Guest guest Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Nice post ; you're absolutely right! To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012, 11:08Subject: Re: Learning hope.... I'd just like to rename this thread, Learning hope... You guys come up with really insightful advice. I'm appreciating the ACT list today. Thanks. Lou To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012 11:08 AMSubject: RE: Losing hope.... Hi Tara - I've had the same experience. When things are going well I don't need ACT and when things aren't going well I can't even remember much about the ACT processes, or I know what to do but can't seem to actually do it. You might find The Matrix helpful. Go to http://drkevinpolk.com/ The idea is to exercise your mind kind of like you exercise your body. It's called PFing - psychological flexibility training. It has brought some discipline to my ACT practice. I think it's important to be clear on what ACT will do and what ACT might not do. ACT will help you live a valued life. ACT will help you stop struggling with your anxiety. ACT probably won't make your anxiety go away but, by stopping the struggle with it, the symptoms might diminish. That's been true for me. Some days it's as bad as it's ever been, but not for as long. Many days it's there but in the background. ' post to you is the most important advice you will get. "This too shall pass." "Simple Pleasures" movie and his words. It's so easy to get tangled up in the messiness of life and miss the simple pleasures. As mentioned, "Notice Five Things" is an excellent exercise to use when your are in a funk. You can find it in The Happiness Trap in chapter 17, page 129 in my version. If you can remember to do that when things really suck, it will buy you some time to break your thought train. I add what I can taste and what I can smell to the exercise and I say the things I notice out loud if appropriate. That seems to heighten the value of the exercise for me. And it provides amusement to those near me! Since you have your values work done the next step is to set some goals and take committed action towards those goals - things that you can do and check off of a list. Don't be too ambitious. Rather start slowly and set yourself up for success. For me there is nothing quite like checking off stuff on my list when I am in a funk. I'm glad you are doing better today. Bill To: ACT_for_the_Public From: taraedgar@...Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:13:04 -0800Subject: Re: Losing hope.... Hi Bill, thank you for responding it means a lot to be able to actually say how I feel and be honest about those feelings. I think my main issue with ACT is that I practice the breathing exercises and the observing and diffusion and I feel as though I am understanding them and that I can do this. However, I generally do this when I am already in a good 'head space'. For the times that I really need to use the diffusion technique I find that my anxiety is such that I am unable to transfer the skill and my anxiety becomes worse. I find it is easy when I am calm but so difficult when I am in an anxious state. I recently took the time to think about my values and to complete the values exercise within the Happiness Trap, it is a step in the right direction. I know for sure that I am not living in accordance with my values. Thanks again Bill for your post, it means a lot. To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public > Sent: Friday, 27 January 2012, 0:58Subject: RE: Losing hope.... Hi Tara - Sorry you are not where you want to be. It's good that you posted. Maybe we can help. As many on this list will say it's easy to read the books and difficult to use the ACT processes. Will you tell us about what ACT things you are trying and how they are working? Will you describe what you hope to get from using ACT? Do you have a pretty clear picture of your values? Life is a roller coaster ride. ACT can help dampen the highs and lows, but it's still an amazing ride. Sometimes the best thing to do is just make the most of the ride rather than fear it. Bill To: ACT_for_the_Public From: taraedgar@...Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:17:03 +0000Subject: Losing hope.... I have struggled for years with my negative self talk, low self esteem, depression and more recently anxiety. I have read so many books and tried so hard to just 'be' and be happy. I remember how hopeful I felt when I was first introduced to CBT. It was groundbreaking and the testimonials from all of those people who were just like me but were now cured gave me so much hope. It didn't work for me and of course I beat myself up and cried that I was such a failure and couldn't get it to work. Then I discovered ACT and the Happiness Trap which told me I'm not a failure and that CBT does not work. I have been practicing ACT for some time and some days I really feel like I am getting somewhere and then I seem to fall and go right back to the beginning. I am so tired of this. How do you keep going and for how long? I am so afraid that nothing will ever really free me from my self imposed hell. Will I be here I'n a few years trying the next big thing because ACT doesn't work? I would really love to know where you get the strength to keep trying......I have wanted to post on here before but have been afraid to put my feelings out there. Please be kind! Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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