Re: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

[Guest guest]

Hi - My grading scale is quite subjective. It's important to practice lots of self-compassion when using such a method. It's also important to keep your expectations reasonable so you have a good chance to earn an A. Of course it's important to have a really clear picture of your values. It's pretty hard to live a valued life if one doesn't have a clear picture of one's values!!!The letter grade I earn is the result of all the decisions I make in a day. And, a decision to do nothing is still a decision!BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: warriorprincessz@...Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:50:49 -0800Subject: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

I'm finding the defusion discussion useful. I'm still at the stage of believing the thoughts most of the time, which makes for a painful time.I like the idea Bill of grading your day based on success in heading in the direction of a valued life, rather than of feelings felt. 'It's just a step to the right....put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight'

[Guest guest]

Funny, I'm trying to work with being OK with just being enough without doing anything. I've found that no achievement seems to be enough for me to be OK with myself. At the end of the day, I look at valued action with satisfaction but while I'm living it, I'm just eaten up with anxiety.I'm working on giving myself a chance to get an A, too. My standard of values is that nothing I do is ever enough or so it seems. Maybe I'm not clear enough on what is realistic in this world. But I'd like to get there to have a chance at a feeling of well-being.Bruce Hi - My grading scale is quite subjective. It's important to practice lots of self-compassion when using such a method. It's also important to keep your expectations reasonable so you have a good chance to earn an A. Of course it's important to have a really clear picture of your values. It's pretty hard to live a valued life if one doesn't have a clear picture of one's values!!!The letter grade I earn is the result of all the decisions I make in a day. And, a decision to do nothing is still a decision!BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: warriorprincessz@...Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:50:49 -0800Subject: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions I'm finding the defusion discussion useful. I'm still at the stage of believing the thoughts most of the time, which makes for a painful time.I like the idea Bill of grading your day based on success in heading in the direction of a valued life, rather than of feelings felt. 'It's just a step to the right....put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight'

[Guest guest]

Hi there. I'm glad you clarified that. I prefer to simply take a look see and

notice what is working and what isn't without adding evaluation since my mind

tends to do that plenty enough on it's own and I don't need to feed that hungry

tiger! Grading behavior with a letter at the end of the day can so easily lend

itself to lots of un-necessary judgment of self and others and result in yet

more objectification. It's good to be reflective and honest about our process

and progress, but do hold lightly and compassionately, remembering it's all a

process and you/we are each inherently perfect, whole, enough.

In other words, the " A " grade is already there. Now what do you choose?

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> Hi - My grading scale is quite subjective. It's important to practice

lots of self-compassion when using such a method. It's also important to keep

your expectations reasonable so you have a good chance to earn an A. Of course

it's important to have a really clear picture of your values. It's pretty hard

to live a valued life if one doesn't have a clear picture of one's values!!!

> The letter grade I earn is the result of all the decisions I make in a day.

And, a decision to do nothing is still a decision!

> Bill

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> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: warriorprincessz@...

> Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:50:49 -0800

> Subject: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of

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> I'm finding the defusion discussion useful. I'm still at the stage of

believing the thoughts most of the time, which makes for a painful time.I like

the idea Bill of grading your day based on success in heading in the direction

of a valued life, rather than of feelings felt. 'It's just a step to the

right....put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight'

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bill, ,

...only trouble I have in the grading method is that it sets me up to beat myself up...'Ah a valued day = good little me' Sitting on my hands day = bad little me= beat up, beat up, beat up...

So for me, I really do have to remember to bring in compassion..just a thought. And what if you can't shake the thought that your life is a great big E grade?!....Defusion...

Simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Thursday, 1 December 2011, 1:56Subject: RE: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

Hi - My grading scale is quite subjective. It's important to practice lots of self-compassion when using such a method. It's also important to keep your expectations reasonable so you have a good chance to earn an A. Of course it's important to have a really clear picture of your values. It's pretty hard to live a valued life if one doesn't have a clear picture of one's values!!!

The letter grade I earn is the result of all the decisions I make in a day. And, a decision to do nothing is still a decision!

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: warriorprincessz@...Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:50:49 -0800Subject: Defusion WAS : Noticing the ebb and flow of emotions

I'm finding the defusion discussion useful. I'm still at the stage of believing the thoughts most of the time, which makes for a painful time.

I like the idea Bill of grading your day based on success in heading in the direction of a valued life, rather than of feelings felt.

'It's just a step to the right....put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight'