Worthless (was: Anxiety as a Condition to...)

[Guest guest]

I hear that a lot lately, and " worthless " is such a big, broad word that I often

have trouble understanding the context a person uses it within. Maybe it is a

milk thing–a word that has gotten too big for its britches?

I would not at all mind any input on this one from those who are comfortable

discussing it... I am post-surg from a spinal stenosis repair, so I am be

intermittent for a few days. and if I say anything really hilarious or stupid,

please blame the painkillers....

D

> What I would really like to defuse from is 'worthless'.

>

> A work in progress I guess.

>

> Lou

[Guest guest]

Permission granted to be hilarious or stupid! I don't need an excuse for that - but painkillers can be nice when you need them!

I love that you want to explore this word more: Worthless. Feeling worthless, believing that you have no value, that you don't matter to anyone, even to yourself. I've been there and still go there from time to time. For me, it started in early childhood, as it does for many of us, when my parents decided we kids were not worth keeping or taking care of, so they "gave us up" or "gave up on us." It's been a huge and scary and very long ride to get to the point where I honestly do not believe I am worthless now; in fact, I am very worthwhile, even though I don't always FEEL that way. I just KNOW I am. Until ACT came along, I didn't make much progress toward not feeling worthless. Then ACT taught me that I was OK exactly how I was, that even when I did bad things, I was not a bad person, that screwing up over and over is a fact of life, and that every one of us is in that same boat! And most of all, about all we can do about that sorry mess is to have some values and live by them; when you do that, you are VALUEable. And the fact that I was able to be helpful at times on this list went a long way to repair my self-image. And when I screw up royally on this list, and have done so often, I am forgiven and encouraged.

Last night I felt like a total loser. I called a friend and got into an argument with him because he insisted he was RIGHT and I was WRONG (we were discussing alternative healing; he is a true believer and I am a skeptic). Anyway, that's how quickly I lose my sense of self - how quickly I don't like myself - how easy it is for me to lose my bearings - all because someone did not agree with me and tried to put me down for that! It took me a couple of hours to come to terms with that and decide my point of view was just as important and valid as his, and he is a very, very smart man (albeit a bit of a 'know-it-all," not unlike myself at times). And I am going to research his suggestion; I do have an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Helena

From: "Darrell King" <DarrellGKinggmail>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2012 10:12:28 AMSubject: Worthless (was: Anxiety as a Condition to...)

I hear that a lot lately, and "worthless" is such a big, broad word that I often have trouble understanding the context a person uses it within. Maybe it is a milk thing–a word that has gotten too big for its britches?I would not at all mind any input on this one from those who are comfortable discussing it... I am post-surg from a spinal stenosis repair, so I am be intermittent for a few days. and if I say anything really hilarious or stupid, please blame the painkillers....DOn Jan 26, 2012, at 5:25 AM, L <experiential2012@....au> wrote:> What I would really like to defuse from is 'worthless'.> > A work in progress I guess.> > Lou