Re: Recovery Stories

[Guest guest]

Bruce,

If you just keep going it gets better in tiny bits, sometimes in ways you hadn't

expected. I have small stories every day that are happening. I am noticing

mostly that I am more willing to have what I'm having. And I've had some hard

falls recently, maybe the hardest. But if you let everyday teach you something

about who you are, that's a great start, because there are lessons whispering to

us everywhere. I will try to think of more specifics later.. one that comes to

mind is my volunteer work, which I'll share with you later. There are tons of

other examples.

I guess the larger question for you that might be helpful is do you have a sense

of where you are stuck? Where you're getting tripped up?

You don't have to answer here if you don't want to, but this is a very important

for each of us, to look see where our suffering tends to show itself in our

lives. You need a starting place. Do you have that?

Kind regards..more later..

terry

>

> Hi Everyone:

>

> Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could

> share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use

> some inspiration and hope.

>

> Thanks,

> Bruce

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your reply, Terry. I appreciate it.I'm really stuck in the area of meaning. My days are long and boring and I don't find much meaning in the moments of my life. I seem to spend a lot of time not doing much of anything and I'm constantly thinking about my psychological condition. I have what would seem to be a full life but it doesn't seem to require much participation on my part. There just doesn't like there's much to do. At work today, there's not much for me to do but I still have to be physically present. On days like this, I tend to do a lot of journal writing just to fill the time with some activity that looks like work. I have a lot of insights from that but no insight seems to make much difference. So I'm stuck both physically and mentally. Stuck in my chair physically. And stuck in the muck of my mind generally. Most days I can look back and see I've done more good than bad but it's not adding up to a life that feels valued. And it feels like this is getting worse. I take most every action I can think of. I just can't think of much.BruceBruce,If you just keep going it gets better in tiny bits, sometimes in ways you hadn't expected. I have small stories every day that are happening. I am noticing mostly that I am more willing to have what I'm having. And I've had some hard falls recently, maybe the hardest. But if you let everyday teach you something about who you are, that's a great start, because there are lessons whispering to us everywhere. I will try to think of more specifics later.. one that comes to mind is my volunteer work, which I'll share with you later. There are tons of other examples. I guess the larger question for you that might be helpful is do you have a sense of where you are stuck? Where you're getting tripped up?You don't have to answer here if you don't want to, but this is a very important for each of us, to look see where our suffering tends to show itself in our lives. You need a starting place. Do you have that?Kind regards..more later..terry>> Hi Everyone:> > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use > some inspiration and hope.> > Thanks,> Bruce>

[Guest guest]

I can relate to this. I feel like I'm living on the outside of me looking in, rather than living authentically from the inside out. All of my responses are run through a filter of judgement. I guess sometimes that's not bad but it also makes life very hard work.I've also been working in therapy with early experiences. I'm working with the idea now of being afraid that I'm going to live my father's life. He had some severe emotional struggles later in life and I think I'm afraid I'm condemned to the same. This really terrifies me and makes me shut down in fear. I don't seem to be able to just accept that my life is very different, and I'm a very different person, and just move on. That's a big question for me. Why can't I just move on? I seem to have no ability to heal from my traumas as normal people do.I'm afraid today is going to be one of 's "sit on my hands" days, of which I have far too many.BruceI recently saw a word that seems to describe pretty much where some of us are at: anomie, or something very much like it. For me, I sometimes think I'm leading someone else's life - there's no authentic "me" anywhere to be seen.I've worked this out as being the result of having to hide or disguise my true feelings in situations where I felt the threat of annihilation - antecedents that connect my present self to a very much younger self, anywhere from toddlerhood to pubescence. Looking back at those years, I've realized that to a great extent, that younger self had to be parent to the parents, or suffer the consequences.As I'm (slowly) learning in therapy, that younger self is still present and reacting to present circumstances as though I am still the little guy with an extremely attenuated repertoire of responses to threats perceived as life-threatening. I don't know if or when this will change. I can only do what I can, stories in the literature of wonderful recoveries notwithstanding.For now, at least, I am willing to continue, even if it's only with the aide afforded by various substances.In a nutshell, my day-to-day experience isn't all bad. Perhaps there's a clue there.Regards,Detlef > > >> > > Hi Everyone:> > >> > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could> > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use> > > some inspiration and hope.> > >> > > Thanks,> > > Bruce> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for that, Helena. Truly.For me it isn't only alcohol - something I can relatively do without. It's also benzodiazepines, or even OTC painkillers. Anything to numb that seemingly incessant pain. Truth be told, more than half of my posts here have been influenced by one or another substance deemed "improper". But then, half have been when I am more or less sober (meaning the only substances were nicotine and caffeine).Can you guess which posts are which, including this one? has spoken of hitting some sort of rock bottom. It seems to have helped him turn his life around for the better. But I figure for every "success" story like that, there are probably thousands of abject failures. Still, we live in hope. When that's gone, the car exhaust seems a reasonable alternative - to fall asleep and never wake up. I've certainly thought about it. But I'm basically a coward, nullifying such thoughts with numerous rationalizations, such as not wanting my life partner to find my body in our car.I think the "ground zero" question we sooner or later need to answer is whether we want to live or not.For some of us, the jury's still out on that one.Yeah.Detlef > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone: > > > > > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use > > > > some inspiration and hope. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Bruce > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Bruce, have you ever met a "normal person?" LOL! I wonder what one looks like.

"Why can't I just move on?" you ask. I think you are moving on and just don't recognize it, or it doesn't look like you want it to look. Maybe what you're really asking is "Why isn't the pain and discomfort gone?" Even sitting on your hands is a form of moving on, you know. And please don't judge yourself for having too many sitting-on-your-hands days. You could be doing a lot worse than that.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, October 28, 2011 1:24:14 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories

I can relate to this. I feel like I'm living on the outside of me looking in, rather than living authentically from the inside out. All of my responses are run through a filter of judgement. I guess sometimes that's not bad but it also makes life very hard work.

I've also been working in therapy with early experiences. I'm working with the idea now of being afraid that I'm going to live my father's life. He had some severe emotional struggles later in life and I think I'm afraid I'm condemned to the same. This really terrifies me and makes me shut down in fear. I don't seem to be able to just accept that my life is very different, and I'm a very different person, and just move on. That's a big question for me. Why can't I just move on? I seem to have no ability to heal from my traumas as normal people do.

I'm afraid today is going to be one of 's "sit on my hands" days, of which I have far too many.

Bruce

I recently saw a word that seems to describe pretty much where some of us are at: anomie, or something very much like it. For me, I sometimes think I'm leading someone else's life - there's no authentic "me" anywhere to be seen.I've worked this out as being the result of having to hide or disguise my true feelings in situations where I felt the threat of annihilation - antecedents that connect my present self to a very much younger self, anywhere from toddlerhood to pubescence. Looking back at those years, I've realized that to a great extent, that younger self had to be parent to the parents, or suffer the consequences.As I'm (slowly) learning in therapy, that younger self is still present and reacting to present circumstances as though I am still the little guy with an extremely attenuated repertoire of responses to threats perceived as life-threatening. I don't know if or when this will change. I can only do what I can, stories in the literature of wonderful recoveries notwithstanding.For now, at least, I am willing to continue, even if it's only with the aide afforded by various substances.In a nutshell, my day-to-day experience isn't all bad. Perhaps there's a clue there.Regards,Detlef > > >> > > Hi Everyone:> > >> > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could> > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use> > > some inspiration and hope.> > >> > > Thanks,> > > Bruce> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Bruce, have you ever met a "normal person?" LOL! I wonder what one looks like.I know the question is facetious and that everyone has their quirks and struggles. But I guess I do consider a lot of people normal. People who can get out of bed feeling OK and go about their day. People who can enjoy watching a movie or sporting event or reading a book (that's not about emotional recovery). People who can get positively excited about something or have a hobby or cause that occupies them. I'd like to be a person who can say I used to be depressed and mean it. "Why can't I just move on?" you ask. I think you are moving on and just don't recognize it, or it doesn't look like you want it to look. Maybe what you're really asking is "Why isn't the pain and discomfort gone?" Even sitting on your hands is a form of moving on, you know. And please don't judge yourself for having too many sitting-on-your-hands days. You could be doing a lot worse than that.Yes, things could be much worse. My life situation is not bad. I guess I feel like too many sitting on my hands days adds up to an unvalued life. HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, October 28, 2011 1:24:14 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories I can relate to this. I feel like I'm living on the outside of me looking in, rather than living authentically from the inside out. All of my responses are run through a filter of judgement. I guess sometimes that's not bad but it also makes life very hard work.I've also been working in therapy with early experiences. I'm working with the idea now of being afraid that I'm going to live my father's life. He had some severe emotional struggles later in life and I think I'm afraid I'm condemned to the same. This really terrifies me and makes me shut down in fear. I don't seem to be able to just accept that my life is very different, and I'm a very different person, and just move on. That's a big question for me. Why can't I just move on? I seem to have no ability to heal from my traumas as normal people do.I'm afraid today is going to be one of 's "sit on my hands" days, of which I have far too many.BruceI recently saw a word that seems to describe pretty much where some of us are at: anomie, or something very much like it. For me, I sometimes think I'm leading someone else's life - there's no authentic "me" anywhere to be seen.I've worked this out as being the result of having to hide or disguise my true feelings in situations where I felt the threat of annihilation - antecedents that connect my present self to a very much younger self, anywhere from toddlerhood to pubescence. Looking back at those years, I've realized that to a great extent, that younger self had to be parent to the parents, or suffer the consequences.As I'm (slowly) learning in therapy, that younger self is still present and reacting to present circumstances as though I am still the little guy with an extremely attenuated repertoire of responses to threats perceived as life-threatening. I don't know if or when this will change. I can only do what I can, stories in the literature of wonderful recoveries notwithstanding.For now, at least, I am willing to continue, even if it's only with the aide afforded by various substances.In a nutshell, my day-to-day experience isn't all bad. Perhaps there's a clue there.Regards,Detlef > > >> > > Hi Everyone:> > >> > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery with ACT they could> > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment and could really use> > > some inspiration and hope.> > >> > > Thanks,> > > Bruce> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

hi, I am gonna chime in w some Philosophy (specifically Existentialism, Sartre,

Camus) which I have been doing some heavy reading of late.

I note this is a rather long thread, so forgive me if I missed something, and

also this isn't necessarily ACT, although i do see it as being complementary to

ACT.

Existentialists say there is No Meaning to Life.... to be Found! There is no God

(sorry if I offend anyone here) and there is no ultimate meaning to life to be

discovered or found. God represents a form of absolute system which is unproven

and w all absolute systems require your total obedience.

Existentialism on the other hand focuses on the Freedom of the Individual (and

the burden of Responsibility of such freedom), that in an indifferent world

where the world simply exists, we are simply thrown into the world without any

pre-determined individual purpose (thus is Sartre's famous quote Existence

precedes Essence) . Ultimately in an indifferent world where anything happens,

as individuals we are burdened by our freedom to choose, to act, and to live a

valued life or vital life made of our own choosing.

Anxiety then is what we face when we desire answers to things, like the meaning

of life questions, and finding that there is no MOL answer to be discovered nor

to be found nor does it exist, then we must deal w the freedom of choosing our

own MOL, again through our own choices and actions in this life which is the

only life we do have.

Well, pretty heavy so I will live it at that. It's a pretty deep philosophy,

I've spent the past 6 months reading about it, so not a quick process. Hope it

is of some help, taking it out of an ACT context which I think focuses on the

psychological state of mind and bringing in more of a philosophical world point

of view.

Tom

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> > > >> > > > > > > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment

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[Guest guest]

This is where I find expansion works for me Bruce, making room for those

feelings of sadness....allowing that they were very real once, even if I have no

memory of them, and, instead of always resisting and resenting them, dropping

into them, really feeling the old grief, half your attention on noticing it's

NOT that way now and the rest on allowing yourself to feel what was probably not

safe enough to feel once upon a time. It's like kids who cry after a really good

day with lots of fun and attention on them. Adults around them tend to go, 'how

ungrateful, after all I've given you, you've had such a good day blah blah

blah', when the reality is, it's BECAUSE of the fun and attention they're

actually feeling some safety in showing what's been hard for them, not

necessarily from that day but something they've been carrying for a while and

they just need space to get it out then they're back to their happy selves. I

find it's often the half-dealt with old stuff that hangs around like a bad smell

in our good lives. I know what I need to do is create expansion for the rage and

indignation that I was not allowed to express. I know it's what keeps a lid on

my creativity in the present and saps all my energy (I get glimpses of how much

energy I could have when I get mad at my partner because I start cleaning!) I'm

getting ready to go to a retreat here in Australia and smash some plates.

Like I said in another post, defusion is the hardest for me. My mind cleverly

created rabbit warrens through which to duck and weave from panic and terror and

I've spent my life exploring them with a magnifying glass, fascinated with every

twist and turn. Learning and re-minding myself I don't need to go down there is

the big challenge, especially as I find the tunnels themselves are now the scary

things...the actual events they were created for are long over.

cheers

> > >

> > > I'm wondering if anyone has any experience truly getting off their

> > > hands and into a valued life. Does it have to be busy activity? Or

> > is

> > > an internal changing of the mind?

> > >

> > > I try to help others and I have activities where I do that but I

> > can't

> > > be engaged in it 24/7. Right now, I'm obligated to stay at home so I

> > > have to do the best I can where I am. One of my symptoms of

> > depression

> > > is the inability to concentrate or lose myself in an activity.

> > > Everything seems meaningless or not worth doing. So it's hard to

> > move

> > > hands and feet in a valued direction from where I am now.

> > >

> > > I know I sound kind of clueless. I guess I am.

[Guest guest]

I do the same Lou. Not so much with alcohol bingeing these days but with large

family blocks of chocolate and when you consider I've been teetering on the edge

of diabetes for a long time, it's just as wild and crazy. I've done many, many

life-threatening things in my life...it's like the bigger part of you keeps

taking you to that edge you know so well in the hope that this time, maybe this

time, I'll heal the original hurt. But, like you, many times it's too strong,

you fall in... and the rescue squad never shows up so the origninal hurt gets

compounded, it grows and grows over the years. I'm starting to have the tiniest

teensiest movement towards 'sitting on my hands' and I hope I get there before

the body conks out. I just hope I don't strangle the next person who says 'it's

all about willpower'.

I want to get to the point where I recognise you guys ARE the rescue squad (no,

not literally) and I post here when I feel like crap, instead of only when I

feel good. I'll cheer you on Lou.

> > > >

> > > > I'm wondering if anyone has any experience truly getting off their

> > > > hands and into a valued life. Does it have to be busy activity? Or

> > > is

> > > > an internal changing of the mind?

> > > >

> > > > I try to help others and I have activities where I do that but I

> > > can't

> > > > be engaged in it 24/7. Right now, I'm obligated to stay at home so I

> > > > have to do the best I can where I am. One of my symptoms of

> > > depression

> > > > is the inability to concentrate or lose myself in an activity.

> > > > Everything seems meaningless or not worth doing. So it's hard to

> > > move

> > > > hands and feet in a valued direction from where I am now.

> > > >

> > > > I know I sound kind of clueless. I guess I am.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi NeilDo you want to tell us how you got on with the "noticing 5 things" exercise in the park (or wherever you chose to do it?).Best wishes, To: act_for_the_public Sent: Monday, 31 October 2011, 17:03Subject: RE: Re:

Recovery Stories

Hi Bruce, I think I know what your talking about, I have recently started using ACT and I too am finding it hard to 'accept' and let go of these feelings, I think you maybe the same as myself and are using ACT as a control technique when it clearly is'nt. I too am very hard on myself and constantly beat myself up as I'm not feeling better when I try to defuse, is this the same as yourself Bruce? Tell me if I'm wrong. I know feeling better is just a by-product of ACT and I'm not using it properly but I feel I'm not in the right 'state' of mind to concentrate and 'give' myself to life. I let my thoughts and feelings win again today as I failed to go to my first day of my new job, my anxiety just took over again and no matter how much I tried defusing it just wasnt working. The main reason I'm not in the right 'state' of mind is also because I'm just not in the right place, I mean I have

been in Birmingham for 3 years and I just cant settle here with my partner. The point I'm making is that I think for ACT to work you have to be in the place you want to be and be relaxed and I'm not. Let me know Bruce if this is how you feel. Neil

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: theresa.linder@...Date: Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:10:37 -0700Subject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories

Your language, I'd caution again..lots of traps you likely see since you're creative, bright, write a lot, are well read like so many personas posting. But you asked for help with your stuckness so I'll share this fwiw. "I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings." sounds like you think being unstuck means you don't have

feelings. It's not the feelings that keep you stuck..it's the feelings+

unwillingness to have them = stuck. You do get that, right?And honestly, Bruce-- as I read some of your recent posts, I hear lots of lovely moments of light, love, kindness, extending support to others..doesn't feel stuck at all..feels light and breezy. Do you get that?And your second sentence here, again, the wording: "I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go." Whew..again, huge set up right there.Sounds like you have it set up you need to "let go" or be in some sort of state before you can stop beating yourself up. You know, with the word "but" inserted in the sentence and all. You really don't need to do any thing in particular before you start choosing to stop being hard on yourself,

before you start choosing

self-kindness. You do get that, right? Again, I think you probably know that, but just thought I'd point that out just in case you forgot.Language, narratives about where we are so easily can confuse, complicate and feed the pain. kind regards,terryTo: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:22

PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories

Thanks for your feedback, Terry. I really appreciate it.I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go.Thank you again,BruceBruce, Sorry to jump in and maybe you're already feeling less stuck just having shared. There are too many posts to comb thru right now, and I'm confused as to whether your suffering is situational or not (you've mentioned both money and boredom on job), but regardless, caught a potential mind trap here:The

thought that

if you could just drop it (whatever "it" is), then you'd be happy (or things would be good) along with belief that somehow you can't drop it, can't budge your struggle switch sounds like a very desperate place to be, where there is no choice, where you are absolutely trapped. And kind of a royal set up for Bruce, no? Kind of like your mind is working over-time, really making this extra hard on yourself..kind of tying up both hands behind your back, no? Maybe just back up and start there, with noticing that? I hope you find more breathing room for yourself. You are SO worth it!kind regards,terry> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone:> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery> > > >> with ACT> > > >> > > > they could> > > >> > > > > > > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment > > and> > > >> could> > > >> > > > really use> >

> >> > > > > > > > > > some inspiration and hope.> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Thanks,> > > >> > > > > > > > > >

Bruce> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > > >> >>

> > >>> > > >>> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

I hope everyone on the list is doing well today. I myself am stuck in suffering without much to do. In this situation, I struggle with rumination. It's another boring day on the job where I am doing enough to stay employed and pull my weight but that's about it.I always look forward to messages from the list but there hasn't been much in the past few days. I hope that means that things are good for most of us. It's my wish that all of us would be well.BruceYour language, I'd caution again..lots of traps you likely see since you're creative, bright, write a lot, are well read like so many personas posting. But you asked for help with your stuckness so I'll share this fwiw. "I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings." sounds like you think being unstuck means you don't have feelings. It's not the feelings that keep you stuck..it's the feelings+ unwillingness to have them = stuck. You do get that, right?And honestly, Bruce-- as I read some of your recent posts, I hear lots of lovely moments of light, love, kindness, extending support to others..doesn't feel stuck at all..feels light and breezy. Do you get that?And your second sentence here, again, the wording: "I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go." Whew..again, huge set up right there.Sounds like you have it set up you need to "let go" or be in some sort of state before you can stop beating yourself up. You know, with the word "but" inserted in the sentence and all. You really don't need to do any thing in particular before you start choosing to stop being hard on yourself, before you start choosing self-kindness. You do get that, right? Again, I think you probably know that, but just thought I'd point that out just in case you forgot.Language, narratives about where we are so easily can confuse, complicate and feed the pain. kind regards,terryTo: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:22 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery StoriesThanks for your feedback, Terry. I really appreciate it.I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go.Thank you again,BruceBruce, Sorry to jump in and maybe you're already feeling less stuck just having shared. There are too many posts to comb thru right now, and I'm confused as to whether your suffering is situational or not (you've mentioned both money and boredom on job), but regardless, caught a potential mind trap here:The thought that if you could just drop it (whatever "it" is), then you'd be happy (or things would be good) along with belief that somehow you can't drop it, can't budge your struggle switch sounds like a very desperate place to be, where there is no choice, where you are absolutely trapped. And kind of a royal set up for Bruce, no? Kind of like your mind is working over-time, really making this extra hard on yourself..kind of tying up both hands behind your back, no? Maybe just back up and start there, with noticing that? I hope you find more breathing room for yourself. You are SO worth it!kind regards,terry> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone:> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery> > > >> with ACT> > > >> > > > they could> > > >> > > > > > > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment > > and> > > >> could> > > >> > > > really use> > > >> > > > > > > > > > some inspiration and hope.> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Thanks,> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Bruce> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > > >> >> > > >>> > > >>> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

I guess I would just add that I'd appreciate any message of hope or support. Sorry to be so needy. It's just where I am today and I know there are some good-hearted and wise people on this list.Thanks,BruceI hope everyone on the list is doing well today. I myself am stuck in suffering without much to do. In this situation, I struggle with rumination. It's another boring day on the job where I am doing enough to stay employed and pull my weight but that's about it.I always look forward to messages from the list but there hasn't been much in the past few days. I hope that means that things are good for most of us. It's my wish that all of us would be well.BruceYour language, I'd caution again..lots of traps you likely see since you're creative, bright, write a lot, are well read like so many personas posting. But you asked for help with your stuckness so I'll share this fwiw. "I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings." sounds like you think being unstuck means you don't have feelings. It's not the feelings that keep you stuck..it's the feelings+ unwillingness to have them = stuck. You do get that, right?And honestly, Bruce-- as I read some of your recent posts, I hear lots of lovely moments of light, love, kindness, extending support to others..doesn't feel stuck at all..feels light and breezy. Do you get that?And your second sentence here, again, the wording: "I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go." Whew..again, huge set up right there.Sounds like you have it set up you need to "let go" or be in some sort of state before you can stop beating yourself up. You know, with the word "but" inserted in the sentence and all. You really don't need to do any thing in particular before you start choosing to stop being hard on yourself, before you start choosing self-kindness. You do get that, right? Again, I think you probably know that, but just thought I'd point that out just in case you forgot.Language, narratives about where we are so easily can confuse, complicate and feed the pain. kind regards,terryTo: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:22 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery StoriesThanks for your feedback, Terry. I really appreciate it.I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go.Thank you again,BruceBruce, Sorry to jump in and maybe you're already feeling less stuck just having shared. There are too many posts to comb thru right now, and I'm confused as to whether your suffering is situational or not (you've mentioned both money and boredom on job), but regardless, caught a potential mind trap here:The thought that if you could just drop it (whatever "it" is), then you'd be happy (or things would be good) along with belief that somehow you can't drop it, can't budge your struggle switch sounds like a very desperate place to be, where there is no choice, where you are absolutely trapped. And kind of a royal set up for Bruce, no? Kind of like your mind is working over-time, really making this extra hard on yourself..kind of tying up both hands behind your back, no? Maybe just back up and start there, with noticing that? I hope you find more breathing room for yourself. You are SO worth it!kind regards,terry> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone:> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery> > > >> with ACT> > > >> > > > they could> > > >> > > > > > > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment > > and> > > >> could> > > >> > > > really use> > > >> > > > > > > > > > some inspiration and hope.> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Thanks,> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Bruce> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > > >> >> > > >>> > > >>> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce I know exactly how you feel it's normal to want a positive message for some support. I'm sorry to hear that your day has been like that, remember to try and live for the moment. I tried something different today as I've been struggling with defusion a bit. I tried visualising letting my thoughts go instead of 'I'm having the thought', that just doesn't seem to work for me. By visualising I mean seeing pieces of text just flowing from my head instead of being stuck there and also seeing the text 'unhooking' itself and flowing freely. It probably won't work for everyone but it's worth a try! All the bestNeilSent from my iPhone

I guess I would just add that I'd appreciate any message of hope or support. Sorry to be so needy. It's just where I am today and I know there are some good-hearted and wise people on this list.Thanks,BruceI hope everyone on the list is doing well today. I myself am stuck in suffering without much to do. In this situation, I struggle with rumination. It's another boring day on the job where I am doing enough to stay employed and pull my weight but that's about it.I always look forward to messages from the list but there hasn't been much in the past few days. I hope that means that things are good for most of us. It's my wish that all of us would be well.BruceYour language, I'd caution again..lots of traps you likely see since you're creative, bright, write a lot, are well read like so many personas posting. But you asked for help with your stuckness so I'll share this fwiw. "I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings." sounds like you think being unstuck means you don't have feelings. It's not the feelings that keep you stuck..it's the feelings+ unwillingness to have them = stuck. You do get that, right?And honestly, Bruce-- as I read some of your recent posts, I hear lots of lovely moments of light, love, kindness, extending support to others..doesn't feel stuck at all..feels light and breezy. Do you get that?And your second sentence here, again, the wording: "I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go." Whew..again, huge set up right there.Sounds like you have it set up you need to "let go" or be in some sort of state before you can stop beating yourself up. You know, with the word "but" inserted in the sentence and all. You really don't need to do any thing in particular before you start choosing to stop being hard on yourself, before you start choosing self-kindness. You do get that, right? Again, I think you probably know that, but just thought I'd point that out just in case you forgot.Language, narratives about where we are so easily can confuse, complicate and feed the pain. kind regards,terryTo: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:22 PMSubject: Re: Re: Recovery StoriesThanks for your feedback, Terry. I really appreciate it.I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go.Thank you again,BruceBruce, Sorry to jump in and maybe you're already feeling less stuck just having shared. There are too many posts to comb thru right now, and I'm confused as to whether your suffering is situational or not (you've mentioned both money and boredom on job), but regardless, caught a potential mind trap here:The thought that if you could just drop it (whatever "it" is), then you'd be happy (or things would be good) along with belief that somehow you can't drop it, can't budge your struggle switch sounds like a very desperate place to be, where there is no choice, where you are absolutely trapped. And kind of a royal set up for Bruce, no? Kind of like your mind is working over-time, really making this extra hard on yourself..kind of tying up both hands behind your back, no? Maybe just back up and start there, with noticing that? I hope you find more breathing room for yourself. You are SO worth it!kind regards,terry> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone:> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Does anyone have a story of success or recovery> > > >> with ACT> > > >> > > > they could> > > >> > > > > > > > > > share? I'm feeling pretty stuck at the moment > > and> > > >> could> > > >> > > > really use> > > >> > > > > > > > > > some inspiration and hope.> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Thanks,> > > >> > > > > > > > > > Bruce> > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > >> > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > > >> >> > > >>> > > >>> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce,Does pulling your own weight satisfy your values related to the work arena? Not meant as criticism, but rather as a possible way to dig out....D

>  >> Hi Bruce,>  > Imagine me sitting with you right now mate, because I am. I feel you sitting next to me, turning occasionally and asking me, " Is there anything you want to do? Is that all there is? " But I have nothing mate....

>  >  > It is just you and I sitting together...>  > Thinking of  you...>  > Lou>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Saturday, 5 November 2011 7:49 AM> Subject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories>

>  > I hope everyone on the list is doing well today. I myself am stuck in suffering without much to do. In this situation, I struggle with rumination. It's another boring day on the job where I am doing enough to stay employed and pull my weight but that's about it.

> I always look forward to messages from the list but there hasn't been much in the past few days. I hope that means that things are good for most of us. It's my wish that all of us would be well.> Bruce

>> >> Your language, I'd caution again..lots of traps you likely see since you're creative, bright, write a lot, are well read like so many personas posting. 

> But you asked for help with your stuckness so I'll share this fwiw. >> " I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. "  sounds like you think being unstuck means you don't have feelings.

>  It's not the feelings that keep you stuck..it's the feelings+ unwillingness to have them = stuck. You do get that, right?>> And honestly, Bruce-- as I read some of your recent posts, I hear lots of lovely moments of light, love, kindness, extending support to others..doesn't feel stuck at all..feels light and breezy. Do you get that?

>> And your second sentence here, again, the wording:  " I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go. "  Whew..again, huge set up right there.> Sounds like you have it set up you need to " let go " or be in some sort of state before you can stop beating yourself up. You know, with the word " but " inserted in the sentence and all. 

>> You really don't need to do any thing in particular before you start choosing to stop being hard on yourself, before you start choosing self-kindness. > You do get that, right?  Again, I think you probably know that, but just thought I'd point that out just in case you forgot.

>> Language, narratives about where we are so easily can confuse, complicate and feed the pain. >> kind regards,> terry>>>> From: Bruce Carlson

> To: ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:22 PM> Subject: Re: Re: Recovery Stories>

>>> Thanks for your feedback, Terry. I really appreciate it.> I'm afraid I'm still just as stuck so I'm still in the middle of these feelings. I am making this very hard on myself but am have having great difficulty letting go.

> Thank you again,> Bruce> On Oct 30, 2011, at 6:04 PM, theresa.linder@... wrote:>> Bruce, >> Sorry to jump in and maybe you're already feeling less stuck just having shared. There are too many posts to comb thru right now, and I'm confused as to whether your suffering is situational or not (you've mentioned both money and boredom on job), but regardless, caught a potential mind trap here:

>> The thought that if you could just drop it (whatever " it " is), then you'd be happy (or things would be good) along with belief that somehow you can't drop it, can't budge your struggle switch sounds like a very desperate place to be, where there is no choice, where you are absolutely trapped. And kind of a royal set up for Bruce, no? Kind of like your mind is working over-time, really making this extra hard on yourself..kind of tying up both hands behind your back, no? 

>> Maybe just back up and start there, with noticing that? >> I hope you find more breathing room for yourself. You are SO worth it!>> kind regards,> terry>> >> > >>> > > I'm wondering if anyone has any experience truly getting off their>> > > hands and into a valued life. Does it have to be busy activity? Or 

>> > is>> > > an internal changing of the mind?>> > >>> > > I try to help others and I have activities where I do that but I >>>>> <

-- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@...