Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Nicely put, Randy!D > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am > so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed > hell. Will I be here in a few years trying the next big thing > because ACT doesn't work? I sympathize. Personally, I have been practicing ACT since 2005, and I can't say my life has undergone any sort of radical transformation. I have many more dark days and many more dark thoughts than I speak of on this list - so much so, that at times, I have the thought I am an imposture for posting anything that seems helpful and encouraging to others. Who am I to give advice? And yet despite my dark days and dark thoughts I keep coming back to ACT. I'm like a comet orbiting the solar system: I spend a lot of time around Pluto, but every now and then I loop back and visit the Sun. Another way I might describe my life is that I spend a lot of time in a sleep of despair. During this sleep, I mistake my words about my life for my actual life. I can sleep on for days or weeks or even months. But since 2005, I have noticed a difference: suddenly - who knows why - I will remember an idea from ACT so vividly that it pierces my sleep like a bucket of ice water and I wake up. And each time I wake, I have the impression I have woken up just a little bit more than the last time. Which is to say that ice water or no, I have been so _very_ asleep, and for so many years or even decades, that waking up seems to be coming by degrees rather than all at once. I am still working on what to do in those periods of time when I am awake. I do think we need to make ACT our own, and not rely just on the books or on what other people say. As clever as I am at parroting ACT jargon, I get the most benefit not from what I write or read about ACT, but from the actual moments of being awake. When I stop yawning I can see I am more than just my suffering. I want to use this awareness to work toward (a) being here, and ( doing more good stuff. Just lately, I have come to see that even though ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action, the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a way our values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ be arbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if you look at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on. So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather than Taking It All Completely Seriously. Nothing here is meant as advice - but I hope you stick with ACT and see what parts of it you can make your own. And I hope you can see as I sometimes do that you are much more than your suffering. -- Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I agree. You really hit it square on the mark, Randy. I will be saving this one to re-read! Thanks, Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2012 10:25:10 AMSubject: Re: Re: Losing hope.... Nicely put, Randy! D > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am> so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed> hell. Will I be here in a few years trying the next big thing> because ACT doesn't work?I sympathize. Personally, I have been practicing ACT since 2005, andI can't say my life has undergone any sort of radicaltransformation. I have many more dark days and many more darkthoughts than I speak of on this list - so much so, that at times, Ihave the thought I am an imposture for posting anything that seemshelpful and encouraging to others. Who am I to give advice?And yet despite my dark days and dark thoughts I keep coming back toACT. I'm like a comet orbiting the solar system: I spend a lot oftime around Pluto, but every now and then I loop back and visit theSun.Another way I might describe my life is that I spend a lot of timein a sleep of despair. During this sleep, I mistake my words aboutmy life for my actual life. I can sleep on for days or weeks or evenmonths. But since 2005, I have noticed a difference: suddenly - whoknows why - I will remember an idea from ACT so vividly that itpierces my sleep like a bucket of ice water and I wake up. And eachtime I wake, I have the impression I have woken up just a little bitmore than the last time. Which is to say that ice water or no, Ihave been so _very_ asleep, and for so many years or even decades, that waking up seems to be coming by degrees rather than all at once.I am still working on what to do in those periods of time when I amawake. I do think we need to make ACT our own, and not rely just onthe books or on what other people say. As clever as I am atparroting ACT jargon, I get the most benefit not from what I writeor read about ACT, but from the actual moments of being awake. When I stop yawning I can see I am more than just my suffering. Iwant to use this awareness to work toward (a) being here, and (b)doing more good stuff. Just lately, I have come to see that eventhough ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action,the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a wayour values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ bearbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if youlook at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on.So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather thanTaking It All Completely Seriously. Nothing here is meant as advice - but I hope you stick with ACT andsee what parts of it you can make your own. And I hope you can seeas I sometimes do that you are much more than your suffering.-- Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I have a bracelet I wear with an engraving in Hebrew: " This too Shall Pass " In the midst of the horror of self-criticism, open your eyes wideand look out on the world. Touch the tooth ache you do not now have. In your next breath remember that somewhere, someone is laboring tobreath. In the joy of progress and presence, open your eyes wideand look out on the world. Touch finitude. Appreciate the moment without grasping at itIt you can let go of attachement to the internal score keeping, do remember to show some gentleness to the scorekeeper part of you that says in desperation: " some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning. " It isnot your enemy, nor your friend. It is a part of you that is massively useful ... just not here. Like a small child insisting he knows how torebuild a house, be kind to him but don't give him the hammer.It is not so bad to go back to the beginning although minds hate it.It keeps us humble and reminds us that this is notabout achievement. It is about presence. A little video that may set the context for this work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flkFW5E0XcMThere are others here who feel deeply what you are saying.And then there is that next breath ... We are all with youPeace, love, and life- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of Nevada Reno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join If you see it as self-imposed hell, ask yourself if you're willing to step out some. This work doesn't happen in our heads. If kindness and acceptance with yourself isn't at the top of your list of your values, as Steve has suggested..why do the work at all? If it's hopelessness or worry your mind is struggling with,start there. I find ACT processes very simple and freeing if I continue to quietly decline my mind's invitation to struggle. And if I practice slowly, steadily, everywhere. The best way to start is where you are. It's really a moment by moment deal. There will be moments when it feels like I've gone sideways or backwards. Breathe. Hold Lightly. This too shall pass. Keep coming back to the table, with less of your mind and more of your self. kind regards, Terry > > I have struggled for years with my negative self talk, low self esteem, depression and more recently anxiety. I have read so many books and tried so hard to just 'be' and be happy. I remember how hopeful I felt when I was first introduced to CBT. It was groundbreaking and the testimonials from all of those people who were just like me but were now cured gave me so much hope. It didn't work for me and of course I beat myself up and cried that I was such a failure and couldn't get it to work. > > Then I discovered ACT and the Happiness Trap which told me I'm not a failure and that CBT does not work. I have been practicing ACT for some time and some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning. > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed hell. Will I be here I'n a few years trying the next big thing because ACT doesn't work? > > I would really love to know where you get the strength to keep trying...... > > I have wanted to post on here before but have been afraid to put my feelings out there. Please be kind! > > Tara > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Thanks for sharing Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless Re: Losing hope.... > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am> so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed> hell. Will I be here in a few years trying the next big thing> because ACT doesn't work?I sympathize. Personally, I have been practicing ACT since 2005, andI can't say my life has undergone any sort of radicaltransformation. I have many more dark days and many more darkthoughts than I speak of on this list - so much so, that at times, Ihave the thought I am an imposture for posting anything that seemshelpful and encouraging to others. Who am I to give advice?And yet despite my dark days and dark thoughts I keep coming back toACT. I'm like a comet orbiting the solar system: I spend a lot oftime around Pluto, but every now and then I loop back and visit theSun.Another way I might describe my life is that I spend a lot of timein a sleep of despair. During this sleep, I mistake my words aboutmy life for my actual life. I can sleep on for days or weeks or evenmonths. But since 2005, I have noticed a difference: suddenly - whoknows why - I will remember an idea from ACT so vividly that itpierces my sleep like a bucket of ice water and I wake up. And eachtime I wake, I have the impression I have woken up just a little bitmore than the last time. Which is to say that ice water or no, Ihave been so _very_ asleep, and for so many years or even decades, that waking up seems to be coming by degrees rather than all at once.I am still working on what to do in those periods of time when I amawake. I do think we need to make ACT our own, and not rely just onthe books or on what other people say. As clever as I am atparroting ACT jargon, I get the most benefit not from what I writeor read about ACT, but from the actual moments of being awake. When I stop yawning I can see I am more than just my suffering. Iwant to use this awareness to work toward (a) being here, and (b)doing more good stuff. Just lately, I have come to see that eventhough ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action,the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a wayour values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ bearbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if youlook at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on.So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather thanTaking It All Completely Seriously. Nothing here is meant as advice - but I hope you stick with ACT andsee what parts of it you can make your own. And I hope you can seeas I sometimes do that you are much more than your suffering.-- Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Spot on as usual. ThanksTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: stevenchayes@...Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:52:21 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Losing hope.... I have a bracelet I wear with an engraving in Hebrew:"This too Shall Pass"In the midst of the horror of self-criticism, open your eyes wideand look out on the world. Touch the tooth ache you do not now have. In your next breath remember that somewhere, someone is laboring tobreath. In the joy of progress and presence, open your eyes wideand look out on the world. Touch finitude. Appreciate the moment without grasping at itIt you can let go of attachement to the internal score keeping, do remember to show some gentleness to the scorekeeper part of you that says in desperation: "some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning." It isnot your enemy, nor your friend. It is a part of you that is massively useful ... just not here. Like a small child insisting he knows how torebuild a house, be kind to him but don't give him the hammer.It is not so bad to go back to the beginning although minds hate it.It keeps us humble and reminds us that this is notabout achievement. It is about presence. A little video that may set the context for this work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flkFW5E0XcMThere are others here who feel deeply what you are saying.And then there is that next breath ... We are all with youPeace, love, and life- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of Nevada Reno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@... Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join If you see it as self-imposed hell, ask yourself if you're willing to step out some. This work doesn't happen in our heads. If kindness and acceptance with yourself isn't at the top of your list of your values, as Steve has suggested..why do the work at all? If it's hopelessness or worry your mind is struggling with,start there. I find ACT processes very simple and freeing if I continue to quietly decline my mind's invitation to struggle. And if I practice slowly, steadily, everywhere. The best way to start is where you are. It's really a moment by moment deal. There will be moments when it feels like I've gone sideways or backwards. Breathe. Hold Lightly. This too shall pass. Keep coming back to the table, with less of your mind and more of your self. kind regards, Terry > > I have struggled for years with my negative self talk, low self esteem, depression and more recently anxiety. I have read so many books and tried so hard to just 'be' and be happy. I remember how hopeful I felt when I was first introduced to CBT. It was groundbreaking and the testimonials from all of those people who were just like me but were now cured gave me so much hope. It didn't work for me and of course I beat myself up and cried that I was such a failure and couldn't get it to work. > > Then I discovered ACT and the Happiness Trap which told me I'm not a failure and that CBT does not work. I have been practicing ACT for some time and some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning. > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed hell. Will I be here I'n a few years trying the next big thing because ACT doesn't work? > > I would really love to know where you get the strength to keep trying...... > > I have wanted to post on here before but have been afraid to put my feelings out there. Please be kind! > > Tara > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Thank you for responding Randy. Today I feel better and am feeling more hopeful and it helps that I can be in contact with people who actually understand how this feels. I guess the hardest part for me is the rollercoaster of emotions. yesterday everything felt so hopeless and today things do not look so bad.....I will keep moving on and working on mindfulness. Thank you; your words really help. To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012, 0:18Subject: Re: Losing hope.... > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am> so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed> hell. Will I be here in a few years trying the next big thing> because ACT doesn't work?I sympathize. Personally, I have been practicing ACT since 2005, andI can't say my life has undergone any sort of radicaltransformation. I have many more dark days and many more darkthoughts than I speak of on this list - so much so, that at times, Ihave the thought I am an imposture for posting anything that seemshelpful and encouraging to others. Who am I to give advice?And yet despite my dark days and dark thoughts I keep coming back toACT. I'm like a comet orbiting the solar system: I spend a lot oftime around Pluto, but every now and then I loop back and visit theSun.Another way I might describe my life is that I spend a lot of timein a sleep of despair. During this sleep, I mistake my words aboutmy life for my actual life. I can sleep on for days or weeks or evenmonths. But since 2005, I have noticed a difference: suddenly - whoknows why - I will remember an idea from ACT so vividly that itpierces my sleep like a bucket of ice water and I wake up. And eachtime I wake, I have the impression I have woken up just a little bitmore than the last time. Which is to say that ice water or no, Ihave been so _very_ asleep, and for so many years or even decades, that waking up seems to be coming by degrees rather than all at once.I am still working on what to do in those periods of time when I amawake. I do think we need to make ACT our own, and not rely just onthe books or on what other people say. As clever as I am atparroting ACT jargon, I get the most benefit not from what I writeor read about ACT, but from the actual moments of being awake. When I stop yawning I can see I am more than just my suffering. Iwant to use this awareness to work toward (a) being here, and (b)doing more good stuff. Just lately, I have come to see that eventhough ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action,the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a wayour values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ bearbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if youlook at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on.So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather thanTaking It All Completely Seriously. Nothing here is meant as advice - but I hope you stick with ACT andsee what parts of it you can make your own. And I hope you can seeas I sometimes do that you are much more than your suffering.-- Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Thank you . You always have such an amazing way of putting these things into words that are meaningful. I enjoyed the video also. It means a lot to be able to communicate with people in an honest way and to feel understood. Today feels like a better day. To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012, 4:52Subject: Re: Re: Losing hope.... I have a bracelet I wear with an engraving in Hebrew: "This too Shall Pass" In the midst of the horror of self-criticism, open your eyes wide and look out on the world. Touch the tooth ache you do not now have. In your next breath remember that somewhere, someone is laboring to breath. In the joy of progress and presence, open your eyes wide and look out on the world. Touch finitude. Appreciate the moment without grasping at it It you can let go of attachement to the internal score keeping, do remember to show some gentleness to the scorekeeper part of you that says in desperation: "some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning." It is not your enemy, nor your friend. It is a part of you that is massively useful ... just not here. Like a small child insisting he knows how to rebuild a house, be kind to him but don't give him the hammer. It is not so bad to go back to the beginning although minds hate it. It keeps us humble and reminds us that this is not about achievement. It is about presence. A little video that may set the context for this work: There are others here who feel deeply what you are saying. And then there is that next breath ... We are all with you Peace, love, and life - S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinor the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join If you see it as self-imposed hell, ask yourself if you're willing to step out some. This work doesn't happen in our heads. If kindness and acceptance with yourself isn't at the top of your list of your values, as Steve has suggested..why do the work at all? If it's hopelessness or worry your mind is struggling with,start there. I find ACT processes very simple and freeing if I continue to quietly decline my mind's invitation to struggle. And if I practice slowly, steadily, everywhere. The best way to start is where you are. It's really a moment by moment deal. There will be moments when it feels like I've gone sideways or backwards. Breathe. Hold Lightly. This too shall pass. Keep coming back to the table, with less of your mind and more of your self. kind regards,Terry >> I have struggled for years with my negative self talk, low self esteem, depression and more recently anxiety. I have read so many books and tried so hard to just 'be' and be happy. I remember how hopeful I felt when I was first introduced to CBT. It was groundbreaking and the testimonials from all of those people who were just like me but were now cured gave me so much hope. It didn't work for me and of course I beat myself up and cried that I was such a failure and couldn't get it to work. > > Then I discovered ACT and the Happiness Trap which told me I'm not a failure and that CBT does not work. I have been practicing ACT for some time and some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning. > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed hell. Will I be here I'n a few years trying the next big thing because ACT doesn't work? > > I would really love to know where you get the strength to keep trying......> > I have wanted to post on here before but have been afraid to put my feelings out there. Please be kind! > > Tara> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Hi Tara I think you can learn a lot from the fact that you feel better today than yesterday, even though nothing material has changed in your life. Our emotions are fickle. Try seeing the "good day" just as much of an imposter as the "bad day". There's no real difference, except in our head. The aim of our lives is not to have as many "good days" as we can, and as few "bad days" as we can get away with. That's the Happiness Trap, as you probably have seen. On defusion techniques under times of stress: (1) I found that it is possible to practice defusion by bringing on uncomfortable and disturbing thoughts at a time convenient to me. I'd do this in the bath, or in my bedroom when no-one else is around. It sounds daft to purposely bring on thoughts that make me upset, but I found it worked. More practice in a 'controlled' environment can make it come easier out in the real world. (2) You might find it helpful to carry something to help you to remember what to do. It might be a little card in your purse saying "Notice 5 things". Or a series of questions: what can you see? what can you hear? what can you smell....... etc. It might make things a bit easier in those difficult moments to just follow a series of instructions, rather than try to think about what is best to do. Cheers, x To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012, 23:06 Subject: Re: Re: Losing hope.... Thank you for responding Randy. Today I feel better and am feeling more hopeful and it helps that I can be in contact with people who actually understand how this feels. I guess the hardest part for me is the rollercoaster of emotions. yesterday everything felt so hopeless and today things do not look so bad.....I will keep moving on and working on mindfulness. Thank you; your words really help. To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012, 0:18Subject: Re: Losing hope.... > > I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am> so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed> hell. Will I be here in a few years trying the next big thing> because ACT doesn't work?I sympathize. Personally, I have been practicing ACT since 2005, andI can't say my life has undergone any sort of radicaltransformation. I have many more dark days and many more darkthoughts than I speak of on this list - so much so, that at times, Ihave the thought I am an imposture for posting anything that seemshelpful and encouraging to others. Who am I to give advice?And yet despite my dark days and dark thoughts I keep coming back toACT. I'm like a comet orbiting the solar system: I spend a lot oftime around Pluto, but every now and then I loop back and visit theSun.Another way I might describe my life is that I spend a lot of timein a sleep of despair. During this sleep, I mistake my words aboutmy life for my actual life. I can sleep on for days or weeks or evenmonths. But since 2005, I have noticed a difference: suddenly - whoknows why - I will remember an idea from ACT so vividly that itpierces my sleep like a bucket of ice water and I wake up. And eachtime I wake, I have the impression I have woken up just a little bitmore than the last time. Which is to say that ice water or no, Ihave been so _very_ asleep, and for so many years or even decades, that waking up seems to be coming by degrees rather than all at once.I am still working on what to do in those periods of time when I amawake. I do think we need to make ACT our own, and not rely just onthe books or on what other people say. As clever as I am atparroting ACT jargon, I get the most benefit not from what I writeor read about ACT, but from the actual moments of being awake. When I stop yawning I can see I am more than just my suffering. Iwant to use this awareness to work toward (a) being here, and (b)doing more good stuff. Just lately, I have come to see that eventhough ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action,the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a wayour values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ bearbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if youlook at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on.So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather thanTaking It All Completely Seriously. Nothing here is meant as advice - but I hope you stick with ACT andsee what parts of it you can make your own. And I hope you can seeas I sometimes do that you are much more than your suffering.-- Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Hi all, I am new here, have yet to read Mr. ' or Mr. ' books, but just knowing that we should accept instead of fight negative emotions has already helped me. Randy's paragraph below resonates with me, plays right into this amazing book I've just read, and will perpetually re-read, P. Carse's Finite and Infinite Games. Let's play! Dindit > Just lately, I have come to see that even > though ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action, > the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a way > our values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ be > arbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if you > look at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on. > So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather than > Taking It All Completely Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Thanks all for this fantastic thread. So much to learn from each other. It's fantastic that people on this list are so understanding and helpful Sent from my iPhone Hi all, I am new here, have yet to read Mr. ' or Mr. ' books, but just knowing that we should accept instead of fight negative emotions has already helped me. Randy's paragraph below resonates with me, plays right into this amazing book I've just read, and will perpetually re-read, P. Carse's Finite and Infinite Games. Let's play! Dindit > Just lately, I have come to see that even > though ACT places great importance on valuing and committed action, > the only way to actually do these things is to accept that in a way > our values and our goals are arbitrary. In fact they _must_ be > arbitrary, if we are to stick with them. Any value or goal, if you > look at it hard enough, can be evaluated negatively and given up on. > So I'm looking at what games I can play with valuing rather than > Taking It All Completely Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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