Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

August 30, 2011

Hi Philip,

I'm going to be straightforward, which is the only way I know how to be. That said, I truly want to reach out to you in kindness and hope you can receive it as such.

First of all, I want to mention that "Tread gently" is the term that Em uses to sign off on nearly all, if not all, her emails. Perhaps you haven't been here long enough to see that, so you thought it was something directed specifically to you in terms of advice or "do this". To me, the term is simply a kind reminder to be gentle with yourself and with others.

I'm sorry you had a rough day. Having some knowledge of ACT (not sure how far you are), you probably know that what you considered nitpicking or arguing was not necessarily perceived in that way by the other discussion participants (but it might have been). That is simply the story that was playing in your head. Not to say your experience of reactive anxiety was not real, but I'm just encouraging you to take a look at what really caused it. Was it the content of the email that caused your distress and your anxiety attack? Or was it the story in your head - the story that told you others did not understand you, were argumentative and nit-picky, were bringing you down, didn't get what you were asking or saying, made you feel "less than"?

To have a discussion of what is helpful to each of us, and to share what works and doesn't work for us, is the underlying purpose of this list. In the end, you decide what helps you and what doesn't. And if the discussion doesn't "feel right" to you or makes you anxious, you can accept that anxiety without buying into the negative stories it brings up for you. If you were unable to do that yesterday, that's quite OK. Today is a new day and you can take it from here, from this moment.

I hear and sympathize with the fact that you had an awful day, that you tried to help someone who didn't appreciate it, that you participated in a discussion in which you felt unheard and misunderstood. That stuff does NOT make you a failure as a human being. That's just another story that you are telling yourself that isn't true - and I bet you know that on some level.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 11:48:52 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in

particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700To: <ACT_for_the_Public >ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the

context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson

Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

Please, Em, please reconsider your decision to not participate here. To allow someone else's reaction to run you off is not being in control of your own life, is it? So what if not everyone accepts and understands your words? So it hurts - since when has life been fair? Lick your wounds and get up and keep going, as you have over and over in your journey. I know this feels personal, like a personal attack, but it's really not about you; it's about someone else who is hurting. You are valuable and your contributions here are valuable. Please keep writing here - I would miss you terribly.

Then again, I am not in your shoes or in your head. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.

Tread gently. If you're not going to say it, I will...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 6:17:21 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

RE: " I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. " HmmmIsn't this another round of " Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. " ?I get the hurt and yet it's worth noticing how this works

We want to be with others and be important and helpful to othersWe are afraid of being hurtWe are afraid of hurtingWe reach out We get hurtWe fear we've hurt othersWe withdraw or attack or attack ourselves or buy into our inadequacies or all of the above

It is worth sloooowwwwing this thing down and just noticing thebeginning; the foundationWe want to be with others and be important and helpful to othersThat is worth attention. It is worth care. Because when we

withdraw or attack or attack ourselves or buy into our inadequacies or all of the abovewhat we are doing is making sure what we want to have happen likely will not.Better to stand with ourselves on that foundation and look

So how can I be with others?How can I be with myself?How can I grow and evolve?All of these ACT methods are about that- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298

University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site:

http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes

or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

orhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the " tread gently " its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in

particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribió:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.To quote The Happiness Trap:

" You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.' " In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the

context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribió:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a " mark " . I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize " 1 to 10 marking " I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribió:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

CC: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribió:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribió:

De: Philip Dawson

Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

I had similar thoughts . Everything is workable, everything and everyone is an opportunity to grow. ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11,

escribiÃ³:De: Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 10:48

RE: "I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually."HmmmIsn't this another round of "Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."?I get the hurt and yet it's worth noticing how this works

We want to be with others and be important and helpful to othersWe are afraid of being hurtWe are afraid of hurtingWe reach out We get hurtWe fear we've hurt othersWe withdraw or attack or attack ourselves or buy into our inadequacies or all of the above

It is worth sloooowwwwing this thing down and just noticing thebeginning; the foundationWe want to be with others and be important and helpful to othersThat is worth attention. It is worth care. Because when we

withdraw or attack or attack ourselves or buy into our inadequacies or all of the abovewhat we are doing is making sure what we want to have happen likely will not.Better to stand with ourselves on that foundation and look

So how can I be with others?How can I be with myself?How can I grow and evolve?All of these ACT methods are about that- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298

University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page or my blog at the ACBS site:

http://www.contextualpsychology.org/steven_hayes http://www.contextualpsychology.org/blog/steven_hayes

or you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost if up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions go to http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

orhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of the conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in

particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the

context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

Para: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson

Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public

Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.

http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

I wasn't thinking of not participating, maybe just keeping my head down for a while. I have done this in the past with regards the list, I think its an accumulation of things that makes me feel its maybe not positive for me or those who interact with me. But no big deal. There are always ways and lessons. Just got to keep getting up, brushing myself down and going forward. XXXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to

browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 10:47

Please, Em, please reconsider your decision to not participate here. To allow someone else's reaction to run you off is not being in control of your own life, is it? So what if not everyone accepts and understands your words? So it hurts - since when has life been fair? Lick your wounds and get up and keep going, as you have over and over in your journey. I know this feels personal, like a personal attack, but it's really not about you; it's about someone else who is hurting. You are valuable and your contributions here are valuable. Please keep writing here - I would miss you terribly.

Then again, I am not in your shoes or in your head. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.

Tread gently. If you're not going to say it, I will...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 6:17:21 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

I understand, Em. Thanks! We do have to pace ourselves according to our needs, and sometimes that means stepping back for awhile.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 7:00:05 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

I wasn't thinking of not participating, maybe just keeping my head down for a while. I have done this in the past with regards the list, I think its an accumulation of things that makes me feel its maybe not positive for me or those who interact with me. But no big deal. There are always ways and lessons. Just got to keep getting up, brushing myself down and going forward. XXXX

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 10:47

Please, Em, please reconsider your decision to not participate here. To allow someone else's reaction to run you off is not being in control of your own life, is it? So what if not everyone accepts and understands your words? So it hurts - since when has life been fair? Lick your wounds and get up and keep going, as you have over and over in your journey. I know this feels personal, like a personal attack, but it's really not about you; it's about someone else who is hurting. You are valuable and your contributions here are valuable. Please keep writing here - I would miss you terribly.

Then again, I am not in your shoes or in your head. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.

Tread gently. If you're not going to say it, I will...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 6:17:21 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

Thanks Helena. I am actually quite fragile at the moment. In the last 2 months I have done so much, and thats so positive, but I think both body and mind are a bit wacked by such an effort after years of avoidance. So all these list problems touch other issues, and I am addressing so many other issues I don't feel I can stretch anymore at the moment I even considered today making my blog private, but I don't think I will be doing that as I wanted it to reach as many people as possible who could have my problem, might see if there is another way around that so considering it all. I really think I just have to hit that unsubscribe button and take some time out needed, maybe to return in the future, and just go along with my therapy as usual, I have obtained so much, don't want to lose that. I think I need a long rest and plenty of mindful meditation and being

with myself. Really wishing all you lovely people well, I would hate to think any word of mine could hurt anyone, its seems the moment I don't pay so much attention to every word I write I am hurting someone, maybe paranoia has its place haha. It will be okay, big hugs to everyone and take good care. Tread gently XXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 12:00

I understand, Em. Thanks! We do have to pace ourselves according to our needs, and sometimes that means stepping back for awhile.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 7:00:05 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

I wasn't thinking of not participating, maybe just keeping my head down for a while. I have done this in the past with regards the list, I think its an accumulation of things that makes me feel its maybe not positive for me or those who interact with me. But no big deal. There are always ways and lessons. Just got to keep getting up, brushing myself down and going forward. XXXX

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 10:47

Please, Em, please reconsider your decision to not participate here. To allow someone else's reaction to run you off is not being in control of your own life, is it? So what if not everyone accepts and understands your words? So it hurts - since when has life been fair? Lick your wounds and get up and keep going, as you have over and over in your journey. I know this feels personal, like a personal attack, but it's really not about you; it's about someone else who is hurting. You are valuable and your contributions here are valuable. Please keep writing here - I would miss you terribly.

Then again, I am not in your shoes or in your head. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.

Tread gently. If you're not going to say it, I will...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 6:17:21 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

Instead of unsubscribing, why don't you change your options at the Yahoo site to opt out of getting the posts delivered to your inbox? That way, the posts are not in your face every day, but you can go to the online Yahoo site any time you feel like reading the messages or rejoining the discussion, without having to resubscribe. Seems a bit less final and should give you the space you need at the same time.

I wish you well. You have done so much to inspire me.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 8:34:32 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

Thanks Helena. I am actually quite fragile at the moment. In the last 2 months I have done so much, and thats so positive, but I think both body and mind are a bit wacked by such an effort after years of avoidance. So all these list problems touch other issues, and I am addressing so many other issues I don't feel I can stretch anymore at the moment I even considered today making my blog private, but I don't think I will be doing that as I wanted it to reach as many people as possible who could have my problem, might see if there is another way around that so considering it all. I really think I just have to hit that unsubscribe button and take some time out needed, maybe to return in the future, and just go along with my therapy as usual, I have obtained so much, don't want to lose that. I think I need a long rest and plenty of mindful meditation and being with myself. Really wishing all you lovely people well, I would hate to think any word of mine could hurt anyone, its seems the moment I don't pay so much attention to every word I write I am hurting someone, maybe paranoia has its place haha. It will be okay, big hugs to everyone and take good care. Tread gently XXX

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 12:00

I understand, Em. Thanks! We do have to pace ourselves according to our needs, and sometimes that means stepping back for awhile.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 7:00:05 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

I wasn't thinking of not participating, maybe just keeping my head down for a while. I have done this in the past with regards the list, I think its an accumulation of things that makes me feel its maybe not positive for me or those who interact with me. But no big deal. There are always ways and lessons. Just got to keep getting up, brushing myself down and going forward. XXXX

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 10:47

Please, Em, please reconsider your decision to not participate here. To allow someone else's reaction to run you off is not being in control of your own life, is it? So what if not everyone accepts and understands your words? So it hurts - since when has life been fair? Lick your wounds and get up and keep going, as you have over and over in your journey. I know this feels personal, like a personal attack, but it's really not about you; it's about someone else who is hurting. You are valuable and your contributions here are valuable. Please keep writing here - I would miss you terribly.

Then again, I am not in your shoes or in your head. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.

Tread gently. If you're not going to say it, I will...

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 6:17:21 AMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxiety

This left me really surprised and very hurt too. I had absolutely no idea that this was just not an ordinary exchange of ideas like any other on the list, I had no idea that it was something personal to you, or anything that gave you anxiety. As for the "tread gently" its something I say always, but in your honor I will be keeping it to my blog. I think I will be just keeping myself to the blog actually. Hoping you are better.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El mar, 30/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in thecontext of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: martes, 30 de agosto, 2011 03:48

I stated I did not want to argue but I was so turned off by the nitpicking that I had a fairly strong anxiety attack.

To quote The Happiness Trap:

"You may find it helpful to score the urge on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, 'I'm having the urge to smoke and it's a 7.'"

In drug addiction they say that you get the urge, it rises in scale and then it drops off. I went through it when I quit smoking. On the TV shows I mentioned they do the same thing, the patient has his anxiety raise (hopefully to 10) and they realize that nothing bad happens and their anxiety goes down.

I am really struggling with self esteem, depression and severe anxiety. I had an awful day where I wanted to help another Veteran but he was a dick to me. In this thread I just wanted to participate and add to the conversation.

It seems that everything I try to participate in fails for me and I am failing as an adult.

I am sorry now that I didn't respond - I also get confused by emails a lot so thought twice and didn't send it. I also have been practicing urge surfing using the Happiness Trap method - which says to assess anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. So it seems legit.

Sender: ACT_for_the_Public

Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:51:48 -0700

To: <ACT_for_the_Public >

ReplyTo: ACT_for_the_Public

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

This thread has made me very anxious and depressed. It feels like I am playing some sort of language game when all I wanted to do was share some things I thought were similar based on what I have seen and experienced.

Then I am told to tread lightly, I have no idea what that means but it doesn't feel good. I am a grown man and I don't want to be told how to tread.

It is like a war of who can out ACT who and I don't want to play. I regret ever responding to the OP (I was the only one who did and honestly, I felt bad that nobody had responded). It really makes me wonder if I am capable of participating without having problems.

I do admit I have had an awful day and now I feel dumb even thinking about this.

Sometimes I have to count very, very slowly ... and keep going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 7:38:11 PM

Subject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I am not sure if 10 seconds would be enough for me

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, hbbr escribiÃ³:

De: hbbr Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 23:15

Em, you make a very good point, I think. In ACT, we try to stay away from judging and evaluating the content of our thoughts. Counting from 1 to 10 would be much the same as wave surfing but rating from 1 to 10 would not be. I think it's important to make this distinction and thanks for bringing it up.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 6:57:59 PMSubject: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxiety

I don't want to argue about it.

So what you mean is that evaluating your anxiety or panic from 1 to 10 is the same as wave surfing? I don't know about that... wave surfing is based on mindfulness, and mindfulness doesn't have a judgmental evaluative nature. Also the mind really has to get involved because its comparing to other episodes in order to give a "mark". I personally can imagine wave surfing as sitting on a beach calmly watching the storm in the water come and go, and when I visualize "1 to 10 marking" I can see a stressed person with measuring machines and notebooks getting all tangled up and stressed... I think the point in common would be the fact that in both cases you accept and stay with the experience.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, P Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: P Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >CC: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 19:15

Thanks for the correction. I wrote that wrong. Sent from my iPhone

One thing is to count from 1 to 10, another is to be asked to evaluate your anxiety from 1 to 10.

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El lun, 29/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: lunes, 29 de agosto, 2011 14:43

I am finding out that many of the techniques are the same things just called something differently.

Unwanted Thoughts Super Ego Subconscious

Ride the wave and counting 1 to 10 are mostly the same thing. The big difference I see is what you do with the thoughts or feelings.

I think the 1 to 10 business might be CBT? I say this because I had a CBT manual and it also asked this. I think that is quite stressful myself!

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El dom, 28/8/11, Philip Dawson escribiÃ³:

De: Philip Dawson Asunto: Re: Video that mentions wave surfing in the context of bulimia and anxietyPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: domingo, 28 de agosto, 2011 23:38

This is similar to what you see on the OCD shows and the Hoarder shows. The therapist wants the patient to feel the anxiety and notice it rise, peak and then fall. On the shows I have seen the therapist is constantly asking the patient to rate their anxiety on a scale of one through ten.

I was just watching this show, and I found it quite interesting that the dietitian mentions using wave surfing when it comes to not giving in to the urge and anxious feeling that makes bulimic sufferers wanting to throw up. I don't have a problem like this myself, but I do like in general wave surfing for my own anxiety. Go to minute 12 more or less

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMRzdzIUHWQ & feature=related

______________________

Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity

This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

August 30, 2011

Hi all -

Just a note from my perspective about subscribing/unsubscribing from

the list -

I have done both strategies mentioned so far: decreased my level of

participation at times, and also unsubscribed from the list

entirely. In the latter case, it is easy to re-subscribe.

For me, these strategies can be useful - not to avoid discomfort

with perceived interpersonal conflicts, but rather, as a way of

managing in my time so that I can put more focus on other pursuits.

As we all know the Internet can be addictive (I believe the

colloquial phrase is " giant time suck " ) and so I am all for whatever

helps reduce time spent on the Web or on email when that is desired.

Not a big deal either way, I don't think. There is always a lot of

coming and going on the list anyway.

- R.

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