'listening time'

[Guest guest]

thank you for the kind words about my film and me. There have been a couple of

questions about 'listening time' which I mentioned in my intro. It's a process I

used for many years within the framework of Re-evaluation Counselling, a

peer-based counselling network, with info at www.rc.org. I haven't been part of

that organisation for quite some time but still use the basic principles with a

couple of people twice a week. We say hello, set the timer for, in our case,

just 15 minutes each, decide who's going first, and the other person makes a

conscious decision to set aside their own stories and trigger points and

judgement and advice and just be another conscious awareness, a witness to the

other person for that time. It is recognised that crying, trembling, laughing,

yawning, sweating, and talking (in a non-automaton kind of way) are all part of

the healing process. And because our society has confused the healing with the

hurt for so long (eg crying is seen as the problem rather than the 'washing of

the brain' as I call it) there is a backlog in most people. It is a process I

have found useful. As a parent I really value the site,

www.handinhandparenting.org as they also make use of listening partnerships as a

way of getting support as a parent.

I must say I am loving ACT now that I am getting what defusion is all about. I

have followed my mind down so many rabbit holes in my life. In my last session

with my therapist I got it that I just need to think of defusion as an unused

flabby muscle and the more I excercise it the stronger it will function.

cheers