RE: Re: Need your help... @ ...@ DETLEF

[Guest guest]

hehehehe, ur so cute detlef:-)to tell ya the truth its nothing to do with guts. I don't know if i have the guts or not, or howmuch guts i do really have. it is not imp. to me. What is imp. is...well lemme put it this way.if i were to fill a questionare that looked something like this:Question: what if u DIDN'T have anxiety, then (1) what major changes would u have liked to make in ur life?(2) What activites would u liked to indulge urself in?(3) what sorta relationships would u have liked to build with ur family and frrinds and new people u come acorss?so i would write down my asnwers to questions 1,2,3 . so if i didn't have anxiety i would do sooooooooo many things ...and i would list a whole bunch of short term, long term goals. and these goals would come from some underlying values. Then i would ask myself now:(1) what (deamons) unpleasant feelings/sensations/ images, show up when/ if i do start walking in my valued direction to achive these goals. (so basically specify my obsticales)then i list them down.now how about if i try doing them DESPITE having all these obsticles. WHY? well becoz(1) Having anxiety is NOT bad in itself. (2) unpleasant/painful thoughts, emotions,sensations,feelings,urges r nothing but just that, unpleasant expereinces in that moment. (3) Since these r really not in my control, but how i react to them is the only thing my control, so i gotta work with what is infact in my control , right? Now here;s the best part. so if i already know that axiety is nothing but a normal recation to a 'perceived' theratning situation, then i gotta work on how i would like to move forward WITH THE ANXIETY being present. So if i can connect with my oberrving self, and let the thinking self be my background radio. ackowelge it's presence do doubt, but not let it scary claws impact my behaviour as much. in other words defusing all those demons listed above, and trying to be connected with the here and now, present moment, so i don't miss out of those glimpses of wonderful expereinces that come and go in that moment too... , then there's MY VICTORY. :-). So it's simple in the sense i am not being asked to do the 'impossible task' of getting RID OF THE ANXIETY, it's NOT EASY in the sense that i's like i am being asked to lay down

flat on the ground and play dead when confronted by a grizly. But if that is the only solution, then bro, the best thing i can do for myself is use my energy in practising that skill, instead of fearing when i will be confronted, or worrying about how

enourmiously frigteened i will be when confronted. so bottom line, i always do my public speaking, and am about to do my lecture, WITH all those deamons present. :-)There a bigger picture, i c a glimpse of a beautiful light far faaaaaar away , beyond all the pain and suffering, and merely walking in the direction of that light is what gives me pleasure, and i don't hesitate to pat myself on the shoulder for merely EVERY STEP i take towards that light. :-)take care detlef and so glad to hear from uwasalaam:-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: michieux@...Date: Mon, 26 Sep 2011 13:49:58 +0000Subject: Re: Need your help... @

Not a worry, Helena. I say "uncool" things all the time. That's probably why I have no friends.As for , if she has the guts to get up and address a bunch of strangers as she does with Toastmasters, she has my deep admiration. I'm just in awe.Regards,Detlef