feel stressful and quitting

[Guest guest]

I just quitting a test that may helps to advance my career, I know if I

absolutely try my best in the following weekend, I'd likely to pass the test

with good mark.

I Feel a bit down after quitting. That is CERTAINLY NOT consisted with my

values. But I surrender to the stress I feel. but I remember it is like falling

from horse, as long as I get back....

can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time...

need a few lines support.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jess,

I did the same thing once when I was in college. I dropped a course I was making an A in because the stress of too many courses was overwhelming, and I was not satisfied to study less and get a lower grade. I took the course the next semester and it worked out great.

I understand that we sometimes make choices that appear to be inconsistent with our values. But upon closer inspection, it may be that some of our values are in competition, so to speak, and one of them wins out in the short term. It seems to me that your value of being kind to yourself, taking care of yourself, and managing the stress in your life took priority over your value of continuing your education toward career advancement - for now. You can always take that test again in the future, but you were wise to not put off taking care of yourself in the moment, in my opinion. Nice going!

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 12:42:15 AMSubject: feel stressful and quitting

I just quitting a test that may helps to advance my career, I know if I absolutely try my best in the following weekend, I'd likely to pass the test with good mark. I Feel a bit down after quitting. That is CERTAINLY NOT consisted with my values. But I surrender to the stress I feel. but I remember it is like falling from horse, as long as I get back....can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time...need a few lines support.

[Guest guest]

Hi

Definitely this is a time to be kind to yourself ... and you are practicing self compassion when you think " can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time... " !

I think the mind is very good at creating stress in us. Especially when the result of our efforts seem really important, like passing a test.

What is happening in your mind & body when you get stressed? May be you could work with the feelings, thoughts & sensations by being mindful of them before your next test?

Maybe all it takes is to say: I will try my best Full Stop. (I find this is not easy. My mind keeps adding all sorts of unhappy & unhelpful endings to that sentence.)

Anyway, I've read some of your posts & think you are practicing ACT. To me, that's the hardest thing- just practicing. No expectations.

All the best,

Vanjessica y wrote:

I just quitting a test that may helps to advance my career, I know if I absolutely try my best in the following weekend, I'd likely to pass the test with good mark.

I Feel a bit down after quitting. That is CERTAINLY NOT consisted with my values. But I surrender to the stress I feel. but I remember it is like falling from horse, as long as I get back....

can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time...

need a few lines support.

[Guest guest]

Apropos of nothing in particular, I have always liked the phrase, "Rhino through". It can be applied to many contexts, including yours, I think.In my personal life, it's what I do when I say, to myself, "Fuck it, they'll either buy it (me) or they won't", so I'll just go ahead and do it anyway.Not sure how this fits in with ACT, but I don't really care.Regards,Detlef>> I just quitting a test that may helps to advance my career, I know if I absolutely try my best in the following weekend, I'd likely to pass the test with good mark. > > I Feel a bit down after quitting. That is CERTAINLY NOT consisted with my values. But I surrender to the stress I feel. but I remember it is like falling from horse, as long as I get back....> can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time...> > need a few lines support.>

[Guest guest]

well, hope part of your values includes standing with yourself kindly with all

the choices you make. These are difficult choices for me too, coming up against

some really tough stuff. There is no guide on this stuff. What I do know (thanks

to ACT) is this life of ours is not about being a good girl or doing it right or

beating ourselves up over choices we make. It's about choices we make in the

moment based on increasing honesty, willingness, accepting history, noticing

intention and circumstance. There is no right or wrong choice. Sometimes no is

all I've got in a given moment. Will you let your choice to say no this weekend

be okay without trying to make more of it (I was right to do that, I did it

because x, y, z., Boy I blew it, I'm a loser)? If you notice that mindy

conversation, time to now back up and make room for that judgment too. If you

notice there was a piece in there you were being dishonest about, take note and

forgive yourself. Breathe. Here we are. A day full of choices in front of us.Now

what kind things will you do for yourself today, in this moment? What is the

next right thing to do for yourself and others?

With you on the journey,

Terry

>

> I just quitting a test that may helps to advance my career, I know if I

absolutely try my best in the following weekend, I'd likely to pass the test

with good mark.

>

> I Feel a bit down after quitting. That is CERTAINLY NOT consisted with my

values. But I surrender to the stress I feel. but I remember it is like falling

from horse, as long as I get back....

> can not expect myself to be perfect and consisted with my value every time...

>

> need a few lines support.

>

[Guest guest]

as lame as this may sound, I refer to questions, doubts, regrets I may have with

the reasonong ' i did the best I could with the information I had at the time.'

and if that includes having decided to discontinue the testing process-- and you

felt it served your best interests. of course I think you made the correct

decision.

yet another old lame thing. hindsight is always 20/20. oh I should have, etc.

I can promise you that testing thing was NOT the last opportunity that will come

your way, life has many more to offer.

if it is still possible to take the test, perhaps you can consider this pt of

view...'what is the worst that can happen if I take this test?' the worst that

could happen is that you wouldn't be successful, this time, with the test. Since

you know that you have the skills and are capable of doing well on the test, you

will find out, that in this particular brief segment of time, your test taking

skills are at a temporary low. not that you are incapable---