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Entanglement To Suffering

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I felt overwhewlmed by recent experiences and saw that I had an enormous

battle ahead. But I was ready for it and I put out a very powerful post

yesterday saying that the only way out is through (well at least for

me). The post dissapeared somewhere, fortunately.

Today, though, I wasn't so overwhelmed with anger at my fate and I

realised that this week I had become too entangled with my suffering. It

is easy to sit here and think this is such a momentious task and but I'm

ready for the fight (which I am). Then I look at my past and wonder how

did all this happen when other people find life so much easier. The pain

then builds up and up as my fearful determination increases.

But just don't dwell on it seems to be the best advice for me right now.

Today I am allowing the pain to be but getting on with things like

playing my guitar and keyboards. But then I feel how can I try again

only to fail and suffer as usual. Then I realise this is attachment

also. So. back to my musical instruments, and tonight, down the pub with

my lovely girlfriend for 3 pints of Huntman's Royal Oak. (my night off

from some of the pain for a bit)

(Oh! and I will be playing the F*ck Buttons in the car loud on the way

over to her and it's amazing. And I love driving too). So, some good

things to look forward to.

All the best.

Kv

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