Re: Anxiety as a Condition to...

January 25, 2012

Hi Tom & All,

Here is a link to a interesting article by Ron Siegal on ' 'Befriending Fear and Darkness' - Mindfulness For Treating Anxiety'

http://www.nicabm.com/mindfulness-for-professionals/2/?affid=740021

Also - changing the subject. Does anyone know how I can delete all my posts from this forum? I'm feeling shy all of a sudden!

Simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 25 January 2012, 17:26Subject: Anxiety as a Condition to...

I was facing or experiencing my anxiety again and again recently. It seems my anxiety just seems to keep surfacing, like waves on a beach, some waves bigger than others, but they do keep crashing in again and again.Then I thought WHAT IF? What if my anxiety will never go away, it will never be cured, and in fact it will always be there, it just that maybe i can deal w it better as time goes by. But it will never be defeated or cured or overcomed. Its a condition of my history, maybe my upbringing.And what if? Anxiety is a condition to be lived, and that anxiety signals risk, that when anxiety comes along, that may mean that i am risking myself some how, in a way which may bring more vitality to my life. When I risk somehow, that naturally brings along w it anxiety, but risk and anxiety comes together as companions so to speak, but risking means you are doing something vital, something important.I sense it is a different way

of looking at my anxiety, instead of trying to defeat it or overcome it, as something to do without, maybe i can see it as a condition of living, which involves some risk, which in turn signals i am moving along.Tom

January 25, 2012

Hi Tom - I think you are on the right track. You might look at risk a bit differently. Our brains are wired to alert us of real risk. If there is not any real risk, my mind likes to go looking for it, which is not usually helpful. Sometimes the risk my mind sees is real and should be dealt with. More often than not my mind presents stuff that is really not risky. To pay attention to it leads me down a rabbit hole. The first thing to do with the risk alert is to determine if paying attention to it will help you live a valued life. See "defusion" below."I have found that the trick is to accept my anxiety rather than struggle with it, which you have observed as well. In other words, let go of the rope attached to it. All six ACT processes help me do this as follows:Self as context/observing self/perspective taking - take a step back from the struggle and see it for what it is - a self-imposed struggle.Contact with the present - focus on what's happening right here, right now, rather than spending time on rehashing the past or worrying about the future.Defusion - recognize when your thoughts are not helpful to living a valued life by taking the edge off of the thoughts using ACT exercises such as "silly song," "milk, milk, milk," ...Acceptance/Expansion - make room for the anxiety as you would make room for an uninvited guest who shows up at your party. Look at the anxiety with curiosity rather than fear/dread/anger.Values - make sure you have your values clearly in mind and in some kind of priority so you can devote your time/energy/resources to taking your life in the direction of your values.Committed action - whenever you have a choice about how to spend your time/energy/resources choose something that takes you in the desired direction.How well I live a valued life is directly proportional to the choices I make moment by moment. I have not found a shortcut to the deliberateness of following the ACT model. It does become a habit the more I practice but there are always challenges. Some days I get really tired of having to do all the work. Some times I forget to do the work. Some times I simply fail to do the work. But it is my experience that once I start doing the work again the direction of my life is more desirable.Congratulations on your revelation. Thanks for your post.BillPS - I'm reading The Compassionate Mind by Gilbert. He talks about "old mind/brain" and "new mind/brain." The old mind is the one we inherited and which has been formed by living in "the flow of life." The new brain/mind" is the one that we must develop to offset the effect of the old brain/mind. My apologies to Gilbert if this is not quite correct. The book has lots of suggestions on how to develop the new brain/mind, especially in the area of self-compassion. As an anxious person, I am not very good at self-compassion. But the book is helping me with that.To: ACT_for_the_Public From: thc2000ca@...Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:26:00 +0000Subject: Anxiety as a Condition to...

I was facing or experiencing my anxiety again and again recently. It seems my anxiety just seems to keep surfacing, like waves on a beach, some waves bigger than others, but they do keep crashing in again and again.

Then I thought WHAT IF? What if my anxiety will never go away, it will never be cured, and in fact it will always be there, it just that maybe i can deal w it better as time goes by. But it will never be defeated or cured or overcomed. Its a condition of my history, maybe my upbringing.

And what if? Anxiety is a condition to be lived, and that anxiety signals risk, that when anxiety comes along, that may mean that i am risking myself some how, in a way which may bring more vitality to my life. When I risk somehow, that naturally brings along w it anxiety, but risk and anxiety comes together as companions so to speak, but risking means you are doing something vital, something important.

I sense it is a different way of looking at my anxiety, instead of trying to defeat it or overcome it, as something to do without, maybe i can see it as a condition of living, which involves some risk, which in turn signals i am moving along.

Tom

January 25, 2012

In my own case when fully accepting anxiety I begin not to notice it so

much after a while. When I stop saying to myself 'oh this is so bad, I

will never get better', I reduce the fear chemicals running around my

body. What if by fully accepting unpleasant feelings I start to become

somewhat indifferent to them? I am shy guy but I might talk to a pretty

woman who I have just met and accept my nervousness and the butterflies

running around my stomach. Once I am less bothered about this anxiety do

I have an anxiety problem anymore? One day I might think, hey! I don't

think that I have felt all that anxious for ages - but it doesn't matter

too much if I do again.

Kv

>

> I was facing or experiencing my anxiety again and again recently. It

seems my anxiety just seems to keep surfacing, like waves on a beach,

some waves bigger than others, but they do keep crashing in again and

again.

>

> Then I thought WHAT IF? What if my anxiety will never go away, it will

never be cured, and in fact it will always be there, it just that maybe

i can deal w it better as time goes by. But it will never be defeated or

cured or overcomed. Its a condition of my history, maybe my upbringing.

>

> And what if? Anxiety is a condition to be lived, and that anxiety

signals risk, that when anxiety comes along, that may mean that i am

risking myself some how, in a way which may bring more vitality to my

life. When I risk somehow, that naturally brings along w it anxiety, but

risk and anxiety comes together as companions so to speak, but risking

means you are doing something vital, something important.

>

> I sense it is a different way of looking at my anxiety, instead of

trying to defeat it or overcome it, as something to do without, maybe i

can see it as a condition of living, which involves some risk, which in

turn signals i am moving along.

>

> Tom

>

January 25, 2012

Thanks, Bill, for always getting back to the core processes. I really needed that reminder right now!

Helena

From: "Bill C" <wcameromsn>To: "ACT_for_the_Public" <act_for_the_public >Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 1:09:58 PMSubject: RE: Anxiety as a Condition to...

Hi Tom - I think you are on the right track. You might look at risk a bit differently. Our brains are wired to alert us of real risk. If there is not any real risk, my mind likes to go looking for it, which is not usually helpful. Sometimes the risk my mind sees is real and should be dealt with. More often than not my mind presents stuff that is really not risky. To pay attention to it leads me down a rabbit hole. The first thing to do with the risk alert is to determine if paying attention to it will help you live a valued life. See "defusion" below."

I have found that the trick is to accept my anxiety rather than struggle with it, which you have observed as well. In other words, let go of the rope attached to it. All six ACT processes help me do this as follows:

Self as context/observing self/perspective taking - take a step back from the struggle and see it for what it is - a self-imposed struggle.

Contact with the present - focus on what's happening right here, right now, rather than spending time on rehashing the past or worrying about the future.

Defusion - recognize when your thoughts are not helpful to living a valued life by taking the edge off of the thoughts using ACT exercises such as "silly song," "milk, milk, milk," ...

Acceptance/Expansion - make room for the anxiety as you would make room for an uninvited guest who shows up at your party. Look at the anxiety with curiosity rather than fear/dread/anger.

Values - make sure you have your values clearly in mind and in some kind of priority so you can devote your time/energy/resources to taking your life in the direction of your values.

Committed action - whenever you have a choice about how to spend your time/energy/resources choose something that takes you in the desired direction.

How well I live a valued life is directly proportional to the choices I make moment by moment. I have not found a shortcut to the deliberateness of following the ACT model. It does become a habit the more I practice but there are always challenges. Some days I get really tired of having to do all the work. Some times I forget to do the work. Some times I simply fail to do the work. But it is my experience that once I start doing the work again the direction of my life is more desirable.

Congratulations on your revelation. Thanks for your post.

Bill

PS - I'm reading The Compassionate Mind by Gilbert. He talks about "old mind/brain" and "new mind/brain." The old mind is the one we inherited and which has been formed by living in "the flow of life." The new brain/mind" is the one that we must develop to offset the effect of the old brain/mind. My apologies to Gilbert if this is not quite correct. The book has lots of suggestions on how to develop the new brain/mind, especially in the area of self-compassion. As an anxious person, I am not very good at self-compassion. But the book is helping me with that.

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: thc2000ca@...Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:26:00 +0000Subject: Anxiety as a Condition to...

I was facing or experiencing my anxiety again and again recently. It seems my anxiety just seems to keep surfacing, like waves on a beach, some waves bigger than others, but they do keep crashing in again and again.Then I thought WHAT IF? What if my anxiety will never go away, it will never be cured, and in fact it will always be there, it just that maybe i can deal w it better as time goes by. But it will never be defeated or cured or overcomed. Its a condition of my history, maybe my upbringing.And what if? Anxiety is a condition to be lived, and that anxiety signals risk, that when anxiety comes along, that may mean that i am risking myself some how, in a way which may bring more vitality to my life. When I risk somehow, that naturally brings along w it anxiety, but risk and anxiety comes together as companions so to speak, but risking means you are doing something vital, something important.I sense it is a different way of looking at my anxiety, instead of trying to defeat it or overcome it, as something to do without, maybe i can see it as a condition of living, which involves some risk, which in turn signals i am moving along.Tom

January 25, 2012

Glad to be helpful. It is so easy to lose track of the big picture. My ACT guitar makes much better music when I play all six strings.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: hbbr@...Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:47:07 +0000Subject: Re: Anxiety as a Condition to...