Re: Re: Big Leaps

[Guest guest]

Your major allies in thisare just the pain and boredom of more of the sameAny attempt to beat yourself into compliancewith " how it should be " will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken,

it is very likely a values violation, and it involves buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in thefirst place!)So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wide

and gently let this experience be a teacher.What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see.Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it.Then ally with yourself and take the next step

- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing "

hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be):

Blogs: Psychology Today  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phd

If you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site:  http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes

http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

orhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

 

Simone;

Praying for you as you journey in your life.

ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL.

This usually means we have to face our fears.

I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.

I've been there and still am.

It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things.

MUST you do this?Only you can decide.

Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?

Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.

If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.

Blessings!

[Guest guest]

Hello and All,

Just want to let you know that I did go on the trip that was giving me so much angst. I didn't sleep at all the night before - my stomach was churning so much- mind doing somersaults.

Anyway - I wrote down on a piece of paper all the ACT things I wanted to remember - plus other stuff, and took it with me. I was telling myself at 4 o'clock in the morning, 'not sure if I can do this....'....but I basically just said 'oh s..d it! I don't care anymore'.

And off I went.

The Beta Blockers have been interesting. I am so deeply enmeshed in mind/body reactions that it is as if someone has taken a big chunk out of that tin can monster - giving me a more solid footing to practise ACT. Plus - it does feel kinda nice not having my body go into adrenaline overdrive at the drop of a hat.( or a thought!) (Gotta be careful here I know)

Back to the trip - I had worries, and my mouth was dry for a good couple of hours- my mind gently rumbling in the background. But it wasn't like my mind said it would be. In fact I quite enjoyed the day - ( big museum, London) And I managed to look after five kids perfectly. I looked at my values and thought - ok, engage with these kids, lets have some fun, lets learn something. At the same time as having a backgroud of slight unease.

So I felt good - but then on the way home my mind starts up again!, ' Ok so you were lucky this time - you didn't feel panicy because of xyz....it was just luck - you wait till next time......' Thanks mind!

I didn't want to feel the despair of not going - I've done enough of that, and will probably do it again. It was good to remind myself of that despair when the urge to backout was strong. And if and when I backout again I will stand with myself and hold myself kindly .

I basically said 'enough.

Thank you all so much for your support - it has meant a great deal. Simone x

‘Enough. These few words are enough.

If not these words, this breath.

if not this breath, this sitting here.

this opening up to the life,

we have refused,

again and again

Until now....

( Whyte)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 14 November 2011, 19:59Subject: Re: Re: Big Leaps

Your major allies in this are just the pain and boredom of more of the same

Any attempt to beat yourself into compliance

with "how it should be"

will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken,

it is very likely a values violation, and it involves

buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in the

first place!)

So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wide

and gently let this experience be a teacher.

What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see.

Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it.

Then ally with yourself and take the next step

- S

C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf

you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values. If you are a

professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Simone;Praying for you as you journey in your life.

ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL.

This usually means we have to face our fears.I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.I've been there and still am.It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things.

MUST you do this?

Only you can decide.Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.Blessings!

[Guest guest]

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You did it! I'm so happy for your willingness to go in spite of your fears. That you just took them with you and didn't let them run your life. You rock!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2011 4:30:01 AMSubject: Re: Re: Big Leaps

Hello and All,

Just want to let you know that I did go on the trip that was giving me so much angst. I didn't sleep at all the night before - my stomach was churning so much- mind doing somersaults.

Anyway - I wrote down on a piece of paper all the ACT things I wanted to remember - plus other stuff, and took it with me. I was telling myself at 4 o'clock in the morning, 'not sure if I can do this....'....but I basically just said 'oh s..d it! I don't care anymore'.

And off I went.

The Beta Blockers have been interesting. I am so deeply enmeshed in mind/body reactions that it is as if someone has taken a big chunk out of that tin can monster - giving me a more solid footing to practise ACT. Plus - it does feel kinda nice not having my body go into adrenaline overdrive at the drop of a hat.( or a thought!) (Gotta be careful here I know)

Back to the trip - I had worries, and my mouth was dry for a good couple of hours- my mind gently rumbling in the background. But it wasn't like my mind said it would be. In fact I quite enjoyed the day - ( big museum, London) And I managed to look after five kids perfectly. I looked at my values and thought - ok, engage with these kids, lets have some fun, lets learn something. At the same time as having a backgroud of slight unease.

So I felt good - but then on the way home my mind starts up again!, ' Ok so you were lucky this time - you didn't feel panicy because of xyz....it was just luck - you wait till next time......' Thanks mind!

I didn't want to feel the despair of not going - I've done enough of that, and will probably do it again. It was good to remind myself of that despair when the urge to backout was strong. And if and when I backout again I will stand with myself and hold myself kindly .

I basically said 'enough.

Thank you all so much for your support - it has meant a great deal. Simone x

‘Enough. These few words are enough.

If not these words, this breath.

if not this breath, this sitting here.

this opening up to the life,

we have refused,

again and again

Until now....

( Whyte)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 14 November 2011, 19:59Subject: Re: Re: Big Leaps

Your major allies in this are just the pain and boredom of more of the same

Any attempt to beat yourself into compliance

with "how it should be"

will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken,

it is very likely a values violation, and it involves

buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in the

first place!)

So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wide

and gently let this experience be a teacher.

What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see.

Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it.

Then ally with yourself and take the next step

- S

C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Simone;Praying for you as you journey in your life.

ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL.

This usually means we have to face our fears.I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.I've been there and still am.It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things.

MUST you do this?

Only you can decide.Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.Blessings!

[Guest guest]

Good for you. Go again soon and often. Re: Re: Big Leaps Your major allies in thisare just the pain and boredom of more of the sameAny attempt to beat yourself into compliancewith " how it should be " will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken,it is very likely a values violation, and it involves buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in thefirst place!)So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wideand gently let this experience be a teacher.What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see.Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it.Then ally with yourself and take the next step- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... orstevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayeshttp://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS):www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values.If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go tohttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/joinOn Mon, Nov 14, 2011 at 11:50 AM, D wrote: Simone;Praying for you as you journey in your life.ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL.This usually means we have to face our fears.I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.I've been there and still am.It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things.MUST you do this?Only you can decide.Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.Blessings!

[Guest guest]

Congratulations Simone. It sounds like you did wonderfully!Bruce Hello and All, Just want to let you know that I did go on the trip that was giving me so much angst. I didn't sleep at all the night before - my stomach was churning so much- mind doing somersaults. Anyway - I wrote down on a piece of paper all the ACT things I wanted to remember - plus other stuff, and took it with me. I was telling myself at 4 o'clock in the morning, 'not sure if I can do this....'....but I basically just said 'oh s..d it! I don't care anymore'. And off I went. The Beta Blockers have been interesting. I am so deeply enmeshed in mind/body reactions that it is as if someone has taken a big chunk out of that tin can monster - giving me a more solid footing to practise ACT. Plus - it does feel kinda nice not having my body go into adrenaline overdrive at the drop of a hat.( or a thought!) (Gotta be careful here I know) Back to the trip - I had worries, and my mouth was dry for a good couple of hours- my mind gently rumbling in the background. But it wasn't like my mind said it would be. In fact I quite enjoyed the day - ( big museum, London) And I managed to look after five kids perfectly. I looked at my values and thought - ok, engage with these kids, lets have some fun, lets learn something. At the same time as having a backgroud of slight unease. So I felt good - but then on the way home my mind starts up again!, ' Ok so you were lucky this time - you didn't feel panicy because of xyz....it was just luck - you wait till next time......' Thanks mind! I didn't want to feel the despair of not going - I've done enough of that, and will probably do it again. It was good to remind myself of that despair when the urge to backout was strong. And if and when I backout again I will stand with myself and hold myself kindly . I basically said 'enough. Thank you all so much for your support - it has meant a great deal. Simone x ‘Enough. These few words are enough. If not these words, this breath. if not this breath, this sitting here. this opening up to the life, we have refused, again and again Until now.... ( Whyte) To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 14 November 2011, 19:59Subject: Re: Re: Big Leaps Your major allies in this are just the pain and boredom of more of the same Any attempt to beat yourself into compliance with "how it should be" will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken, it is very likely a values violation, and it involves buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in the first place!) So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wide and gently let this experience be a teacher. What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see. Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it. Then ally with yourself and take the next step - S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join Simone;Praying for you as you journey in your life. ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL. This usually means we have to face our fears.I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.I've been there and still am.It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things. MUST you do this? Only you can decide.Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.Blessings!

[Guest guest]

Well done Simone! Positive steps :-) Sent from my iPhone

Hello and All,

Just want to let you know that I did go on the trip that was giving me so much angst. I didn't sleep at all the night before - my stomach was churning so much- mind doing somersaults.

Anyway - I wrote down on a piece of paper all the ACT things I wanted to remember - plus other stuff, and took it with me. I was telling myself at 4 o'clock in the morning, 'not sure if I can do this....'....but I basically just said 'oh s..d it! I don't care anymore'.

And off I went.

The Beta Blockers have been interesting. I am so deeply enmeshed in mind/body reactions that it is as if someone has taken a big chunk out of that tin can monster - giving me a more solid footing to practise ACT. Plus - it does feel kinda nice not having my body go into adrenaline overdrive at the drop of a hat.( or a thought!) (Gotta be careful here I know)

Back to the trip - I had worries, and my mouth was dry for a good couple of hours- my mind gently rumbling in the background. But it wasn't like my mind said it would be. In fact I quite enjoyed the day - ( big museum, London) And I managed to look after five kids perfectly. I looked at my values and thought - ok, engage with these kids, lets have some fun, lets learn something. At the same time as having a backgroud of slight unease.

So I felt good - but then on the way home my mind starts up again!, ' Ok so you were lucky this time - you didn't feel panicy because of xyz....it was just luck - you wait till next time......' Thanks mind!

I didn't want to feel the despair of not going - I've done enough of that, and will probably do it again. It was good to remind myself of that despair when the urge to backout was strong. And if and when I backout again I will stand with myself and hold myself kindly .

I basically said 'enough.

Thank you all so much for your support - it has meant a great deal. Simone x

‘Enough. These few words are enough.

If not these words, this breath.

if not this breath, this sitting here.

this opening up to the life,

we have refused,

again and again

Until now....

( Whyte)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 14 November 2011, 19:59Subject: Re: Re: Big Leaps

Your major allies in this are just the pain and boredom of more of the same

Any attempt to beat yourself into compliance

with "how it should be"

will backfire because it buys into the idea you are broken,

it is very likely a values violation, and it involves

buying into thoughts (and all of THAT is the problem in the

first place!)

So out of self-kindness keep your eyes wide

and gently let this experience be a teacher.

What is it teaching? Get beyond the chatter and see.

Don't try to formulate it -- try to experience it.

Then ally with yourself and take the next step

- S

C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf

you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values. If you are a

professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinorhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Simone;Praying for you as you journey in your life.

ACT is about FEELING well not feeling WELL.

This usually means we have to face our fears.I totally relate to the body reactions and mind reactions.I've been there and still am.It gets a bit easier each time I face up to things.

MUST you do this?

Only you can decide.Are you willing to attempt to act in a way that is consistent with what you value in your life?Perhaps its best to try and succeed and fail - there will be a mixture of both for sure.If you don't try, perhaps you will think you have only failed.Blessings!