Guest guest Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 There truly is a real need for programs to teach higher social skills. I have only found the programs that are very difficult to comprehend, mostly for neurotypical teenagers. And of course the basic ones exist for those with low social skills, but there seems to be a hole in the higher social skills programs for the nearly recovered or recovered. Even the recovered still lack socially due to needing to catch up. Love and prayers, Heidi N > > Hi All - > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject. > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be. > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available. > > Thanks! > Kim > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2011 Report Share Posted September 18, 2011 I totally agree - nothing really exists in my neighbourhood that helps higher functioning kids learn those subtle social skills that are so important. It is so heartbreaking to watch the repeated rejection My children are so sweet and naive. They keep going back for more - to the same rotten kids - and come home in tears. Kim > > > > Hi All - > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject. > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be. > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available. > > > > Thanks! > > Kim > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 You might want to look at some of the books written by Winner. She specializes in the higher functioning kids. There are comic book style ones for kids and then also text type books for parents/therapists. The website is http://www.socialthinking.com/books-productsOn Sep 18, 2011, at 8:00 AM, Kim wrote:I totally agree - nothing really exists in my neighbourhood that helps higher functioning kids learn those subtle social skills that are so important. It is so heartbreaking to watch the repeated rejection My children are so sweet and naive. They keep going back for more - to the same rotten kids - and come home in tears.Kim > >> > Hi All - > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject.> > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be.> > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available.> > > > Thanks!> > Kim> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Thanks so much for the suggestion. I'll be sure to check it out! Kim > > > I totally agree - nothing really exists in my neighbourhood that > > helps higher functioning kids learn those subtle social skills that > > are so important. > > It is so heartbreaking to watch the repeated rejection My > > children are so sweet and naive. They keep going back for more - to > > the same rotten kids - and come home in tears. > > Kim > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: " Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread " by Simon Baron-Cohen http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237\ /ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477\ 821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1 We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack " Theory Of Mind " , the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits. Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this " in the moment " as well as one-to-one. We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to " be " a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school. I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.com My son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height! I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. Take care, > > > > > > Hi All - > > > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject. > > > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be. > > > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available. > > > > > > Thanks! > > > Kim > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hi ,I am chiming into your thread since I feel it is very interesting and taking advantage that you so much experience in the topic, I ask: since Human Relationships, intention, feelings and spontaneity are the biggest issue after a child is physically better, woulndt a child benefit greatly from a program like Son-Rise or RDI?? I am going for a son-rise training in a week and I am amazed at the depth / impact this playful - one on one - therapy can have on kids. Every area is well focused and impacts a different developmental aspect, which doesn't show at the first glance when one starts reading about it. Once I filled out the participant forms, I received a summary of aspects evaluated and goals to work for, every aspect giving a most accurate feedback on where my child is developmentally weak/weakest at this point. Do you have experience in this kind of in-home therapy? Or have seen others improve on it? I have the feeling l am heading in the right direction, and would love to help others know this possibility exists and is very good the youngest the child.Thank you for your comments!!Isa Enviado desde mi oficina móvil BlackBerry® de TelcelSender: BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:15:25 -0000To: <BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism >ReplyTo: BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism Subject: Re: OT - social skills Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: " Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread " by Simon Baron-Cohenhttp://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack " Theory Of Mind " , the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits.Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this " in the moment " as well as one-to-one. We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to " be " a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school.I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.comMy son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height!I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. Take care, > > >> > > Hi All - > > > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject.> > > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be.> > > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available.> > > > > > Thanks!> > > Kim> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hi ,I am just curious where you moved to get away from Lyme? I am still looking for that perfect place! Tammy F. Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: "Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread" by Simon Baron-Cohen http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1 We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack "Theory Of Mind", the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits. Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this "in the moment" as well as one-to-one. We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to "be" a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school. I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.com My son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height! I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. Take care, st currious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hi ; I'm so happy your son has successfully overcome his social " deficits " . Wonderful suggestions here...And thanks for offering to email you offlist - I will do so when I have some free time I'm pretty upset about how the new neighbourhood kids are treating my kids. Doing an awful lot of ruminating over it - which doesn't help at all. Anything constructive to help them would help our whole family. Blessings, Kim > > Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. > > The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: > > " Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread " by Simon Baron-Cohen > http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237\ /ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1 > > http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477\ 821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1 > > We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack " Theory Of Mind " , the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits. > > Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this " in the moment " as well as one-to-one. > > We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to " be " a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school. > > I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.com > > My son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. > > We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height! > > I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. > > I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. > > Take care, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 I also want to add that we have had really good luck with DIR/Floortime which works a LOT on higher level skills of not only perceiving what others' are thinking/feeling, but being able to reflect on ones own thoughts/feelings. This has been very good for my son, who has very good capacities, but can have a harder time when he's feeling a lot of anxiety. RuthHi ,I am chiming into your thread since I feel it is very interesting and taking advantage that you so much experience in the topic, I ask: since Human Relationships, intention, feelings and spontaneity are the biggest issue after a child is physically better, woulndt a child benefit greatly from a program like Son-Rise or RDI?? I am going for a son-rise training in a week and I am amazed at the depth / impact this playful - one on one - therapy can have on kids. Every area is well focused and impacts a different developmental aspect, which doesn't show at the first glance when one starts reading about it. Once I filled out the participant forms, I received a summary of aspects evaluated and goals to work for, every aspect giving a most accurate feedback on where my child is developmentally weak/weakest at this point. Do you have experience in this kind of in-home therapy? Or have seen others improve on it? I have the feeling l am heading in the right direction, and would love to help others know this possibility exists and is very good the youngest the child.Thank you for your comments!!IsaEnviado desde mi oficina móvil BlackBerry® de TelcelSender: BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:15:25 -0000To: <BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism >ReplyTo: BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism Subject: Re: OT - social skills Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: "Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread" by Simon Baron-Cohenhttp://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack "Theory Of Mind", the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits.Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this "in the moment" as well as one-to-one. We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to "be" a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school.I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.comMy son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height!I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. Take care, > > >> > > Hi All - > > > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject.> > > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be.> > > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available.> > > > > > Thanks!> > > Kim> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hi Isa. Yes, I have heard of Son - Rise achieving big success in the social skills department. It sounds very exciting Isa, and seems like it really resonates with you. You will have to fill us in on how it goes! I don't know anyone directly, and ages ago I did try to get access to their programming to see what it was all about. I wasn't able to find anything, and eventually lost interest. I do know of one girl fully recovered from RDI. The mom is incredible, and she had very experienced people work with her, including an amazing speech path trained in RDI. I have read all the RDI practitioner books, and so I can say they do cover Theory Of Mind (they call it Primacy Of MInds). It's another approach to " teaching them to learn " , the essence of theory of mind training. Once they know how to learn, then the possibilities are endless, especially if their physical health is being addressed! As I mentioned earlier about our move, I was pretty nervous if all our therapy would slowly unravel once EVERYTHING was different - house, school, friends, climate. But, he did amazing. His tics worsened under stress, and perhaps grief, but that lasted just the first few months. Then he settled in. Talk about a theory of mind test - he had to figure it all out on his own. 5th grade! I mean, it wasn't like when he was little, and I could guide him at a play date, and be able to observe. I prefer the Theory of Mind materials - I find them easier to understand than RDI, and more balanced between parent and practitioner. Most parents work, so it's hard to really clip along with a parent=driven therapy. But, as I always say, it's not about the brand, it's about the talent, the person. Whomever is at your doorstep is ultimately what matters. I think it's a very personal decision based on the individual, and also where you live and have access to. The good news is that there are now a few approaches out there that " teach them to learn " , ABA-NET and RDI, and perhaps Son Rise (you will have to fill us in). ABA-NET and RDI are also taught in the home environment (one-to-one, or in a social setting with family/friends). The child determines how many hours for each based on their goals and objectives. I know numerous recovered children like Leo whom have been diagnosed by an autism clinic, and have also been taken off the spectrum by no longer qualifying. They may have varying degrees of health problems, or visual spacial issues, or require some kind of therapy like OT, but no longer have this theory of mind deficit. The hard part is that the info is not being shared by parents and by the practitioners (for competition reasons) with the general public. Therefore, most people don't think it exists. Sadly, it's moms like us that are educating others about Lyme, theory of mind, and so on. I list the few practitioners I know of that do Theory Of Mind. The RDI practitioner I mentioned no longer practices, so she is not listed. Good luck with everything Isa. I have learned so much from your posts the last year or so. I am sure you will make some good gains with the therapy you will try next. > > > > > > > > Hi All - > > > > > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject. > > > > > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be. > > > > > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available. > > > > > > > > Thanks! > > > > Kim > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Well, my " perfect " place was where my husband found job! LOL We ended up in Portland Oregon. It has way less than CT, but it certainly has Lyme. My daughter is still on Lyme treatment, we've been through hell and back with her, like many of us. Getting her well is one thing, but then to risk reinfection on her very weak immune system was just too much stress. So, we left everything behind, the life we built, all our friends, took a bath on our house, and moved. It has been a great move for us. It is actually cheaper to live here, people in general are more open and live more like all of us do. They know what gluten is! haha My friend who golfs a lot just had acute Lyme disease. Bells Palsy, so I forced her to go to our local ND. So there you go. It's inner city now, not just eastern oregon or on the coast. > > Hi ,I am just curious where you moved to get away from Lyme? I am > still looking for that perfect place! Tammy F. > > > > Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth > > for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with > > Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. > > > > The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used > > them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: > > > > " Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread " by Simon Baron-Cohen > > http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237\ /ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1 > > <http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/047197623\ 7/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1> > > > > http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477\ 821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1 > > <http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/188547\ 7821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1> > > > > We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism > > (regardless of cause) is they lack " Theory Of Mind " , the ability to > > mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This > > social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some > > other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning > > deficits. > > > > Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching > > theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be > > taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social > > information. We did this " in the moment " as well as one-to-one. > > > > We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and > > came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it > > into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be > > taught how to " be " a certain age, as he has been given the fishing > > pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at > > school. > > > > I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high > > functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may > > like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains > > what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.com > > > > My son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final > > piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be > > treated for Lyme. > > > > We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned > > beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good > > friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's > > been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I > > continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is > > a happy dude that is almost my height! > > > > I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind > > info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It > > is listed on my site. > > > > I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me > > off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! > > Which is why I read this group religiously. > > > > Take care, st currious > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 thank you for your prompt response, I am very excited about the program and will with certainty let the group hear about my experience. If you want to read more about the topic, just google "the option institute for autism" and you will get a lot of info, you can even ask for a free CD that explains more about the approach.blessings to all!isaDe: hiddenrecovery Para: BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism Enviado: Lunes, 19 de septiembre, 2011 18:36:35Asunto: Re: OT - social skills Hi Isa. Yes, I have heard of Son - Rise achieving big success in the social skills department. It sounds very exciting Isa, and seems like it really resonates with you. You will have to fill us in on how it goes! I don't know anyone directly, and ages ago I did try to get access to their programming to see what it was all about. I wasn't able to find anything, and eventually lost interest. I do know of one girl fully recovered from RDI. The mom is incredible, and she had very experienced people work with her, including an amazing speech path trained in RDI. I have read all the RDI practitioner books, and so I can say they do cover Theory Of Mind (they call it Primacy Of MInds). It's another approach to "teaching them to learn" , the essence of theory of mind training. Once they know how to learn, then the possibilities are endless, especially if their physical health is being addressed! As I mentioned earlier about our move, I was pretty nervous if all our therapy would slowly unravel once EVERYTHING was different - house, school, friends, climate. But, he did amazing. His tics worsened under stress, and perhaps grief, but that lasted just the first few months. Then he settled in. Talk about a theory of mind test - he had to figure it all out on his own. 5th grade! I mean, it wasn't like when he was little, and I could guide him at a play date, and be able to observe. I prefer the Theory of Mind materials - I find them easier to understand than RDI, and more balanced between parent and practitioner. Most parents work, so it's hard to really clip along with a parent=driven therapy. But, as I always say, it's not about the brand, it's about the talent, the person. Whomever is at your doorstep is ultimately what matters. I think it's a very personal decision based on the individual, and also where you live and have access to. The good news is that there are now a few approaches out there that "teach them to learn", ABA-NET and RDI, and perhaps Son Rise (you will have to fill us in). ABA-NET and RDI are also taught in the home environment (one-to-one, or in a social setting with family/friends). The child determines how many hours for each based on their goals and objectives. I know numerous recovered children like Leo whom have been diagnosed by an autism clinic, and have also been taken off the spectrum by no longer qualifying. They may have varying degrees of health problems, or visual spacial issues, or require some kind of therapy like OT, but no longer have this theory of mind deficit. The hard part is that the info is not being shared by parents and by the practitioners (for competition reasons) with the general public. Therefore, most people don't think it exists. Sadly, it's moms like us that are educating others about Lyme, theory of mind, and so on. I list the few practitioners I know of that do Theory Of Mind. The RDI practitioner I mentioned no longer practices, so she is not listed. Good luck with everything Isa. I have learned so much from your posts the last year or so. I am sure you will make some good gains with the therapy you will try next. > > > > > > > > Hi All - > > > > > > > > This topic may be slightly off topic for this group, but I know many parents here have probably dealt with this subject. > > > > > > > > All of my ASD children have difficulty with social skills. We have recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and they have once again become the target of mean spirited children. I call it indirect bullying - not being included, hurtful demeaning remarks, being used for their toys etc. We all know how kids can be. > > > > > > > > Has anyone read any really good books advising how to very simply help kids gain social skills... especially how to build up self confidence and self worth when your peers are repeatedly rejecting you? > > > > > > > > There aren't any social skills groups running in my area, but I will be enrolling them in a group if one becomes available. > > > > > > > > Thanks! > > > > Kim > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 People like that just piss me off! Sorry I don't have any wonderful ideas. What are the parents like? Are they the type you can invite over for coffee and explain that you need a little help with the inclusion, feeling welcome, some empathy? Look who has no perspective taking, the ones without autism! I have had to do that a few times with some of my kids' friends. I didn't even wait to talk to the parents. I sat them down during halloween time, and gave a speech about " Imagine going door to door getting candy, and then not be able to eat it? That is what it's like for Sydney. " Mean mommy. p.s. times like these I think of doing a " drive by " lol What can I say, I am from Los Angeles > > > > Hi Kim. i feel your pain. When my son was little I scoured the earth for social programs in books, therapies, and materials. I agree with Heidi, there is really a deficit here in programming available. > > > > The ones we ended up using were not perfect for my son, but we used them as a baseline, and changed them to fit him. They are: > > > > " Teaching Children With Autism To Mindread " by Simon Baron-Cohen > > http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Children-Autism-Mind-Read-Practical/dp/0471976237\ /ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465851 & sr=8-1 > > > > http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Social-World-Individuals-Functioning/dp/1885477\ 821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1316465938 & sr=8-1 > > > > We discovered through our therapy team that the core deficit of autism (regardless of cause) is they lack " Theory Of Mind " , the ability to mind-read, read others' intentions, thoughts, motives, desires. This social disconnect is what separates them from a SI or ADHD or some other disorder. We also focused big time on executive functioning deficits. > > > > Through talented ABA-NET therapists that had experience in teaching theory of mind, Leo eventually learned how to do this - he had to be taught facial expressions, body language, where to find social information. We did this " in the moment " as well as one-to-one. > > > > We parents learned as much as we could by copying the therapists, and came up with our own ways to carryover therapy at home and weave it into everyday life. I can now say that my son does not need to be taught how to " be " a certain age, as he has been given the fishing pole rather than the fish, through lots of therapy time at home and at school. > > > > I have kept a blog for years journaling our experience with high functioning autism and the very thing you are talking about. You may like to read my ABANET article listed on the homepage, which explains what we did. My blog is: http://www.hiddenrecovery.com > > > > My son has been recovered since 2004, although we found the final piece to the health puzzle 3 years ago that he also needed to be treated for Lyme. > > > > We moved two years ago out of Lyme Hell (CT). My son has transitioned beautifully (moving as a 5th grader is no fun, right?), and has good friends, and continues to maintain his BFF relationship in CT (he's been out 2 times, and us one time). He amazes me every day, and I continue to learn from him. He is the healthiest in our family, and is a happy dude that is almost my height! > > > > I also published an advice book that contains tons of Theory Of Mind info - like how to weave it into home life, if you are interested. It is listed on my site. > > > > I would also be happy to brainstorm any time if you want to email me off list. My strength is here, not with biomed like the gurus here! Which is why I read this group religiously. > > > > Take care, > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2011 Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 I'd second the recommendation on Winner's program. You can buy the texts on her website that teaches you how to implement the program and you can also try to find a practitioner who has been trained in her program on the website also and see if that person teaches group social skill classes. My son did a class with a speech therapist trained by and he enjoyed it. 's foundational program is called " Thinking About You Thinking About Me " which lays out a program for teaching the " mind reading " skills that was also mentioned. When my son was younger, he enjoyed the comic style books for kids with SuperFlex (the flexible mind super hero) fighting the villains (all negative social behaviors). She also has a book on teen social skills. Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2011 Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 LOL, " drive by " ... yes there are some days... The parents of the worst kid of the bunch are actually great people - just have a rotten spoiled kid. The kind of kid that turns all the other kids against your kids... secret telling, forming clubs they can't join, name calling... any reason to exclude them from playing with the group of kids. But all of them are pretty insensitive as a bunch. I've spoken to the parents about autism, and the social angst they experience everyday. Everyone is pretty understanding, however most of them say they like the kids to " work it out " amongst themselves. One of the parents saw some cruelty and was openly angry with her daughter, and reprimanded her - which was good - but this kid is continually awful. I'm trying to get my kids to stay away from her/them for now, until I can get a grip on my own feelings too. I want to constructively help my kids and not cause more friction (and reasons for bullying) by my potentially blowing up at these kids. sigh. Kim > > People like that just piss me off! Sorry I don't have any wonderful ideas. > > What are the parents like? Are they the type you can invite over for coffee and explain that you need a little help with the inclusion, feeling welcome, some empathy? Look who has no perspective taking, the ones without autism! > > I have had to do that a few times with some of my kids' friends. I didn't even wait to talk to the parents. I sat them down during halloween time, and gave a speech about " Imagine going door to door getting candy, and then not be able to eat it? That is what it's like for Sydney. " Mean mommy. > > p.s. times like these I think of doing a " drive by " lol What can I say, I am from Los Angeles > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2011 Report Share Posted September 21, 2011 I tell my kids that there are nice people and not nice people. Choose the nice ones. I wouldn't want my kids hanging around those kind of people, even if they were accepted into the club. I wouldn't want them to copy that kind of behavior. It may take a while to find some nice kids, but it's worth the wait. Here in the South, parents verbally reprimand others' kids all the time. Trust your gut instincts. If you feel uncomfortable about others' behaviors, express your views. When my kids have gotten bullied, I complained and it stopped. Love and prayers, Heidi N > > > > People like that just piss me off! Sorry I don't have any wonderful ideas. > > > > What are the parents like? Are they the type you can invite over for coffee and explain that you need a little help with the inclusion, feeling welcome, some empathy? Look who has no perspective taking, the ones without autism! > > > > I have had to do that a few times with some of my kids' friends. I didn't even wait to talk to the parents. I sat them down during halloween time, and gave a speech about " Imagine going door to door getting candy, and then not be able to eat it? That is what it's like for Sydney. " Mean mommy. > > > > p.s. times like these I think of doing a " drive by " lol What can I say, I am from Los Angeles > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2011 Report Share Posted September 21, 2011 Thanks Heidi. Yes, I'm sure I'll be reprimanding them in the near future. I've definitely had enough of it. The neighbourhood that I have moved into is a little cliquey so I guess I'm afraid of being labelled (mainly by the adults) as the pushy bitchy mom But these kids have definitely got to learn some respect. They've lipped me off too... I just can't believe some kids. When I was that age I would have NEVER treated an adult with disrespect, and would never have treated other kids the way they are treating mine. Thanks for letting me vent here... I really felt like I was going to explode the other day! Kim > > I tell my kids that there are nice people and not nice people. Choose the nice ones. I wouldn't want my kids hanging around those kind of people, even if they were accepted into the club. I wouldn't want them to copy that kind of behavior. It may take a while to find some nice kids, but it's worth the wait. Here in the South, parents verbally reprimand others' kids all the time. Trust your gut instincts. If you feel uncomfortable about others' behaviors, express your views. When my kids have gotten bullied, I complained and it stopped. > > Love and prayers, > > Heidi N > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Well Kim, you have your work cut out for you! I truly hope it works out where your kids end up playing together. I would do the same thing, avoid them until you come up with a plan with your children. It's hard to have neighbors that you must avoid. I really hate the cop out of that kids will " work it out " . They need to LEARN how to communicate appropriately. These parents must be wimps,overwhelmed themselves, or lack the skills themselves to communicate? Unfortunately, when parents don't provide boundaries, they end up raising unhappy kids that are not capable of handling everything on their own. Of course they can't, they are kids! It is quite overwhelming for a child to make all their own decisions. In the end, kids want, crave boundaries. Typical or not, this is global. I second what Heidi is saying. I guide my kids to make boundaries for bad behavior. They have had to tell friends " I don't want to play with you anymore because you X, Y, and Z. " Amazing what happens when YOUR child changes THEIR behavior. When those kids no longer have the power, the control, they have nothing over your kids. Then the tables can turn. Having recently moved, I saw the effect my kids had on the other kids at school. They caused a lot of friction second hand, as their new friends paid them some attention. It brought up some insecurities, especially with the girls. There had to be a lot of validation on everyone's part. My daughter entered a " threesome that became her closet friends, totally four. But for a while there was jealousy for one of the girls. Sigh. I do have one other idea. Does it work to have ONE of the kids over for a play date that is closely supervised. One that they get along with the best? Perhaps one-to-one the child will be more themselves (no pack mentality), and that some barriers can be broken. It only takes one to get an in and be eventually accepted. Maybe you've already done this, as it sounds like you've talked a lot to these people! As I always say, parenting is not for sissies! Please keep us posted! > > > > People like that just piss me off! Sorry I don't have any wonderful ideas. > > > > What are the parents like? Are they the type you can invite over for coffee and explain that you need a little help with the inclusion, feeling welcome, some empathy? Look who has no perspective taking, the ones without autism! > > > > I have had to do that a few times with some of my kids' friends. I didn't even wait to talk to the parents. I sat them down during halloween time, and gave a speech about " Imagine going door to door getting candy, and then not be able to eat it? That is what it's like for Sydney. " Mean mommy. > > > > p.s. times like these I think of doing a " drive by " lol What can I say, I am from Los Angeles > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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