where psychological flexibility may be useful.

>

> To take your example of judging a stranger, there are at least a

> couple of ways I can think of that we can get hung up with thoughts

> that don't help us in such a situation.

>

> One problem might be that we see strangers in general as threats.

> Because we are following what is in effect a self-generated rule

> ( " treat strangers as threatening " ) we may not observe actual cues in

> the environment (i.e. how the stranger is behaving) that suggest this

> particular stranger is friendly. Thus we may miss out on many

> opportunities to grow & connect with people.

>

> Another kind of problem might be the sort that you have mentioned -

> we meet a stranger & start experiencing critical thoughts about this

> person whom we don't know; and our reaction to these thoughts is

> basically to try and stop them - to tell ourselves not to be so

> judgmental. On top of that we may also start having thoughts about

> what sort of thoughts we should be thinking if we are doing ACT

> correctly!

>

> So we start chasing these thoughts around in our head ... and once

> again we are more likely to start missing what is actually going on

> with our interaction with this person in front of us. Are they

> smiling? Did they just grimmace? Who knows? We were busy with our very

> important thoughts about thoughts!

>

> The problem is not having thoughts - not at all. It is getting stuck

> in them to the degree they narrow our ability to observe & respond

> more flexibly.

>

> So ... as to when to trust or not trust a thought - it seems to me

> that this is not an issue to be attacked head-on in our usual manner,

> e.g. " Let me decide ahead of time what thoughts will be OK when I have

> them, and what thoughts will not be OK and should be defused from.

> That way I can be ready for each thought as it comes up. " This is just

> engaging the same engine that is already running - the mind. If this

> process was working for you, you wouldn't need ACT!

>

> A better place to start might be to learn what it feels like when

> fusion grabs us - that is, when we get hooked by a thought and start

> responding very narrowly & thus start missing what is going on around

> us. A good starter exercise for this skill is " Leaves Floating On

> a Stream " in " Get Out of Your Mind. " Rather than try it just once, you

> might practice it regularly for a while - or maybe practice it now &

> then in between working on other chapters in the book.

>

> Following your breath or counting breaths can be used in the same

> manner - the idea is both to notice what it is like to forget to

> follow the breath or forget to count, and to get used to letting go of

> the thought that hooked us, so as to return to the breath or the

> count. " The breath " or " the count " in this case is our environment -

> what we are working to be aware of even as thoughts come & go. It is

> not much different than meeting a stranger, having thoughts, and

> developing the ability to have these thoughts without losing track of

> what is actually going on in the interaction with the person in

> front of us.

>

> To sum up, the actual question of " Which thoughts to trust " is not

> really something that can be resolved by thinking about it. By

> building skills such as detecting fusion, staying in the present,

> etc., you can start making more choices available to you in more

> moments of your life. This is very helpful when it comes to values.

>

> Hope this helps -

>

> Randy

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bill,

Would you mind attaching the powerpoint here? I would love to see it.

Thanks

> Hi Soundofzen - The purpose of defusion, acceptance and the other core

processes of ACT is to help us live a valued life rather than struggle with

thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc that can get in the way. I find it helpful to

look at these things with curiosity - just observe them without fear, dread,

anger, etc. Doing so reduces the struggle.

>

> I'm going to send you a PowerPoint presentation offline about the ACT hexaflex

that will explain psychological flexibility, mentioned by a previous poster.

Watch it like a slide show for the most benefit. If you do not have powerpoint

just google " powerpoint reader " for software that is compatible with your

computer.

>

> Think of ACT as a three-legged stool. The first leg is SHOW UP and consists of

" self as context/observing self " and " contact with the present. " The second leg

is LET GO and consists of " defusion " and " acceptance. " The third leg is GET

MOVING and consists of " values " and " committed action. " ACT works best when you

use all six core processes rather than depending on just one or two of them.

>

> Your observation about values in your first post is important. ACT works best

if you have a good idea of your values so you can figure out what thoughts are

helpful.

>

> Bill

>

>

>>

>> I think I may have misinterpreted the whole purpose of defusion..

>> Can someone clarify?

>>

>> Thank you all again! I really appreciate that you're responding!

>>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

>

> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Bill:thanks for sharing these attachments. there were informative. i think will prove useful for myself in creating my own ACT gameplan.thank againoliverTo: esterellah@...; ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public >Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 8:41 AMSubject: FW: Re: Confused about acceptance and rational thoughts

Hi Esther - I just sent a separate email with the hexaflex file attached. You can also find it by going to the home page of this group http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/ and clicking on ATTACHMENTS under MESSAGES in a box in the upper left hand corner of the page. Go to the message dated April 2, 2011. It also contains two other files you might find interesting - "Create Your Own ACT Toolkit" and "Trainng Phase III" (discusses psychological flexing - a method to help you integrate ACT into your real-time everyday life). I hope you find this stuff helpful. Be sure to post any questions you have. This group has 1582 members and many probably have the same questions you might have.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public ;

wcamero@...From: esterellah@...Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2011 21:59:44 -0400Subject: Re: Re: Confused about acceptance and rational thoughts

Hi Bill,

Would you mind attaching the powerpoint here? I would love to see it.

Thanks

> Hi Soundofzen - The purpose of defusion, acceptance and the other core processes of ACT is to help us live a valued life rather than struggle with thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc that can get in the way. I find it helpful to look at these things with curiosity - just observe them without fear, dread, anger, etc. Doing so reduces the struggle.

>

> I'm going to send you a PowerPoint presentation offline about the ACT hexaflex that will explain psychological flexibility, mentioned by a previous poster. Watch it like a slide show for the most benefit. If you do not have powerpoint just google "powerpoint reader" for software that is compatible with your computer.

>

> Think of ACT as a three-legged stool. The first leg is SHOW UP and consists of "self as context/observing self" and "contact with the present." The second leg is LET GO and consists of "defusion" and "acceptance." The third leg is GET MOVING and consists of "values" and "committed action." ACT works best when you use all six core processes rather than depending on just one or two of them.

>

> Your observation about values in your first post is important. ACT works best if you have a good idea of your values so you can figure out what thoughts are helpful.

>

> Bill

>

>

>>

>> I think I may have misinterpreted the whole purpose of defusion..

>> Can someone clarify?

>>

>> Thank you all again! I really appreciate that you're responding!

>>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

>

> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

>

>

>