Re: Emotional Fluctuations/ Questions to consider

December 11, 2011

Yes, finally getting it's a given to have these fluctuations to some degree, and

the question is more about how will I relate to them in a more compassionate,

flexible way?

Recently came upon a talk that resonated with this-- clinician Koerner

talks about skills for emotions when feeling threatened (and the perceived

threat can be very minor to major) and even though it was a talk for therapists

to use with clients, she knows and speaks from that refreshing: " We're in the

same boat " place, with guided exercise for all listening to practice. It's

really a talk about acceptance, and I found it profoundly useful in it's

simplicity. I can't find the link now..it was on a DBT site of video talks

available for the public, but this one overlaps very nicely with ACT acceptance.

Here's a rough version of the gist of it, from my notes:

After some breathing and getting centered:

In this moment,

What is hard right now? (name it, acknowledge it)

What is happening? (inside, outside..what thoughts, sensations, memories, etc.)

Can I be with this?

Can I be with this hard place and bring kindness, a sense of compassion,

openness to this?

and

Can I now be with this in a different way, without doing the habitual way I do

this?

So in other words:

What is the cue and what happens inside and outside of me and what do I know

about my habits that maybe have unintended consequences that cause me suffering?

Am I willing to have it with kindness and what might I do differently than my

habitual way?

I adjust the cue part..for me it can be almost anything that grabs at me, so

even though it's useful to identify some big cues, it's not essential..much more

important to just notice I'm feeling that funk, that grab, something is off than

to figure out precisely what triggered it (sometimes I have no clue).

>

> Over the last few months I've been improving in my practice of all the skills.

I have been highly motivated to take on new and existing challenges, as well as

being able to notice more of what is going on both internal and external. When I

crash though, I fall hard. The story goes....

>

> Wednesday my patience was thin and I abused all the slow drivers on my way to

work. I maintained patience with the people I work with but noticed myself

withdrawing. By Thursday afternoon I was ready to burst into tears. It seemed

like nothing was really possible at all and I'm stuck in fanciful thinking to

believe that I might make a difference. My mind was in a loop of, " It's all

gonna come crashing on down. You're just gonna mess it all up again and they'll

ditch you! " Over and over in a variety of forms. I lost it and fear dominated my

thinking. The bawling began. I had a shower, ate some food, watched some TV, put

on my music but couldn't seem to shake it. I didn't sleep well and woke at

5:30am so by Friday morning I was chomping at the bit. The emotions were

intense.

>

> Then I made a big mistake and bought some alcohol. I don't entirely remember

all the events, I have some blank spots. I slept again, (well this time), and

started fresh on Saturday. I had arrangements with my daughter. *sigh*. It is

all about that meaning right there. I breathed, noticing the knot in my throat

and engaged with her. By the time I dropped her home, my whole world had

changed. My focus returned, maybe I returned to being focused :-)

>

> Some days I could take on Mt. Everest (so to speak), my energy is boundless

and others, well the story tells all.

>

> Are there others on this list who experience these fluctuations? What do you

do that helps?

>

> Lou

>

December 11, 2011

found link..that was an audio presentation:

" Being Mindful of Emotions to Validate Self and Others "

http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/resources-news/media-library/audio-\

presentations

This talk applies to anyone as Koerner demonstrates and generously shares

her own experience..so don't worry if your symptoms don't fit the label they

call BPD or if you're not a huge fan of DBT.

> >

> > Over the last few months I've been improving in my practice of all the

skills. I have been highly motivated to take on new and existing challenges, as

well as being able to notice more of what is going on both internal and

external. When I crash though, I fall hard. The story goes....

> >

> > Wednesday my patience was thin and I abused all the slow drivers on my way

to work. I maintained patience with the people I work with but noticed myself