Re: How Are Your Partners Coping

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Great subject. We've been married 25 years and I was diagnosed about 12 years

into our marriage. We were busy with four kids and it seems that the total

impact of my decline didn't really show until after our kids were grown and the

house was empty except for us. He's a great person, attentive, and caring;

however, the stress of being with someone who has a lifelong medical problems

definitely has an impact for better or worse. Like you, I've taken my own sense

of frustration out on my husband (and myself just to be fair ;-) I always feel

terrible afterward, but over the past five or so years, I have gotten much

better at catching the mood before it strikes and going off to a room by myself

until the mood passes. Always those moments though where it just hits and I

strike before I can do anything about it.

There was a great article in an AARP magazine about caregivers and ways to

manage their stress, how to advocate for the person they care for, and some good

resources for support groups (online versions). I gave the article to my

husband and for the first time since I was diagnosed, he was interested in

online support groups for caregivers. I'm 49 and he's 51 - guess just old

enough to start getting these AARP magazines.

How about others?

Kathy

How Are Your Partners Coping

Now that Valentine's Day has passed, I am curious about how your spouses,

lovers, partners cope with your problems.

I have been married for 42 years. The negative outcome from my TC

surgeries

in January 2010 has definitely put a strain on our relationship. My husband

roomed in with me in the hospital and has been absolutely wonderful, by my

side

24/7. But " for better or worse " gets old. He is doing all the cooking,

shopping, laundry, and driving. I hate needing all that help and must admit

to

taking my frustration out on him. I wouldn't want to be married to me right

now.

[Guest guest]

My husband has been incredibly supportive and has taken on most of the cooking,

laundry, etc. But, having a spouse with a chronic medical condition (and pain)

is definitely putting a strain on our marriage. I hope that my healing

continues and I will be able to contribute more soon.

Unfortunately, my husband was diagnosed with cancer just six weeks before I had

surgery to detether. Although it was quite a shock, I am glad that I had an

opportunity to take care of him after his surgery (and before mine).

Nonetheless, we are using fung shui for good health in our home;)

>

> Hi ,

>

> Great subject. We've been married 25 years and I was diagnosed about 12 years

into our marriage. We were busy with four kids and it seems that the total

impact of my decline didn't really show until after our kids were grown and the

house was empty except for us. He's a great person, attentive, and caring;

however, the stress of being with someone who has a lifelong medical problems

definitely has an impact for better or worse. Like you, I've taken my own sense

of frustration out on my husband (and myself just to be fair ;-) I always feel

terrible afterward, but over the past five or so years, I have gotten much

better at catching the mood before it strikes and going off to a room by myself

until the mood passes. Always those moments though where it just hits and I

strike before I can do anything about it.

>

> There was a great article in an AARP magazine about caregivers and ways to

manage their stress, how to advocate for the person they care for, and some good

resources for support groups (online versions). I gave the article to my

husband and for the first time since I was diagnosed, he was interested in

online support groups for caregivers. I'm 49 and he's 51 - guess just old

enough to start getting these AARP magazines.

>

> How about others?

>

> Kathy

>

>

> How Are Your Partners Coping

>

>

>

> Now that Valentine's Day has passed, I am curious about how your

spouses,

> lovers, partners cope with your problems.

> I have been married for 42 years. The negative outcome from my TC

surgeries

> in January 2010 has definitely put a strain on our relationship. My husband

> roomed in with me in the hospital and has been absolutely wonderful, by my

side

> 24/7. But " for better or worse " gets old. He is doing all the cooking,

> shopping, laundry, and driving. I hate needing all that help and must admit

to

> taking my frustration out on him. I wouldn't want to be married to me right

> now.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I just saw a movie called " Love and Other Drugs " , it's not THAT complex of a

movie, but it does show a young woman with Parkinson's and her love life... as

well as a relationship in general.Kind of broke me down yesterday.My husband is

pretty supportive. I do laundry and some cleaning, but he does the bulk of it

since I really have NO energy to do anything. I work full time and by the time

I get home I'm a zombie.The pain effects everything we do, and as soon as I got

that under control my legs and hands started to go numb!We are newlyweds,

married July 2010 before my diagnosis. He was great when the surgery happened.

But I always feel like I still can rely only on myself, I feel bad that I'm

unable to do a lot of the things we should be doing.

I feel very guilty and sometimes wonder if he wishes he married someone else? 

Subject: How Are Your Partners Coping

To: tetheredspinalcord

Date: Tuesday, February 15, 2011, 6:01 PM

 

    Now that Valentine's Day has passed, I am curious about how your

spouses,

lovers, partners cope with your problems.

    I have been married for 42 years.  The negative outcome from my TC

surgeries

in January 2010 has definitely put a strain on our relationship.  My husband

roomed in with me in the hospital and has been absolutely wonderful, by my side

24/7.  But " for better or worse " gets old.  He is doing all the cooking,

shopping, laundry, and driving.  I hate needing all that help and must admit to

taking my frustration out on him.  I wouldn't want to be married to me right

now.