RE: Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

[Guest guest]

A small request, can you list the name of the chapter please?  I have the electronic version of the book and the chapters are not numbered, they only have the text title.Thanks

Thanks for the suggestion Bill! I will go have a look at Chapter 12. My mind tends to take part of your advice and in return say, " What if you can't quit giving the anxieties power?? I will have to quit my job and I will put us in a great financial strain!! " I tend to try and turn it into brute force ACT. The term I have heard you use so many times!!! My mind says I must quit giving them power. My mind tends to think if you are feeling anxiety, then you are giving it power and so not giving it power would mean it would go away but I know according to ACT that is not the goal but it sure seems like a good idea to my mind!!! Hope you noticed I am saying " my mind says... " . I am trying to look at things from the observing self.

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> Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

> Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two paragraphs.

> Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

> Bill

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> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...

> Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

> Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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>       Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind I hold this perception of " the good teacher " . So when a child comes along that is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

>

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[Guest guest]

"How the Struggle Switch Developed". Also have a look at the previous chapter - The Struggle Switch.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: phil.k.dawson@...Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011 11:04:54 -0700Subject: Re: Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

A small request, can you list the name of the chapter please? I have the electronic version of the book and the chapters are not numbered, they only have the text title.Thanks

Thanks for the suggestion Bill! I will go have a look at Chapter 12. My mind tends to take part of your advice and in return say, "What if you can't quit giving the anxieties power?? I will have to quit my job and I will put us in a great financial strain!!" I tend to try and turn it into brute force ACT. The term I have heard you use so many times!!! My mind says I must quit giving them power. My mind tends to think if you are feeling anxiety, then you are giving it power and so not giving it power would mean it would go away but I know according to ACT that is not the goal but it sure seems like a good idea to my mind!!! Hope you noticed I am saying "my mind says...". I am trying to look at things from the observing self.

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> Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

> Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two paragraphs.

> Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

> Bill

>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...

> Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

> Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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> Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind I hold this perception of "the good teacher". So when a child comes along that is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

>

------------------------------------

For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

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[Guest guest]

Hi - To quit your job might be the ultimate in empowering the anxiety demon. Or it could be the ultimate in committed action if teaching is inconsistent with your values.I did notice that you are saying "my mind says..." But I also notice that you are still believing what it is telling you. Have you actually tried really thanking it and meaning it when it delivers an unhelpful thought? Would you believe it if it said you are a banana? Probably not since your experience is that you are not a banana. What is your experience about being a teacher? Are you a good one? My bet is yes. Our anxiety is like the Unwanted Party Guest.

ACT way to deal with it is ACCEPTANCE.Have you heard of Psychological Flexing or PFing? It is a technique to help build skills in taking the direction towards one's values rather than away from them. It uses a matrix based on the hexaflex. I've found it very helpful in bringing ACT down to the real-time, moment-by-moment action process. go to http://drkevinpolk.com/ I will "loan" you my Kindle copy of the manual if you are interested.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011 18:00:53 +0000Subject: Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

Thanks for the suggestion Bill! I will go have a look at Chapter 12. My mind tends to take part of your advice and in return say, "What if you can't quit giving the anxieties power?? I will have to quit my job and I will put us in a great financial strain!!" I tend to try and turn it into brute force ACT. The term I have heard you use so many times!!! My mind says I must quit giving them power. My mind tends to think if you are feeling anxiety, then you are giving it power and so not giving it power would mean it would go away but I know according to ACT that is not the goal but it sure seems like a good idea to my mind!!! Hope you noticed I am saying "my mind says...". I am trying to look at things from the observing self.

>

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> Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

> Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two paragraphs.

> Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

> Bill

>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...

> Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

> Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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> Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind I hold this perception of "the good teacher". So when a child comes along that is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

>

[Guest guest]

If you were your own student, what would you tell yourself? Putting aside, for a moment, the "wise saying" - only a fool has herself for a teacher - this might put the problem in a different light so that you might imagine what you would tell a student who was struggling with this issue.

Just food for thought - FWIW : )

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Saturday, August 20, 2011 4:18:24 PMSubject: Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

I believe teaching is consistent with my values, but it does cause me to feel a lot more anxiety than I otherwise feel so I tend to want to run like the wind away from that anxiety source. I wish my anxiety wasn't centered around something I do day in and day out. It is not something I can ease into a little at a time. There I go accessing my mind's "I wish" story!! I would love to have a copy of the pfing manual but I don't have a kindle. I have read a little about it but I think I got confused and quit! But I do feel like I need to build up my skills!! > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.> > > Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two paragraphs.> > > Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.> > > Bill> > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > > > From: leslie.vanbuskirk@> > > Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000> > > Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind I hold this perception of "the good teacher". So when a child comes along that is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??> > >>

[Guest guest]

Hi - You can download KINDLE for PC, MAC and many smart phones. go to http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=sa_menu_karl3?ie=UTF8 & docId=1000493771. Let me know when you've done it and I'll do the loan thing. It's only for two weeks but the book is very short.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:18:24 +0000Subject: Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

I believe teaching is consistent with my values, but it does cause me to feel a lot more anxiety than I otherwise feel so I tend to want to run like the wind away from that anxiety source. I wish my anxiety wasn't centered around something I do day in and day out. It is not something I can ease into a little at a time. There I go accessing my mind's "I wish" story!! I would love to have a copy of the pfing manual but I don't have a kindle. I have read a little about it but I think I got confused and quit! But I do feel like I need to build up my skills!!

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> > Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

>

> > Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two paragraphs.

>

> > Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

>

> > Bill

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> > To: ACT_for_the_Public

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> > From: leslie.vanbuskirk@

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> > Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

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> > Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind I hold this perception of "the good teacher". So when a child comes along that is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

>

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