Re: Re: Defusion Questions for a Beginner

August 20, 2011

I used the Feeling Good Handbook religiously too. I found it

tremendously useful and know that using those techniques freed me to

do a lot I would not have otherwise done. Trouble is that it was only

able to take me so far - but I do feel grateful for where it got me.

On Sat, Aug 20, 2011 at 12:54 PM, Vanbuskirk

wrote:

>

> Randy, I am so glad you mentioned the Burns book. That is exactly where

I came from before a therapist told me about ACT. My copy of " Feeling Good " is

completely dog-earred and worn out from all the work I did with that book. So, I

often still have the strong urge to " fix " my thoughts like the book suggests. I

don't think he uses the word fix, but that is the interpretation I made from

doing all the irrational/rational thought journaling. I had VOLUMES of those

journals!! And guess what I also still had??? MY ANXIETY.I always felt like it

was my fault that the anxiety didn't go away, that if I had just worked harder,

that it would have. That is why ACT made so much sense to me when I first

started reading. I tend to go in spurts with reading and practicing ACT because

sometimes anxiety is not a problem for me, but then it rears its' head again

like it is currently doing and I tend to panic that it is going to destroy me

and ruin my life. I also have the thought that if I had been reading and

practicing my ACT more that this wouldn't have happened to me!!So here I am back

to the group which is always so wonderful and back to trying to decide which

area of ACT I need to work on.

>

>> >

>> > What I am doing now is writing down the fused thought and then

>> > rewriting the defused thought. Then I read and the defused

>> > thought and try to make it a replacement.

>> >

>> > So for example I write down, " people think I am dumb " and then

>> > I write " I am having the thought that people think I am dumb. "

>> >

>> > If this is what it takes I will do this exercise over and over

>> > but I am hoping there is something you experts can explain to me

>> > that will make my time more useful.

>>

>> Aha! I think I know what's going on here. You mentioned that you

>> used to do a CBT exercise in which you listed rational versus

>> irrational thoughts. That sounds to me like the kind of exercise

>> I used to do when I was working with " Feeling Good, " a big fat CBT

>> handbook by a fellow named Burns. There were all kinds of

>> exercises that I used to do painstakingly every time my anxiety

>> flared up, involving writing out dysfunctional thoughts, and then

>> writing out more accurate or reasonable thoughts next to them. The

>> point of the exercise was to reduce anxiety by seeing how funky

>> and wrong my dysfunctional thoughts were, and then replacing them

>> with these more accurate thoughts. Never quite worked for me –

>> I would feel better for a little while, but the effect didn't last,

>> and it didn't move me forward my life.

>>

>> Anyway, that's completely different from defusion exercises in ACT.

>> Defusion in ACT is a real-time exercise, not something you do by

>> listing thoughts and then going through the list. Also, you're not

>> trying to replace one thought with another – since you're doing it

>> in real time, the idea is simply to become aware that each thought

>> you experience *is* a thought. It gives you just a little distance

>> from the content of the thought.

>>

>> I'd suggest rereading the section in The Happiness Trap about defusion.

>> I'm pretty sure you'll find that adding " I'm having the thought that ... "

>> is in fact something Russ suggests you do in real time, and not

>> by making lists and then going through the list.

>>

>> I'm having the thought that I'm worried my comments here may come

>> across as critical when I don't mean them that way. And I'm going to

>> go ahead and post them anyway.

>>

>> – Randy

>>

>

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August 20, 2011

Do you have access to a public library - I was able to request books from another branch, which was super helpful. I bought the books I found useful.

I am unemployed so it is hard to afford things that are extra but are any of the for money once super good and perhaps important?

Amen! StanGo to http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/free_resources for lots of free and inexpensive resources.

BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: stealthymangos@...

Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 12:49:24 +0000Subject: Re: Defusion Questions for a Beginner

,

Thank you for your feedback.

In my opinion, the secret of truly understanding ACT is in the doing, not the thinking. It's all too easy to fall into the trap of trying to understand the concepts of acceptance and willingness and values and commitment. Our mind loves trying to solve life's problems, and it will use anything it can get hold of to do it, including books about ACT.

My suggestion is that you put the theory to one side and do the exercises and see what happens. That way you will get the most valuable understanding of all: direct experience.

Books about ACT are like signposts pointing the way to where you want to go. You can study them all you want, but only leaving the sign behind and walking toward where they point will get you closer to where you want to go.

Cheers and lots of love,

Stan

> >

> > ,

> > Bill (in Message #15641) has just mentioned a book by Les Fehmi called Open Focus Brain you might find useful.

> >

> > It's been a couple of years since I read it, but from what I recall, the exercises in the book and on the accompanying CD are a good way to experience the observing self.

> >

> > Cheers,

> > Stan

> >

>

August 20, 2011

Burns is a good writer and that book is well organized.

I used the Feeling Good Handbook religiously too. I found it

tremendously useful and know that using those techniques freed me to

do a lot I would not have otherwise done. Trouble is that it was only

able to take me so far - but I do feel grateful for where it got me.

On Sat, Aug 20, 2011 at 12:54 PM, Vanbuskirk

wrote:

>

> Randy, I am so glad you mentioned the Burns book. That is exactly where I came from before a therapist told me about ACT. My copy of " Feeling Good " is completely dog-earred and worn out from all the work I did with that book. So, I often still have the strong urge to " fix " my thoughts like the book suggests. I don't think he uses the word fix, but that is the interpretation I made from doing all the irrational/rational thought journaling. I had VOLUMES of those journals!! And guess what I also still had??? MY ANXIETY.I always felt like it was my fault that the anxiety didn't go away, that if I had just worked harder, that it would have. That is why ACT made so much sense to me when I first started reading. I tend to go in spurts with reading and practicing ACT because sometimes anxiety is not a problem for me, but then it rears its' head again like it is currently doing and I tend to panic that it is going to destroy me and ruin my life. I also have the thought that if I had been reading and practicing my ACT more that this wouldn't have happened to me!!So here I am back to the group which is always so wonderful and back to trying to decide which area of ACT I need to work on.