Guest guest Posted July 18, 2005 Report Share Posted July 18, 2005 I feel very lonely . Sometimes I wish I lived near one or more of you guys, so I'd have company that really knows what I'm going through. I can't chat because my computer gets very unstable, so I rely on emails. Tonyagrabar5 wrote: how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is different.jason __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Dear Tonya and , This is a potentially interesting discussion. I think it can lead to some self-understanding. I wonder how many others here are often lonely. Is it because of your situations now, or as said, is it something that existed prior to taking any drug(s)? Regards, > I feel very lonely . Sometimes I wish I lived near one or more of you > guys, so I'd have company that really knows what I'm going through. > I can't chat because my computer gets very unstable, so I rely on emails. > Tonya > > grabar5 wrote: > how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely > before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is > different. > > jason > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 For me the loneliness stems from people not having an understanding of what I went through or am going through. As a recovering alcoholic I attend AA and that is a great support network for that. However, I used to always broach the subject of these drugs at meetings and it only irritated people. I don't even bother now. Even pills anonymous has people who say they are clean and sober if they are off Vicodin or Xanax, but are currently taking a host of " benign and non-addictive " medications like antidepressants. Uggh. But on the loneliness part I am thankful I have a job that is people related. I have totally lost contact with my former friends. I mention the job because for me the worst parts are when I am alone at home and left to sit and stew over my predicament. Staying active really helps alleviate it for me. But that is just me. Nonetheless, I hear where you guys are coming from and strongly identify with it. God bless, Casey > > how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely > > before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is > > different. > > > > jason > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I am not at all lonely. Instead I feel that making conversation or dealing with other people's needs or making compromises is just way too much trouble. I have always been introverted, but since I started Zyprexa three years ago, the isolation got cemented. My only contact with others is email and going to work. I wonder if this will change when I am off drugs. I guess I can say this here where no one knows me. I have a phobia about bodily functions. So if I got married, and then someday the person gets old and ill or gets alzheimers, I would have to attend to their bodily functions. So I don't even date. I just don't want to ever have to take care of anyone. I don't have children. I am 43. My father has alzheimers. It is terrifying. Yes, my fears about what might happen 40 years from now run my life today. I worry a lot about getting old. At some point I won't be able to have cats in case I die and the cats starve before anyone finds me. I plan for all these contingencies. Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Casey, I am also in AA. I find many people these days in AA are on psych meds. But there is one woman who doesn't believe in them. She has been very supportive of me getting off meds. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 HI All, I never felt lonely before the drugs, I think I was just to busy though to feel? I felt very lonely in withdrawal, alone maybe rather than lonely. Sometimes I feel lonely , even though many friends are about because they simply havent a clue about what I have been through and how I feel about it all, on days like this I spend alot of time chatting to , he helps me so much. Guys, consider reading the books on spirituality Cath and kim suggested, I am sure they will help with the lonely feelings? If any of you are on msn messenger, you are welcome to add me to your contacts? I always thought it odd that I could feel lonely when I had like three of my closest friends over, but I think it is lonely from not having someone physically near that has been through what we have? Am I making sense??! Hmmm... I remember the lonely topic coming up some months ago to! Love > >Reply-To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery >To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery >Subject: Re: lonely >Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 02:05:58 -0400 > > Dear Tonya and , > > > This is a potentially interesting discussion. I think it can lead >to some self-understanding. I wonder how many others here are often >lonely. Is it because of your situations now, or as said, is it >something that existed prior to taking any drug(s)? > >Regards, > > > > > > > > I feel very lonely . Sometimes I wish I lived near one or more of >you > > guys, so I'd have company that really knows what I'm going through. > > I can't chat because my computer gets very unstable, so I rely on >emails. > > Tonya > > > > grabar5 wrote: > > how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely > > before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is > > different. > > > > jason > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 " For me the loneliness stems from people not having an understanding of what I went through or am going through. As a recovering alcoholic I attend AA and that is a great support network for that. However, I used to always broach the subject of these drugs at meetings and it only irritated people. I don't even bother now. " Couldnt agree with you more. Many people are just to frightened to hear the truth and would rather exist in total denial. Many still see their doctors as Gods, it is unhealthy. Besides, GOd would never ever have done what the doctors did. With Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 , YOu are right. Many are on psych meds. They have been sold a bill of goods that they are defective and therefore must have it corrected chemically. WHen you think about it psychotropic meds really run contrary to what AA is supposed to be about. Nonetheless, I don't bother to bring it up because I usually offend someone who believes they are bipolar or whatever. Once this guy got up and started whining about how his being bipolar forces him to drink. WHen I suggested there was no such thing as bipolar and that he didn't have to take the meds and there was an alternative I nearly got in a fight. THerefore, I'll take the fight to where people will listen and it will be productive. Be well, Casey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I was a shy and somewhat withdrawn kid, but the loneliness is much worse now. I don't socialize because of the dp/dr and the agoraphobia issues. I think I'd feel better, like Casey, if I could just work. I feel depressed about that and it's affected my self confidence. Tonya Creel wrote: Dear Tonya and , This is a potentially interesting discussion. I think it can leadto some self-understanding. I wonder how many others here are oftenlonely. Is it because of your situations now, or as said, is itsomething that existed prior to taking any drug(s)?Regards, __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I know my deepest level of loneliness has started since I began coming off my meds. Frustration is big too. I think my loneliness comes from people not understanding what its like going through withdrawals and the desire to be med free. People ask me how I'm doing and I hate that question. Going through withdrawals of course I feel crappy most of the time and yet I feel a strong conviction about coming off so I don't know how to answer that question anymore. I think I'm more lonely now to because I'm not so drugged up like a zombie anymore. I'm more aware of life going on around me, but not feeling quite up to par in joining in on that life because of the withdrawal symptoms. So I feel there is a barrier between enjoying life and feeling miserable. However, I know that this will go away in time and I will be able to do more once I'm over the withdrawals and off all these stupid meds. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels lonely. I don't well enough to do alot right now and yet I feeling enough that I no longer don't care, I do care and want to be active, but can't because of the withdrawals, this makes me feel lonely. Am I making any sense? wrote: HI All,I never felt lonely before the drugs, I think I was just to busy though to feel? I felt very lonely in withdrawal, alone maybe rather than lonely. Sometimes I feel lonely , even though many friends are about because they simply havent a clue about what I have been through and how I feel about it all, on days like this I spend alot of time chatting to , he helps me so much.Guys, consider reading the books on spirituality Cath and kim suggested, I am sure they will help with the lonely feelings?If any of you are on msn messenger, you are welcome to add me to your contacts?I always thought it odd that I could feel lonely when I had like three of my closest friends over, but I think it is lonely from not having someone physically near that has been through what we have?Am I making sense??!Hmmm... I remember the lonely topic coming up some months ago to!Love >>Reply-To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery >To: Withdrawal_and_Recovery >Subject: Re: lonely>Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 02:05:58 -0400>> Dear Tonya and ,>>> This is a potentially interesting discussion. I think it can lead>to some self-understanding. I wonder how many others here are often>lonely. Is it because of your situations now, or as said, is it>something that existed prior to taking any drug(s)?>>Regards,>>>>>>> > I feel very lonely . Sometimes I wish I lived near one or more of >you> > guys, so I'd have company that really knows what I'm going through.> > I can't chat because my computer gets very unstable, so I rely on >emails.> > Tonya> >> > grabar5 wrote:> > how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely> > before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is> > different.> >> > jason> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > __________________________________________________> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 karen, going through the withdrawl and it being so extreme my anxieties are much different. i started to not worry about things i couldnt control. the things i have obsessed about in the past would never happen now. jason > I am not at all lonely. Instead I feel that making conversation or dealing with other people's needs or making compromises is just way too much trouble. I have always been introverted, but since I started Zyprexa three years ago, the isolation got cemented. My only contact with others is email and going to work. I wonder if this will change when I am off drugs. > > I guess I can say this here where no one knows me. I have a phobia about bodily functions. So if I got married, and then someday the person gets old and ill or gets alzheimers, I would have to attend to their bodily functions. So I don't even date. I just don't want to ever have to take care of anyone. I don't have children. I am 43. My father has alzheimers. It is terrifying. > > Yes, my fears about what might happen 40 years from now run my life today. I worry a lot about getting old. At some point I won't be able to have cats in case I die and the cats starve before anyone finds me. I plan for all these contingencies. > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 my origninal post really relates to me now 2 and a half years after withdrawl. before drugs i was lonely sometimes, but i liked being alone too. during the worst parts of withdrawl-- the first two years. i was lonely, but i was in so much pain that it didnt bother me as much. as i was consumed by that. now, i still have a lot of symptoms from the drugs. but, im somewhat functional. and i realize that people arent like me now and are consumed by society, themselves-- just like we were. and i see all the dysfunction from them. i dont have anybody i can trust and feel comfortable around. but, i do realize for that to happen i have to take chances. i cant go back to worrying if everyone likes me and not making them uncomfortable. or else i will just end up with relationships that depends on my performance again. i also realize that this comes from my parents. their behavior towards you relates to your performance. i hope this furthers the discussion. jason > > > how many just feel lonely most of the time? ofcourse, i felt lonely > > > before drugs. but, this is different. being able to relate is > > > different. > > > > > > jason > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 " I guess I can say this here where no one knows me. I have a phobia about bodily functions. So if I got married, and then someday the person gets old and ill or gets alzheimers, I would have to attend to their bodily functions. So I don't even date. I just don't want to ever have to take care of anyone. I don't have children. I am 43. My father has alzheimers. It is terrifying. " , I dont think you have to live like this, I am certain and Kim can help you with this. I dont like illness and that either, makes me feel ill to see people really poorly. Sounds like you have been feeling like this a long time? Maybe now it is time to try and sort this out, you deserve a life, a good one, you have been through so much, there is so much love out there. I really feel for you. Would you be prepared to see if there is something you can work out to help you out on this? I dont know what Cath would suggest and you have probably already tried cognitive behavioural therapy, but something triggered these feelings........wanna see if we can all try and help you a bit on this? Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Hi , that is good to know. Thanks. grabar5 wrote: karen,going through the withdrawl and it being so extreme my anxieties are much different. i started to not worry about things i couldnt control. the things i have obsessed about in the past would never happen now. jason Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I ditto with shelley. I would like to support and encourage you in anyway I could. sjerrom wrote: "I guess I can say this here where no one knows me. I have a phobia about bodily functions. So if I got married, and then someday the person gets old and ill or gets alzheimers, I would have to attend to their bodily functions. So I don't even date. I just don't want to ever have to take care of anyone. I don't have children. I am 43. My father has alzheimers. It is terrifying.", I dont think you have to live like this, I am certain and Kim can help you with this. I dont like illness and that either, makes me feel ill to see people really poorly. Sounds like you have been feeling like this a long time?Maybe now it is time to try and sort this out, you deserve a life, a good one, you have been through so much, there is so much love out there.I really feel for you.Would you be prepared to see if there is something you can work out to help you out on this?I dont know what Cath would suggest and you have probably already tried cognitive behavioural therapy, but something triggered these feelings........wanna see if we can all try and help you a bit on this?Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Hi , You are so very sweet. I really appreciate your kind and loving responses to me and everyone on the list. I've had a bodily function and vomit phobia since I was a very young child. At least as far back as five years old. I've talked to shrinks about it and they say it is all about my control issues. For most of my life, I felt I needed people and would somehow push past my issues. But the past few years I have become very independent and self-sufficient. It has led me to organize my life to avoid things that trigger my fears. I know this sounds crazy, but I like the isolation. I am comfortable for the first time in my life. I just don't know if I can face facing my fears. Another thing that separates me from others is my noise sensitivity. I can't handle the radio or TV playing. All the men I've ever known want either TV or music playing all the time. I'm sorry I sound like such a mess and a freak, but I am actually pretty happy most of the time. Your concern means a lot! __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Thanks , I know you are going through a lot right now yourself, and your support means a lot. I never considered that my phobias were nutritional depletion. That gives me hope for the first time. By the way the progress you described over the past year is fantastic. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Heh I dont think you are a freak at all! Maybe try some white chestnut like Cath said, I am going to try it to. told me to take some when I was in withdrawal but never told me why...........now the secrets out!!! Lots of Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 21, 2011 Report Share Posted November 21, 2011 I got the book by White, Lonely: A Memoir. It's kind of long - like 350 pages. But I went ahead and started it. One of my values is connection. I think loneliness is lack of connection. So I think I may get some insights into connection from this book. Cheers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I will have to look at that book so. I really enjoyed the link to the podcast. Isolation for em at as a child was a survival method and then now when trust has been broken too many times. It made sence to me that I needed the connection of a mate to feel confident enough to participate in the world. Today, I am learning to need only me but not happy about it. Still, I am doing it and learning a great deal. > > I got the book by White, Lonely: A Memoir. It's kind of long - like > 350 pages. But I went ahead and started it. One of my values is > connection. I think loneliness is lack of connection. So I think I may > get some insights into connection from this book. > > Cheers, > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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