Re: Help with my struggle switch!!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the suggestion Bill! I will go have a look at Chapter 12. My mind

tends to take part of your advice and in return say, " What if you can't quit

giving the anxieties power?? I will have to quit my job and I will put us in a

great financial strain!! " I tend to try and turn it into brute force ACT. The

term I have heard you use so many times!!! My mind says I must quit giving them

power. My mind tends to think if you are feeling anxiety, then you are giving it

power and so not giving it power would mean it would go away but I know

according to ACT that is not the goal but it sure seems like a good idea to my

mind!!! Hope you noticed I am saying " my mind says... " . I am trying to look at

things from the observing self.

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> Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly frustrating

to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But they have no

power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them. They are

whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

> Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two

paragraphs.

> Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it,

with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

> Bill

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> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> From: leslie.vanbuskirk@...

> Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

> Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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> Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties

again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with

the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a

teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind

I hold this perception of " the good teacher " . So when a child comes along that

is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat

to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a

good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total

control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work

and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I

change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of

nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to

dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to

fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that

would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so

difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the

struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do

some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

>

[Guest guest]

I believe teaching is consistent with my values, but it does cause me to feel a

lot more anxiety than I otherwise feel so I tend to want to run like the wind

away from that anxiety source. I wish my anxiety wasn't centered around

something I do day in and day out. It is not something I can ease into a little

at a time. There I go accessing my mind's " I wish " story!! I would love to have

a copy of the pfing manual but I don't have a kindle. I have read a little about

it but I think I got confused and quit! But I do feel like I need to build up my

skills!!

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> > Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly

frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But

they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them.

They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

>

> > Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two

paragraphs.

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> > Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of it,

with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

>

> > Bill

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> > To: ACT_for_the_Public

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> > From: leslie.vanbuskirk@

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> > Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

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> > Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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> > Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties

again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with

the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a

teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind

I hold this perception of " the good teacher " . So when a child comes along that

is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat

to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a

good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total

control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work

and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I

change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of

nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to

dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to

fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that

would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so

difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the

struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do

some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It's a precious gift to have employment with something you value.

You might try slowing down your thoughts and re-directing them to that which you

are valuing, that which you're grateful for and what gives you pleasure with

respect to teaching. Not like a cure for what we call anxiety but as a way to

focus and quiet things down some, because if you're anything like me, the

anxious thoughts are like a run-away train at times and in need of being starved

some. I'm reading 's book " Things " and finding it very useful as I let it

simmer. There is very interesting discussion about where anxiety can't thrive,

about the difference between fears and what we language up to be labeled

anxiety. Lots of helpful exercises and suggestions tucked in this book.

I'm thinking this exercise is a bit like an extension of 's " sitting on

your hands " expanded upon here yesterday (thanks to Bill sharing with us 's

take) in the sense we make an active choice to pay attention to the fullness of

the moment and not feed the un-productive version the mind generates.

I'm also wondering if you've been able to find other healthy ways to take care

of yourself (paying attention to diet, exercise, fun stuff, hobbies, etc.). For

me, including these in my routine more and more make a huge difference on my

perspective--not so much directly, but more indirectly. It's like the anxiety

obsession becomes less of an overblown focus, not as " in my face " . In other

words, it turns out that feeding and nurturing other parts of me helps all of

me. Sounds obvious as I write this, but really something I need to consciously

remind myself of. Again, not as a formula to get rid of or reduce the anxiety,

but really just another way of learning to have it without it having me. This

is something I can control.

May you find some peace with your teaching.

Terry

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> > > Hi - It's good to hear from you again. It must be terribly

frustrating to see those nasty demons have been waiting for you all summer. But

they have no power, other than the power you give them by struggling with them.

They are whimpering blobs without your empowerment.

> >

> > > Have a look at The Happiness Trap, chapter 12, especially the last two

paragraphs.

> >

> > > Can you look at ACT with a beginner's mind as if you have never heard of

it, with curiosity? That might open it up to seeing how ACT can help.

> >

> > > Bill

> >

> > >

> >

> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public

> >

> > > From: leslie.vanbuskirk@

> >

> > > Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:25:46 +0000

> >

> > > Subject: Help with my struggle switch!!

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> > > Well, school is back in session for me so here come the anxieties

again!! My main anxiety, which I have said here before, involves dealing with

the behavior of children. It is so easy for me to tie my worth or success as a

teacher to whether or not children behave appropriately. In the back of my mind

I hold this perception of " the good teacher " . So when a child comes along that

is difficult, my anxiety kicks into major overdrive. I see them as such a threat

to my perception of the good teacher. Also, part of this perception is that a

good teacher shouldn't have these anxieties. She is supposed to be in total

control of the situation!!!This is so strong that it overtakes me while at work

and then I continue to feel the anxiety when work is over as well.I feel like I

change completely from a relaxed confident person to a nonfunctioning bundle of

nerves!! Intellectually I know these thoughts are unrealistic. I know I need to

dust off my ACT toolkit but I get so confused as to where to begin!!The urge to

fix my thinking is so strong. It seems like if I could just get that done, that

would be my answer. I know better than that from all my ACT reading but it is so

difficult to let go of the struggle. I feel like I am struggling with the

struggle!!! Just need some advice from y'all on where to begin once again. Do

some of y'all feel like you go back to square one sometimes??

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