Re: Re: Delusional thinking

[Guest guest]

I am happy that my words were able to help somewhat, Lou. My internal clock is all out of whack and I am usually up at around 3 or 4 in the morning, and I think that is late in the day where you live. So I guess my getting up that early has its advantages ... I can "talk" to you!

I hope you are resting peacefully now and will be ready to take on the day with your job tomorrow. You are right; jobs should not be taken lightly and showing up for them is rather important. I wish you the best in your job, in your life, and with your sometimes strange and lonely and frightening nights. I know all about those.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, November 27, 2011 4:49:09 AMSubject: Re: Delusional thinking

Thank you for talking to me....I feel so scared to go to work tomorrow but I must go, it took me so long to get the job, I just can't write more applications or go for another interview....giving up is not what I can be anymore, (I wish...be careful what you wish for right).I appreciate you not making me feel silly for my behaviour. I stuck my tongue out for years (just quietly), in the clubs when I went out dancing and intermittently in my life when I felt a certain way. I have no doubt that it works in the moment. I wouldn't tell the white coats though (you're right about that for sure).Personally, I don't use the mirror much. I seem to view something different on occasions. I don't want it to sound weird...sometimes I feel like it is me looking and other times...well...I don't want to say really...Yes Helena..."Another day dawns, another reason to get up and get going."Sometimes I need a reminder.Maximum Respect! Thank you lovely,Lou >> > > Lou, that doesn't sound at all strange to me. I clench my jaws horribly when I am feeling tense and my dentist told me just keeping my mouth open a little - even putting something in it to keep it open, like a tongue depressor - will keep the tension from building. I am thinking that sticking your tongue out does much the same thing - relieves the tension. And even if relieving the muscle tension is not your motive, if it makes you feel better, do it. It is certainly a benign behavior and a perfectly healthy thing to do (unless you're in public; the white coats may come for you,  hehe!). Another thing that helps me is singing to myself - but not anything sad. Again, not advised if you're in public! > > > > When the tears come and make lines on my face, I sometimes find it best to just let them come. At other times, I look at my sad face in the mirror and smile. Just that tiny effort to smile can shift my mood. But sometimes nothing - NOTHING - will shift it and I just have to wait it out, sitting on my hands and watching the parade of thoughts march through my mind. Another day dawns, another reason to get up and get going. > > > > Wishing I could be there in person to give you a hug. > > > > Helena > > > > Delusional thinking > > > >  > > I'm sure you know those, "HAD ENOUGH" kind of days. I feel like I'm slipping and I want to stop it! I feel powerless, my body will do as it will, (the fucker!). I just wish to stop the crying...it's making lines on my face. Fuck I feel delusional, I can't believe anything, if I told you my beliefs you would not talk to me but I think you are right. I wish it would stop! Makes it hard to know what to believe. > > Please forgive me this honesty...oh shit I want to but I just can't say it! Sorry to go on...I guess I have nothing to say. > > I'm gonna get through this......despite the bloody crying and believing what is not really true at all. > > I want out of this body...out of this mind....>