Guest guest Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I understand how you feel. My work is now enormously stressful nowadys and I am very tired because of it, but each day I go in a face it again. And at the weekends I socialise when I would just sooner not do much at all. I think about compassion but I show none to myself, it seems, as I just keep forcing myself always forward. All 'buts' have been turned to 'ands', but now, after many months of ceaseless trying and effort I am putting on weight, not sleeping well at all, I unable to think straight at work and forget things in a jiffy. I fear that the enormousd stress will make me diabetic because it causes me to gain weight by messing up my blood suger. I need a rest, and all 'ands' should be turned to 'buts', but my inner critic will not allow it: 'Weakling', 'Quitter', it will probalbly shout at me. But perhaps there is a limit to what the body can take. , Kv > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I was doing overtime a few days back when three very difficult faults turned up. Two of faults were types that had never occured before and I was baffled as to what had gone wrong. All lof a sudden total fear struck and I just seemed to completely break down. My first thought was suicide - just end it - but that soon went. Then the next thought was juist go home and go to bed, but I knew the fear of going back to work again would become greater. I felt I had no way out so I went for willingnes, where it doesn't matter how bad the pain and suffering is, you just go throught it. With only about 10% thinking capacity and filled with fear, I eventually, after a couple of hours, sorted one job out. The second fault on another machine self rectified and seemed to be okay. I then went and sorted out the third problem. Later on that day I felt enormously proud of taking on such fear and facing it, and then I noticed how lovely the sunshine had become when I looked through the windows of the dreary factory where I work. But today I could not bear the thought of going back there again, although I did go. One day I might decide to get a job in a garden centre watering the plants. Kv > > > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > > intestines, actually doing damage. > > > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > > How can you tell the difference? > > > > > > Jeff Beres > > ----------------- > > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > > ~jberes5/horror.htm > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 WONDERFUL email kv..jazakallah khair for sharing it. wasalaam:-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: akaivey@...Date: Mon, 5 Dec 2011 18:38:29 +0000Subject: Re: demons with claws I was doing overtime a few days back when three very difficult faults turned up. Two of faults were types that had never occured before and I was baffled as to what had gone wrong. All lof a sudden total fear struck and I just seemed to completely break down. My first thought was suicide - just end it - but that soon went. Then the next thought was juist go home and go to bed, but I knew the fear of going back to work again would become greater. I felt I had no way out so I went for willingnes, where it doesn't matter how bad the pain and suffering is, you just go throught it. With only about 10% thinking capacity and filled with fear, I eventually, after a couple of hours, sorted one job out. The second fault on another machine self rectified and seemed to be okay. I then went and sorted out the third problem. Later on that day I felt enormously proud of taking on such fear and facing it, and then I noticed how lovely the sunshine had become when I looked through the windows of the dreary factory where I work. But today I could not bear the thought of going back there again, although I did go. One day I might decide to get a job in a garden centre watering the plants. Kv > > > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" > > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > > intestines, actually doing damage. > > > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > > How can you tell the difference? > > > > > > Jeff Beres > > ----------------- > > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > > ~jberes5/horror.htm > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I started to draft two replies to this before realising I just don't have an answer - but I am very interested in other people's replies because this seems very important. It sounds like successfully working with your emotions and feelings would reduce your physical response - so keep heading in the ACT direction. Remember, avoidance only makes things worse, and will gradually creep in on you and start affecting other aspects of your life too. How long before avoiding travelling becomes avoiding taking the bus, becomes avoiding driving anywhere, becomes avoiding popping next door.....? But I can see how the colitis adds a nasty dimension to the consequences of not getting it right once in a while. Hope you get some good answers To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 5 December 2011, 17:28 Subject: demons with claws Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo-anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my intestines, actually doing damage. I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. How can you tell the difference? Jeff Beres-----------------Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/~jberes5/horror.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 The thing is I switched to writing short stories and novels. I have no problem with them. In fact my second short story is being published in the spring. i also had the colitis problem with my programming job. And that I definitely knew was because programming was just not me. It was against my nature. I retired and kept on writing screenplays and the colitis stayed with me. Now I'm thinking maybe the screenwriting was also against my nature. It's a very aggressive business and it's next to impossible to sell something if you don't live in L.A. So I'm starting to think my body is trying to tell me something. About five years ago, my script placed in the quarterfinals of the Nicholl Screenwriting Fellowship, which is basically the only contest that matters to producers and agents. I got about 30 emails asking to read the script. One agent read it and liked it and wanted to have a phone conference to discuss representation. The conference was a week away. My colitis kicked in full force. I missed time from work and eventually emailed the agent and cancelled the appointment. OTOH, I love movies. So I don't know. I'm on a screenwriting discussion group and I'd say 90% of the active posters to that list have switched to writing novels and they're having a lot of success, especially with the ease of self publishing these days. And so many movies are made from novels. I'm thinking this may be a more realistic way in. And my wife says she thinks I'm more of a novelist anyway. I just don't want to throw 17 years of screenwriting out the window if it's just an avoidance thing. But whenever I commit to working on screenplays for awhile, the colitis kicks in. And it's hard to sit with it if I'm constantly running to the john. That's no way to live. I started to draft two replies to this before realising I just don't have an answer - but I am very interested in other people's replies because this seems very important. It sounds like successfully working with your emotions and feelings would reduce your physical response - so keep heading in the ACT direction. Remember, avoidance only makes things worse, and will gradually creep in on you and start affecting other aspects of your life too. How long before avoiding travelling becomes avoiding taking the bus, becomes avoiding driving anywhere, becomes avoiding popping next door.....? But I can see how the colitis adds a nasty dimension to the consequences of not getting it right once in a while. Hope you get some good answers To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Monday, 5 December 2011, 17:28 Subject: demons with claws Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo-anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my intestines, actually doing damage. I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. How can you tell the difference? Jeff Beres-----------------Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/~jberes5/horror.htm Jeff Beres-----------------Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/~jberes5/horror.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thankyou, Lou, for your kind words, my soul is tormented at the moment and your post is much appreciated. Kv > > > > > > > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > > > > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 > > years > > > > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a > > turbo- > > > > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much > > sideline > > > > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. > > it > > > > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > > > > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > > > > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > > > > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > > > > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > > > > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > > > > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > > > > intestines, actually doing damage. > > > > > > > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > > > > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling > > me. > > > > How can you tell the difference? > > > > > > > > > > > > Jeff Beres > > > > ----------------- > > > > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: > > http://home.comcast.net/ > > > > ~jberes5/horror.htm > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 Hi Jeff, Only just joined this group, and just started working through the ACT books. Definitely finding it helpful, but you did ask the question that I have been wondering about a lot. There definitely have been times where the demons have felt like they had claws they can use to injure, and have at times had experiences broadly similar to the ones you talk about - physical reactions to thoughts and situations that have made it pretty difficult to do certain things - even with the best will in the world. Also with things like high blood pressure caused by chronic stress, or even stress/anxiety raising levels of cortisol in your body (which some people think make be pretty bad for you if experienced chronically). I also am wondering what the take on this would be? From what I know of ACT so far I am thinking that the reasoning might be something like - it's not the demons that are doing this directly, but our reactions to what the demons are saying that cause these problems. Maybe adding it into the bus metaphor might be: the demons on the bus aren't actually hurting you, but they are guiding us to drive into some quite perilous places, where we could get hurt. (or is this stretching things too far?) I guess where this falls down though, as you mention is the fact this happens when you (as has also happend to me) are trying to move in a valued direction. Saying all that it sounds like working on novels is a much better option... I've been involved with some film work and I definitely didn't find it to be the most relaxing industry! Is there anyone out there with more experience of ACT that has any insights into this? > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 The mind says that the claws demand struggle.Unfortunately, struggle is what gives them claws.It is true that by backing away things calm downover the short run  ... but life also narrows down. And as life gets smaller it gets harder toback away. The cost is too high.And it is true that valued activity gets the demons going again.We hurt where we care and stepping into new territory evokes fear. Duh.The solution is to practice, to be gentle with yourself, and take baby stepswhile being open and curious about your own processes.Leaps are possible but if they are forced in a judgmental, mindy way they tend not to work anyway. The only kind of leaps that are safe are leaps of abandonment / faith / true giving up / or vitality. But you can't mentally demand such things because you only find the courage to take such leaps from places the logical mind does not understand -- places like the wholeness of self, spirituality (not necessarily in any religious sense,tho that too), creative hopelessness, pain, exhaustion, boredom ... and yeah,values. But not the kind of values that are linked to e-value-ation. The kind that are liked to leaps of love and caring and being true to yourself.On the other side of growth you realize your could have leaped.The mind will chatter on about that of course ( " time wasted " etc). [make raspberry sounds here]. Sue me for living.Meanwhile, unless you are moved to leap (no need to say that really, since the kind of leaps I'm talking about above I could not stop with a pathetic little email anyway), themore usual course ahead is practice and baby steps.The key is to practice the right thing. Gentle. Open. Mindfulness. Curious. My goofy advice for the day if you own and iPhone(I think it is also on Android):If you are thinking of taking a small step, and your mindis being a bossy, critical jerk about it (making it hard to be present / gentle etc), download " Songify " and state the mental objection into the phone (e.g., " I never get it right " or " this is going to make me worse " etc etc). Listen for a bit and then go back to your practice of gentle,mindfulness, baby steps while curious about the thoughts and feelingsthat come up. Keep faith this yourself. You are not an alien being. You belong here.Just try itPeace, love, and life in this new year- S C. Foundation Professor Department of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join  Hi Jeff, Only just joined this group, and just started working through the ACT books. Definitely finding it helpful, but you did ask the question that I have been wondering about a lot. There definitely have been times where the demons have felt like they had claws they can use to injure, and have at times had experiences broadly similar to the ones you talk about - physical reactions to thoughts and situations that have made it pretty difficult to do certain things - even with the best will in the world. Also with things like high blood pressure caused by chronic stress, or even stress/anxiety raising levels of cortisol in your body (which some people think make be pretty bad for you if experienced chronically). I also am wondering what the take on this would be? From what I know of ACT so far I am thinking that the reasoning might be something like - it's not the demons that are doing this directly, but our reactions to what the demons are saying that cause these problems. Maybe adding it into the bus metaphor might be: the demons on the bus aren't actually hurting you, but they are guiding us to drive into some quite perilous places, where we could get hurt. (or is this stretching things too far?) I guess where this falls down though, as you mention is the fact this happens when you (as has also happend to me) are trying to move in a valued direction. Saying all that it sounds like working on novels is a much better option... I've been involved with some film work and I definitely didn't find it to be the most relaxing industry! Is there anyone out there with more experience of ACT that has any insights into this? > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 Songify. Great idea! Easy to use.Sent from my iPhone The mind says that the claws demand struggle.Unfortunately, struggle is what gives them claws.It is true that by backing away things calm downover the short run ... but life also narrows down. And as life gets smaller it gets harder toback away. The cost is too high.And it is true that valued activity gets the demons going again.We hurt where we care and stepping into new territory evokes fear. Duh.The solution is to practice, to be gentle with yourself, and take baby stepswhile being open and curious about your own processes.Leaps are possible but if they are forced in a judgmental, mindy way they tend not to work anyway. The only kind of leaps that are safe are leaps of abandonment / faith / true giving up / or vitality. But you can't mentally demand such things because you only find the courage to take such leaps from places the logical mind does not understand -- places like the wholeness of self, spirituality (not necessarily in any religious sense,tho that too), creative hopelessness, pain, exhaustion, boredom ... and yeah,values. But not the kind of values that are linked to e-value-ation. The kind that are liked to leaps of love and caring and being true to yourself.On the other side of growth you realize your could have leaped.The mind will chatter on about that of course ("time wasted" etc). [make raspberry sounds here]. Sue me for living.Meanwhile, unless you are moved to leap (no need to say that really, since the kind of leaps I'm talking about above I could not stop with a pathetic little email anyway), themore usual course ahead is practice and baby steps.The key is to practice the right thing. Gentle. Open. Mindfulness. Curious. My goofy advice for the day if you own and iPhone(I think it is also on Android):If you are thinking of taking a small step, and your mindis being a bossy, critical jerk about it (making it hard to be present / gentle etc), download "Songify" and state the mental objection into the phone (e.g., "I never get it right" or "this is going to make me worse" etc etc). Listen for a bit and then go back to your practice of gentle,mindfulness, baby steps while curious about the thoughts and feelingsthat come up. Keep faith this yourself. You are not an alien being. You belong here.Just try itPeace, love, and life in this new year- S C. Foundation Professor Department of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join Hi Jeff, Only just joined this group, and just started working through the ACT books. Definitely finding it helpful, but you did ask the question that I have been wondering about a lot. There definitely have been times where the demons have felt like they had claws they can use to injure, and have at times had experiences broadly similar to the ones you talk about - physical reactions to thoughts and situations that have made it pretty difficult to do certain things - even with the best will in the world. Also with things like high blood pressure caused by chronic stress, or even stress/anxiety raising levels of cortisol in your body (which some people think make be pretty bad for you if experienced chronically). I also am wondering what the take on this would be? From what I know of ACT so far I am thinking that the reasoning might be something like - it's not the demons that are doing this directly, but our reactions to what the demons are saying that cause these problems. Maybe adding it into the bus metaphor might be: the demons on the bus aren't actually hurting you, but they are guiding us to drive into some quite perilous places, where we could get hurt. (or is this stretching things too far?) I guess where this falls down though, as you mention is the fact this happens when you (as has also happend to me) are trying to move in a valued direction. Saying all that it sounds like working on novels is a much better option... I've been involved with some film work and I definitely didn't find it to be the most relaxing industry! Is there anyone out there with more experience of ACT that has any insights into this? > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post | Start a New Topic Messages in this topic (9) MARKETPLACE Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 I had to stop looking " out there " for agreement to be gentle with my Self. ACT made this possible. The more I looked for agreement from you and you and you that it would be okay to honor my process, the more I got slapped around, mostly by my own mind, but also by other minds in fear. I still hear and see a lot of slapping around and it can be a bit much at times, but I return to my breath now. And as I return to my breath, I hear music from the likes of you and you and you. > > > > > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > > > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > > > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > > > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > > > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > > > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > > > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > > > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > > > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > > > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > > > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to " sit with " > > > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > > > intestines, actually doing damage. > > > > > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > > > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > > > How can you tell the difference? > > > > > > > > > Jeff Beres > > > ----------------- > > > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > > > ~jberes5/horror.htm > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 Well said Terry. I like itSent from my iPhone I had to stop looking "out there" for agreement to be gentle with my Self. ACT made this possible. The more I looked for agreement from you and you and you that it would be okay to honor my process, the more I got slapped around, mostly by my own mind, but also by other minds in fear. I still hear and see a lot of slapping around and it can be a bit much at times, but I return to my breath now. And as I return to my breath, I hear music from the likes of you and you and you. > > > > > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > > > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > > > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > > > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > > > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > > > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > > > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > > > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > > > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > > > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > > > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" > > > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > > > intestines, actually doing damage. > > > > > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > > > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > > > How can you tell the difference? > > > > > > > > > Jeff Beres > > > ----------------- > > > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > > > ~jberes5/horror.htm > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hi, . Since I started this thread, I've done a little experimenting. I realized screenwriting isnt the value; it's a goal of a larger value, that of being creative. Like they say, many roads lead to Rome. I've been able to scratch the creative itch with other activities; working on that novel, writing short stories, working on an animated film and some other stuff. Also, I loved horror movies as a kid so I've written mostly horror scripts. These days horror films have taken a nasty turn that I'm not really thrilled with. I seem to be able to work on non-horror scripts with no problem. I think I'm just getting too old for the blood and guts of the new generation of horror films. Jeff Hi Jeff, Only just joined this group, and just started working through the ACT books. Definitely finding it helpful, but you did ask the question that I have been wondering about a lot. There definitely have been times where the demons have felt like they had claws they can use to injure, and have at times had experiences broadly similar to the ones you talk about - physical reactions to thoughts and situations that have made it pretty difficult to do certain things - even with the best will in the world. Also with things like high blood pressure caused by chronic stress, or even stress/anxiety raising levels of cortisol in your body (which some people think make be pretty bad for you if experienced chronically). I also am wondering what the take on this would be? From what I know of ACT so far I am thinking that the reasoning might be something like - it's not the demons that are doing this directly, but our reactions to what the demons are saying that cause these problems. Maybe adding it into the bus metaphor might be: the demons on the bus aren't actually hurting you, but they are guiding us to drive into some quite perilous places, where we could get hurt. (or is this stretching things too far?) I guess where this falls down though, as you mention is the fact this happens when you (as has also happend to me) are trying to move in a valued direction. Saying all that it sounds like working on novels is a much better option... I've been involved with some film work and I definitely didn't find it to be the most relaxing industry! Is there anyone out there with more experience of ACT that has any insights into this? > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Jeff Beres-----------------Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/~jberes5/horror.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Sometimes I think screenwriting is the elephant in the room with me. I do seem to try to work around it to avoid the stomach pains. I have a half finished horror/comedy that I think I'll try to finish using the baby steps and see what happens.Thanks, .Jeff The mind says that the claws demand struggle.Unfortunately, struggle is what gives them claws.It is true that by backing away things calm downover the short run ... but life also narrows down. And as life gets smaller it gets harder toback away. The cost is too high.And it is true that valued activity gets the demons going again.We hurt where we care and stepping into new territory evokes fear. Duh.The solution is to practice, to be gentle with yourself, and take baby stepswhile being open and curious about your own processes.Leaps are possible but if they are forced in a judgmental, mindy way they tend not to work anyway. The only kind of leaps that are safe are leaps of abandonment / faith / true giving up / or vitality. But you can't mentally demand such things because you only find the courage to take such leaps from places the logical mind does not understand -- places like the wholeness of self, spirituality (not necessarily in any religious sense,tho that too), creative hopelessness, pain, exhaustion, boredom ... and yeah,values. But not the kind of values that are linked to e-value-ation. The kind that are liked to leaps of love and caring and being true to yourself.On the other side of growth you realize your could have leaped.The mind will chatter on about that of course ("time wasted" etc). [make raspberry sounds here]. Sue me for living.Meanwhile, unless you are moved to leap (no need to say that really, since the kind of leaps I'm talking about above I could not stop with a pathetic little email anyway), themore usual course ahead is practice and baby steps.The key is to practice the right thing. Gentle. Open. Mindfulness. Curious. My goofy advice for the day if you own and iPhone(I think it is also on Android):If you are thinking of taking a small step, and your mindis being a bossy, critical jerk about it (making it hard to be present / gentle etc), download "Songify" and state the mental objection into the phone (e.g., "I never get it right" or "this is going to make me worse" etc etc). Listen for a bit and then go back to your practice of gentle,mindfulness, baby steps while curious about the thoughts and feelingsthat come up. Keep faith this yourself. You are not an alien being. You belong here.Just try itPeace, love, and life in this new year- S C. Foundation Professor Department of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join Hi Jeff, Only just joined this group, and just started working through the ACT books. Definitely finding it helpful, but you did ask the question that I have been wondering about a lot. There definitely have been times where the demons have felt like they had claws they can use to injure, and have at times had experiences broadly similar to the ones you talk about - physical reactions to thoughts and situations that have made it pretty difficult to do certain things - even with the best will in the world. Also with things like high blood pressure caused by chronic stress, or even stress/anxiety raising levels of cortisol in your body (which some people think make be pretty bad for you if experienced chronically). I also am wondering what the take on this would be? From what I know of ACT so far I am thinking that the reasoning might be something like - it's not the demons that are doing this directly, but our reactions to what the demons are saying that cause these problems. Maybe adding it into the bus metaphor might be: the demons on the bus aren't actually hurting you, but they are guiding us to drive into some quite perilous places, where we could get hurt. (or is this stretching things too far?) I guess where this falls down though, as you mention is the fact this happens when you (as has also happend to me) are trying to move in a valued direction. Saying all that it sounds like working on novels is a much better option... I've been involved with some film work and I definitely didn't find it to be the most relaxing industry! Is there anyone out there with more experience of ACT that has any insights into this? > > Here's a question I struggle with a lot. What if your demons have > claws that can hurt you? I developed ulcerative colitis about 7 years > ago. It's added a new dimension to my anxieties. It's sort of a turbo- > anxiety that creates stomach virus symptoms that pretty much sideline > me for hours or days. And it damages the lining of the intestines. it > doesn't pop up all the time, just when I'm contemplating certain > activities like travelling and screenwriting. I can do without the > travelling but I've been working on screenplays for about 17 years > now. But when I get close to a possible sale, the uber-anxiety kicks > in and I get a colitis attack with all the inconveniences. I > basically can't leave the house. It's a little hard to "sit with" > colitis symptoms, especially knowing that this demon is shredding my > intestines, actually doing damage. > > I've recently come to the conclusion that this may not be a valued > activity at all. Maybe that's what the intense anxiety is telling me. > How can you tell the difference? > > > Jeff Beres > ----------------- > Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/ > ~jberes5/horror.htm > Jeff Beres-----------------Check out the Horror Screenwriter's Page at: http://home.comcast.net/~jberes5/horror.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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