Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

[Guest guest]

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Helena. My mind focuses on one or two things at a time, worries about them frenetically, but loses all interest in everything else. At the moment, I am worried about my job. Oddly I've barely given any thoughts about my son's learning problems and how it affects his schooling, for example, since my mind is focused on my job prospects. "Normally", my son is 100% of my worry.Consequently, my weight has dipped from 5th or 6th on my priority list, to somewhere south of the choice of whether I will wear pants or boxer shorts in the morning. I find I really struggle to work on the values that are important, as well as the

values that are urgent, if you appreciate the distinction.Best wishes x To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 11:45 Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

I do understand the distinction, ! I once heard a top-level executive give this advice: While taking care of the "urgent" things in life, make sure you do not neglect the "important" things. His point was that what may seem urgent should, at times, take a back seat to what is important. He said it in the context of "family is more important than an urgent work assignment." So ... should I stay late to finish that project ... or be at my son's birthday party? At the same time, I knew that if a project didn't meet the deadline, my butt could be fired (which he didn't say)! Compromise and discretion is always required in making "urgent" vs. "important" decisions - and each individual must balance that for him/herself.

Since "living healthy" is one of my primary values, it permeates all of my life and informs all of my choices, so I don't even give it lip service or conscious thought as I go about my day-to-day activities and deal with other priorities or crises that pop up. It's a good place to be; it took making healthy choices a permanent part of my lifestyle, which occurred over a couple of years. Of course, if you're up to your ass in alligators, you are not going to focus on giving up smoking or losing weight at that moment! It sounds like this job situation of yours may be equivalent to being up to your ass in alligators right now. I get that!

I wish you the best with your current job situation; may it turn out well and as you desire. Now, I must decide if I will wear pants or boxer shorts this morning : )

Helena

Robson" To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 7:14:32 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Thank you, Helena.

My mind focuses on one or two things at a time, worries about them frenetically, but loses all interest in everything else. At the moment, I am worried about my job. Oddly I've barely given any thoughts about my son's learning problems and how it affects his schooling, for example, since my mind is focused on my job prospects. "Normally", my son is 100% of my worry.

Consequently, my weight has dipped from 5th or 6th on my priority list, to somewhere south of the choice of whether I will wear pants or boxer shorts in the morning. I find I really struggle to work on the values that are important, as well as the values that are urgent, if you appreciate the distinction.

Best wishes

x

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 11:45Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

One tidbit of advice (unsolicited though it is, sorry!). If you do think about losing weight in the future, I found it helpful to keep my focus off the weight itself and more on making small, healthy choices on a daily basis, while letting the weight take care of itself - and it will. Order a salad instead of fries, takes the stairs instead of the elevator, don't bring those potato chips home from the grocery store, say no to that office donut and have a healthy snack instead, etc. Worked for me, over time, and became habitual, without putting undue presssure on myself as in "I must (or worse, SHOULD!) lose weight, damn it!"

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 7:14:32 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Thank you, Helena.

My mind focuses on one or two things at a time, worries about them frenetically, but loses all interest in everything else. At the moment, I am worried about my job. Oddly I've barely given any thoughts about my son's learning problems and how it affects his schooling, for example, since my mind is focused on my job prospects. "Normally", my son is 100% of my worry.

Consequently, my weight has dipped from 5th or 6th on my priority list, to somewhere south of the choice of whether I will wear pants or boxer shorts in the morning. I find I really struggle to work on the values that are important, as well as the values that are urgent, if you appreciate the distinction.

Best wishes

x

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 11:45Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

Your advice is very kind and helpful, and much appreciated. I reward myself too much with unhealthy things, which I need to stop. I've mentally promised myself a few pints tonight as a reward for the week's work on my job application. Maybe aI should treat myself with a trip to the cinema (although I know I won't!)Take care, . To: ACT for the Public

<ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 13:00 Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

One tidbit of advice (unsolicited though it is, sorry!). If you do think about losing weight in the future, I found it helpful to keep my focus off the weight itself and more on making small, healthy choices on a daily basis, while letting the weight take care of itself - and it will. Order a salad instead of fries, takes the stairs instead of the elevator, don't bring those potato chips home from the grocery store, say no to that office donut and have a healthy snack instead, etc. Worked for me, over time, and became habitual, without putting undue presssure on myself as in "I must (or worse, SHOULD!) lose weight, damn it!"

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 7:14:32 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Thank you, Helena.

My mind focuses on one or two things at a time, worries about them frenetically, but loses all interest in everything else. At the moment, I am worried about my job. Oddly I've barely given any thoughts about my son's learning problems and how it affects his schooling, for example, since my mind is focused on my job prospects. "Normally", my son is 100% of my worry.

Consequently, my weight has dipped from 5th or 6th on my priority list, to somewhere south of the choice of whether I will wear pants or boxer shorts in the morning. I find I really struggle to work on the values that are important, as well as the values that are urgent, if you appreciate the distinction.

Best wishes

x

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 11:45Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv

[Guest guest]

Enjoy those pints - much deserved reward!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:05:35 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Your advice is very kind and helpful, and much appreciated. I reward myself too much with unhealthy things, which I need to stop. I've mentally promised myself a few pints tonight as a reward for the week's work on my job application. Maybe aI should treat myself with a trip to the cinema (although I know I won't!)

Take care, .

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 13:00Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

One tidbit of advice (unsolicited though it is, sorry!). If you do think about losing weight in the future, I found it helpful to keep my focus off the weight itself and more on making small, healthy choices on a daily basis, while letting the weight take care of itself - and it will. Order a salad instead of fries, takes the stairs instead of the elevator, don't bring those potato chips home from the grocery store, say no to that office donut and have a healthy snack instead, etc. Worked for me, over time, and became habitual, without putting undue presssure on myself as in "I must (or worse, SHOULD!) lose weight, damn it!"

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 7:14:32 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Thank you, Helena.

My mind focuses on one or two things at a time, worries about them frenetically, but loses all interest in everything else. At the moment, I am worried about my job. Oddly I've barely given any thoughts about my son's learning problems and how it affects his schooling, for example, since my mind is focused on my job prospects. "Normally", my son is 100% of my worry.

Consequently, my weight has dipped from 5th or 6th on my priority list, to somewhere south of the choice of whether I will wear pants or boxer shorts in the morning. I find I really struggle to work on the values that are important, as well as the values that are urgent, if you appreciate the distinction.

Best wishes

x

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 11:45Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Love your sense of humor, ! I know one of your top values is being a good dad for your son, which includes actually being there. I encourage you to not put "living healthy" on the back burner but to make baby steps toward that right now, as part of your larger value. Hope that makes sense, and that I'm coming across as caring rather than critical. I, too, need to lose a few!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 5:57:23 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Stones. The scales mark stones, with 16 dashes between stones representing each pound. I think modern electric ones let you choose how you want to be weighed - but none of them look good!!!

According to the BMI chart, 19 stones means that I am seriously obese. Or, I am a perfect weight, and just very, very, very tall. I'm not sure I need the tape measure to work that out.

(Humour is presumably my way of handling a potentially serious medical issue, which you may have guessed! One day I will act on it, but I don't want to give myself a hard time on it whilst I am having so many job worries.)

To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 9:54Subject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Hmmm ... 19 stone? How many pounds does each stone weigh? Never mind - I just googled it. Do your scales measure in stone or pounds, or both?

Helena (curious)

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 4:44:53 AMSubject: Re: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

Interesting.

I've never appreciated self-image problems, really. My critical mind often thinks "oh, to have to so few worries in the world that I have time to worry about how I look". I understand that's very unfair (but this forum understands that I can't control my mind).

Fortunately, I have the figure of an Adonis, so I don't have to worry about these sorts of things. :0)

- tipping 19 stone - Robson

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012, 8:44Subject: Many Men have Body Image Concerns Too

It's all fallinig into place now. For years I thought that was I far worst than other people with my sort of problems which lowered my self esteem even further. Then CBT showed me that there was nothing physically wrong with me at all, I just suffered from twisted thinking - there was no faulty genes or wonkey biology. Phew!

Then I discovered ACT and found out that although everyone else looks so happy most the time this might not always be the case. We all suffer, and often profoundly.

Recently I found this newspaper article which I found very interesting.

Extract:

Body image concerns more men than women, research finds

Anxiety about body image has led to some men conceding they would exchange a year of their life for the perfect physique

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.

More than four in five men (80.7%) talk in ways that promote anxiety about their body image by referring to perceived flaws and imperfections, compared with 75% of women. Similarly, 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body – again, a higher proportion than women.

The survey revealed that men have high levels of anxiety about their bodies and that some resort to compulsive exercise, strict diets, laxatives or making themselves sick in an attempt to lose weight or achieve a more toned physique.

• 80.7% talked about their own or others' appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame.

• 30% have heard someone refer to their "beer belly", 19% have been described as "chubby" and 19% have overheard talk about their "man boobs (moobs)".

• 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

• 63% thought their arms or chests were not muscular enough.

• 29% thought about their appearance at least five times a day.

• 18% were on a high-protein diet to increase muscle mass, and 16% on a calorie-controlled diet to slim down.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

Kv