Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer. But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. Helena From: " L" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PMSubject: Re: The F word Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? Lou (No offence intended of course) To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AMSubject: The F word This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Hi Folks,Here is how I see it:In our minds, quite a few curse words add an extra flare to what's going on in 'thought world'. This can be seen as an implicit judgement given by our brains, and nothing else. When our minds/brains say "I don't like what this person is saying" compared to "I don't like what this fucking person is saying" or "I don't like what this person is fucking saying", there seems to be a slant on each component depending on where the judgmental expletive is placed (our brains are pointing out WHICH part is the most offensive/bad/whatever - the person saying it, what they're saying, blah blah blah). Perhaps best to ignore where it's at and see it as just another thought on the thought stream and let it float by, regardless of where it winds up in any particular thought... And in normal conversation to remember what others' brains will interpret if we use these words, and keep them quiet in the spirit of understanding how these things work. In no way am I slamming anyone for bringing this up or using it, either. Please understand that... I am, myself, learning how to use language that better undermines my and other peoples' tendencies to steer towards a less neutral position when talking about things.Just a thought or two,Matt To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 7:19 PM Subject: Re: The F word Yes Helena, I see, ACT girlfriend. When you say, "I don't give a fuck what you do...", it does feel very offensive/hurtful (Bill would tell me there is the place for defusion :-) but there is a difference between being told the assistance offered is to pray. I guess it is in the intent, or probably more acurately, the way it is percieved by the mind and I acknowledge that my mind/emotions are not always the best descriptors of what is really going on. With respect, Lou To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 12:28 PM Subject: Re: The F word I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer. But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. Helena From: " L" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PMSubject: Re: The F word Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? Lou (No offence intended of course) To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AMSubject: The F word This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 And to be clear, I drop F-bombs frequently... But I am making an effort, because I value communication with others, to keep things neutral so I can communicate with anyone I talk to at any time in any situation. F-bombs and other offensives can come out after a bit of conversation and familiarity, and when they seem fun and useful with a particular person... To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 7:19 PM Subject: Re: The F word Yes Helena, I see, ACT girlfriend. When you say, "I don't give a fuck what you do...", it does feel very offensive/hurtful (Bill would tell me there is the place for defusion :-) but there is a difference between being told the assistance offered is to pray. I guess it is in the intent, or probably more acurately, the way it is percieved by the mind and I acknowledge that my mind/emotions are not always the best descriptors of what is really going on. With respect, Lou To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 12:28 PM Subject: Re: The F word I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer. But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. Helena From: " L" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PMSubject: Re: The F word Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? Lou (No offence intended of course) To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AMSubject: The F word This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Good morning Lou - sipping my first cuppa coffee here. Of course, I do care what you do in private, but not if you use the f word in private; I thought that would have been clear in light of the context of our discussion and, therefore, not taken as hurtful. I'm sorry if you took it another way, which I think points out one problem with using the word at all - actually, any and all words can be taken in a way unintended by the writer in this medium - but the f word in particular, methinks. Anyway, I thought our exchange was private or I wouldn't have used it at all! Got caught by not paying close enough attention to whom my post was directed; got to remember that "reply" goes to the group, while in most groups I'm in, you must use "reply all" to post to the group. So my apologies to the group as well. I hope there are no hard or unhappy feelings, truly! Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 9:19:02 PMSubject: Re: The F word Yes Helena, I see, ACT girlfriend. When you say, "I don't give a fuck what you do...", it does feel very offensive/hurtful (Bill would tell me there is the place for defusion :-) but there is a difference between being told the assistance offered is to pray. I guess it is in the intent, or probably more acurately, the way it is percieved by the mind and I acknowledge that my mind/emotions are not always the best descriptors of what is really going on. With respect, Lou To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 12:28 PMSubject: Re: The F word I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer. But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. Helena From: " L" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PMSubject: Re: The F word Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? Lou (No offence intended of course) To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AMSubject: The F word This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Thanks for your insightful reply, Matt. I love your email handle, General Bonkers! Good points all, I think. As for me, I think I need to just skim right over stuff that annoys me or just doesn't seem right to me on a public forum - I can do that! Sometimes people are under a lot of pressure from anxiety or depression when they post and are not taking the time to be aware of the effect their choice of words may have on others. Compassion from all of us is in order, even if we cringe, as I'm sure we all do here from time to time. God knows I've elicited the "cringe response" at times. Oops ... pro'ly did it again with "God." Best, Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 10:47:33 PMSubject: Re: The F word Hi Folks, Here is how I see it: In our minds, quite a few curse words add an extra flare to what's going on in 'thought world'. This can be seen as an implicit judgement given by our brains, and nothing else. When our minds/brains say "I don't like what this person is saying" compared to "I don't like what this fucking person is saying" or "I don't like what this person is fucking saying", there seems to be a slant on each component depending on where the judgmental expletive is placed (our brains are pointing out WHICH part is the most offensive/bad/whatever - the person saying it, what they're saying, blah blah blah). Perhaps best to ignore where it's at and see it as just another thought on the thought stream and let it float by, regardless of where it winds up in any particular thought... And in normal conversation to remember what others' brains will interpret if we use these words, and keep them quiet in the spirit of understanding how these things work. In no way am I slamming anyone for bringing this up or using it, either. Please understand that... I am, myself, learning how to use language that better undermines my and other peoples' tendencies to steer towards a less neutral position when talking about things. Just a thought or two, Matt From: L <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 7:19 PMSubject: Re: The F word Yes Helena, I see, ACT girlfriend. When you say, "I don't give a fuck what you do...", it does feel very offensive/hurtful (Bill would tell me there is the place for defusion :-) but there is a difference between being told the assistance offered is to pray. I guess it is in the intent, or probably more acurately, the way it is percieved by the mind and I acknowledge that my mind/emotions are not always the best descriptors of what is really going on. With respect, Lou To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 12:28 PMSubject: Re: The F word I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer. But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. Helena From: " L" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PMSubject: Re: The F word Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? Lou (No offence intended of course) To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AMSubject: The F word This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I wasn't offended because of the context in which it was used - it was not meant to harm anyone. At work we use the F word all the time and it is not really swearing as it is just a meaningless word. Out of work I never swear, not even with close friends and family. It is interesting how journalists use it in newspaper articles nowadays. Kv > > And to be clear, I drop F-bombs frequently...  But I am making an effort, because I value communication with others, to keep things neutral so I can communicate with anyone I talk to at any time in any situation.  F-bombs and other offensives can come out after a bit of conversation and familiarity, and when they seem fun and useful with a particular person... > > > > ________________________________ > From: L experiential2012@... > To: " ACT_for_the_Public " ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 7:19 PM > Subject: Re: The F word > > >  > Yes Helena, >  > I see, ACT girlfriend. When you say, " I don't give a fuck what you do... " , it does feel very offensive/hurtful (Bill would tell me there is the place for defusion :-) but there is a difference between being told the assistance offered is to pray. I guess it is in the intent, or probably more acurately, the way it is percieved by the mind and I acknowledge that my mind/emotions are not always the best descriptors of what is really going on. >  > With respect, >  > Lou > > From: hbbr hbbr@... > To: ACT for the Public ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 12:28 PM > Subject: Re: The F word > > >  > I am not personally offended with the word fuck or God or prayer.  But some might be. The F word might be more offensive than the word God or prayer, however, to most people. I could be wrong, of course. Why not be civil and honor what might be considered most offensive and avoid it? Can't you talk in public without that word? I don't give a fuck what you do in private. >  > Helena >  > From: " L " experiential2012@... > To: " ACT for the Public " ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 8:12:08 PM > Subject: Re: The F word > >  > Maybe we both need to defuse Helena, me with my offence to people using words like 'God' and 'praying' etc. and you with the F word? >  > Lou (No offence intended of course) > > From: hbbr hbbr@... > To: ACT for the Public ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 26 January 2012 11:26 AM > Subject: The F word > > >  > This has been on my mind for awhile. Any writer on this forum who uses the F word is not being polite to those readers who cringe at that word and don't want to hear it. Can we not all be civil and respectful to each other? I'm no better than anyone here and do use that word in my daily life more than I care to admit. But here? Not necessary...not polite...not compassionate. Drunk? Maybe. But no excuse. >  > Helena > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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