Differances in how we label things

[Guest guest]

As a child , I lived in a foster home. I was made to stand in the corner

sometimes with hands up for hours. Often, I did not know what I did. As I

remember one of the incidents was because I snickered they said. I thought it

was a smile. It seemed that as soon as I relaxed, something else would happen.

The shame I previously spoke of was in part due to the visitors coming in seeing

me and them telling them how bad I was.

I used my time to do the multiplacation table and make words out of another word

in my head, In additon, I made promises to myself how it would be when I grew

up. One time, for the first time I was allowed a friend over the house, the

riducle and all the bad things about me were spoken about. The girl never came

back and our friendship stopped in school. Sometimes, I think I have PST just

like prisoners in war.

I am good at math and words.

I never shared this before. I stayed away from anyone who knew how I grew up.

When I finally left that place, if I saw those people I would be in fear. I wish

now I had stood up to them. I even called her Mom , hoping it would be easier on

me. It helped a little. Lin

[Guest guest]

, your story sounds very similar to some of my experiences in children's homes and foster homes when I was a child - truly horrible. I was often beaten for not getting the dishes done on time because my sister and I were having fun, fooling around, while doing them. We both did the best we could in those circumstances. Remember that and pat yourself on the back for surviving, and thriving today. I called my foster mother "Mom" too because she asked me to. It never felt right.

That you were not able to stand up to them is totally understandable. You were a helpless child! I left the foster home when I graduated from high school, but left my younger sister behind, which made me feel so guilty. The one time I was able to stand up to my foster father was the time he started to beat her in the week I was leaving; I had the courage because I knew I was soon outta there. I got in his face, grabbed the leather strap, and said in a firm voice "Don't you dare touch her!" I will never forget the look of shock on his face as he just walked away, shaking his head.

Those childhood memories will cease to be important in your mind as they are supplemented with newer memories and the sense of accomplishment that comes from living a value-driven life. Eventually, you will look back on them as just something you went through as a child; something that can no longer hurt you and something that helped mold you into the caring person you are today. We both know what it is like to endure hideous physical and emotional pain as children; so we are, perhaps, better equipped than most to understand it with compassion when we encounter it in others.

Prior to ACT, I was pretty much stuck in my memories and was depressed most of the time. I wish I had known ACT 40 years ago!

My best to you in your journey,

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 9:04:37 AMSubject: Differances in how we label things

As a child , I lived in a foster home. I was made to stand in the corner sometimes with hands up for hours. Often, I did not know what I did. As I remember one of the incidents was because I snickered they said. I thought it was a smile. It seemed that as soon as I relaxed, something else would happen. The shame I previously spoke of was in part due to the visitors coming in seeing me and them telling them how bad I was. I used my time to do the multiplacation table and make words out of another word in my head, In additon, I made promises to myself how it would be when I grew up. One time, for the first time I was allowed a friend over the house, the riducle and all the bad things about me were spoken about. The girl never came back and our friendship stopped in school. Sometimes, I think I have PST just like prisoners in war.I am good at math and words. :)I never shared this before. I stayed away from anyone who knew how I grew up. When I finally left that place, if I saw those people I would be in fear. I wish now I had stood up to them. I even called her Mom , hoping it would be easier on me. It helped a little. Lin

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing. I find it somewhat helpfull to know that I am not alone in what happened to me. I feel a bit guilty for that as I wouldnt wish my childhood on anyone. I have had a much better life as an adult. I think I appreciate things more then most people because of my childhood.

Lin

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: hbbr@...Date: Tue, 20 Sep 2011 14:21:05 +0000Subject: Re: Differances in how we label things

, your story sounds very similar to some of my experiences in children's homes and foster homes when I was a child - truly horrible. I was often beaten for not getting the dishes done on time because my sister and I were having fun, fooling around, while doing them. We both did the best we could in those circumstances. Remember that and pat yourself on the back for surviving, and thriving today. I called my foster mother "Mom" too because she asked me to. It never felt right.

That you were not able to stand up to them is totally understandable. You were a helpless child! I left the foster home when I graduated from high school, but left my younger sister behind, which made me feel so guilty. The one time I was able to stand up to my foster father was the time he started to beat her in the week I was leaving; I had the courage because I knew I was soon outta there. I got in his face, grabbed the leather strap, and said in a firm voice "Don't you dare touch her!" I will never forget the look of shock on his face as he just walked away, shaking his head.

Those childhood memories will cease to be important in your mind as they are supplemented with newer memories and the sense of accomplishment that comes from living a value-driven life. Eventually, you will look back on them as just something you went through as a child; something that can no longer hurt you and something that helped mold you into the caring person you are today. We both know what it is like to endure hideous physical and emotional pain as children; so we are, perhaps, better equipped than most to understand it with compassion when we encounter it in others.

Prior to ACT, I was pretty much stuck in my memories and was depressed most of the time. I wish I had known ACT 40 years ago!

My best to you in your journey,

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 9:04:37 AMSubject: Differances in how we label things

As a child , I lived in a foster home. I was made to stand in the corner sometimes with hands up for hours. Often, I did not know what I did. As I remember one of the incidents was because I snickered they said. I thought it was a smile. It seemed that as soon as I relaxed, something else would happen. The shame I previously spoke of was in part due to the visitors coming in seeing me and them telling them how bad I was. I used my time to do the multiplacation table and make words out of another word in my head, In additon, I made promises to myself how it would be when I grew up. One time, for the first time I was allowed a friend over the house, the riducle and all the bad things about me were spoken about. The girl never came back and our friendship stopped in school. Sometimes, I think I have PST just like prisoners in war.I am good at math and words. :)I never shared this before. I stayed away from anyone who knew how I grew up. When I finally left that place, if I saw those people I would be in fear. I wish now I had stood up to them. I even called her Mom , hoping it would be easier on me. It helped a little. Lin