Re: Need your help ...@helena:-)

[Guest guest]

Hi helena:-)

b4 i start, i just wanna thank you helena for all your recent posts about

values. I often get stuck in words, and their meanings, as i struggle with

reading and comprehension skills. While things seem to make sense in my head

most of the time;), when i try to express myself verbally, i am always

struggling, especially with concepts like 'value'. Sometimes my values r more

like goals, sometimes my goals r actually values, and sometimes whean i am so

stuck and frustrated ,i simply havta remind myself, " sarah, ur having the

thought that u r always struggling with words " . :-)

I get lost in the complexity of Act concepts sometimes, but then again, when i

actually APPLY ACT AT the time i am stuck with just that, I connect with it

from at it's core, and realize how simple ACT is.

But, bottom line, i am NOT confused in what action is needed in what direction,

so as long as i get the gist of ACT, i feel like i'm all good:-)

your explanations helps me a looooot when i have to explain this concept to both

my muslim and my non muslim friends from my x-therapy here. so thanks:-)

Jazakallah Khair. I will surely let you know how it goes.

About you being afraid of public speaking TOO:-), i wanna tell u a story, and u

swear right now in my mind i am saying " sarah, for god's sake PLEEEEAAAASE try

to make it brief!

What i do at my Public speaking clubS right now, I do 5-10 minute speeches

(without note cards), I do impromptu speeches (1-2 mins), & i do tasks like

evalaute others speakers, run the club meeting, introduce table topics etc etc.

This is one of the things that not just cause me IMMENSE anxiety, but something

in 'my wildest dream' i couldn't have imagined doing. After i did Joann's

Therapy, that's when i came back to LA, and said, Ok, here is what causes me

intense anxiety, so here is my best opportunity to practise 'acceptance,

expansion and compassion towards myself, and practise mindfulness, focusing on

the present moment, and the task at hand'. I saw it as my biggest oppurtunity to

practise all ACT principles together, hence i went for it, plus deeeeeeeeep down

inside that shy/timid/anxious being, there was passion for being able to speak

and connect to the people genuinely.

B4 that, this is how i was helena, sitting even in a group of 4 people, forget

non-muslims, who i feared immensely becoz of my attacks, but even muslims, if i

hadta introduce myself i could barely remeber my name and where i live (which is

speaking for 15 seconds max). Immense anxiety. With non-muslims i coulc't even

make eye contact from always feeling intimidated.

Toastmastres is full of very smart, intelligent people, excellent public

speakers, and also majority jewish (i am refering to my 2 clubs specifically) So

not only did i have to start speaking in front of them, but at the same time

speak about things that i was passionate about. religions, my exposure to 3

diff. types of religions (islam,christainity and hinduism), and what i learnt

from them. There was some strong negitively by some in the begining,becoz of

what was going on in the news, world issues and politics would often be brought

up in impromtu speeches, but when they got to know me as JUST , who is ALSO

a Muslim Woman , there was nothing but immense kindness and respect towards me,

alhamdulillah:-)

..

There r days i do wonderfully in my speeches and impromtus , then there r days

where sometimes i wanna ask myself " what the heck happened???!!! " , What i have

learnt from this is my anxiety always fluctuates,(as that's what can be

garanteed), but from my side what i prepare myself for is always asking " sarah,

how would u like to show up as today at the meeting? " , and my asnwer is " Today

i would like to show up as a genuine person, as who i am, so if it means as

someone who is expercing immense anxiety while delivering at that moment, then

be it that way! But i would also like to show up as someone who is not just

compassionte towards the audience, who she wants to connect with so much, but

can also show the same about of kindness and compassion towards herself and

towards whatever she is experecing at that moment " ..and that is what helps me

trhough every week, without coming home with any judgements or evaluations of my

expereinces of anxiety at the meetings:-)

If public speaking is something U LIKE , BUT anxiety has stopped u, then i would

say, let ur enemy become ur best freind. hold him so tight that he has no choice

but to declare defeat against ur love.

I use this principle when i deal with racism now, i can either kill em with

revenge or i can kill em with love, i prefer love. becoz that way i get the

oppurtunity to get to know one more new person and perhaps even make a friend

out of:-)

take care helena

wasalaam:-)