Re: Re: Urge surfing alcohol

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Hi ,I wish you all the best too. The problem is, I've been where you're standing and fear that that sentiments like "My movement forward looks past this type of behaviour." and "drinking is not the real problem" suggest you don't know, or don't want to know what you are up against here. If the drinking is as self-destructive as all that it's best to know that on a deep level rather than kid yourself that you can sort it out with a noble-sounding self-improvement plan or minor lifestyle tweak. Here's a fun fact: most drinkers, the vast majority in fact, don't give any thought to their body mass index / alcohol consumption ratio and they certainly never feel compelled to count drinks. They don't have to. Unlike us they don't feel a compulsion to keep drinking past the point where the bad stuff starts happening. That's why I suggested you try some "normal" drinking (1-2 small ones, once or twice a week) on for size. It's helps you find out what sort of drinker you really are, the kind who can eventually do it normally or the sort who can't and needs to stop. If you are one of the "needs to stop" type of drinkers, you'll also need all the support you can get-- more than this list can provide, but you won't know that until you know it.Best,Jim Hi Jim, You asked me, "Why should drinking have to lead to a risky blackout?" Well mate this seems to be part of the dysfunction. Like I said, I really haven't been drinking alcohol for very long and initially I made mistakes, like not accounting for the time it takes to metabolise. My therapist helped me a lot and I'll usually do the numbers now however, there are just those self-destructive moments when I don't think I'm worthy for this world that I tend to get a bit dangerous to myself. I know I'm not alone, I know there are many people who do this. My movement forward looks past this type of behaviour. I'm slow Jim, I do wish I could learn faster. It is what it is I guess. Everyday is different for me. Thanks for chiming in with me, its been a hard week this one...no, I managed it and stayed relatively level, it was the 2 weeks before that was more challenging to do my ACT practice. Thank you Jim, I wish you all the best, Lou To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 1 February 2012 7:43 AM Subject: Re: Re: Urge surfing alcohol Hi ,Thanks for your reply. I'm a bit confused on one point and hope you can clarify for me: Why should drinking have to lead to a risky blackout? That's a pretty rare occurrence among the general drinking population. My 92 year old Mom has been drinking for almost seven decades and has never come close to a blackout. Does moderation (2-3 small drinks, once or twice a week) not work for you?Thanks,Jim You're right Jim, I'm not urge surfing alcohol, I'm surfing 'unhealthy risk taking' in the form of an alcohol black out. Actually, I could just leave that at unhealthy risk taking, it comes in many forms. I was told at work today how "inefficient I am and that I'm incompetent". I guess I've been busted. *Sigh* Surfs up :-( I think about how told us of his brother and how he kept going (it's hard to imagine something more difficult to face/sit with). He said something like...'turns out I can still write to the list, teach, do therapy and yoga even when I'm crying'. I think of that a lot so I'm choosing my group over the avoidance tonight. Cheers mate, To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 31 January 2012 9:25 AM Subject: Re: Re: Urge surfing alcohol ,Why urge surf something that isn't a problem? I know lots of normal drinkers and they never seem to have trouble putting down the occasional beer or wine if, say, they get prescribed a medication they can't drink on. They might experience an occasional mild hankering for alcohol but nothing that would require massive amounts of willpower or advanced techniques like urge surfing. That's the way it is with most people. Really. If alcohol isn't a problem for you, you should have no difficulty doing the same.Jim No I don't drink socially. I was in error on my last email. I have over 10 years of continuous sobriety. It will be 11 years in March. No I don't and didn't use other substances. I view my drinking as an allergy. I don't literally breakout. I react to alcohol differently than allergic types of drink.I'm glad you are taking or yourself and not overloading yourself with reading. If you change your mind let me know. BeverlyConnected by DROID on Verizon Wireless Urge surfing alcohol > > I've been off alcohol for almost a month now (other than one drunk night) > but today the urge is stretching my resolve. Someone I work with hit me in > the face and I cried again. Damn man, that's twice in two weeks. I know > everything reflects on performance and I'm sure the other workers don't do > it. *Sigh*. I think of `cleansing tears' but they are not all cleansing, > then I go back to the quote Russ posted once... > > "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of > power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are > messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." By Washington > Irvine. > > I guess that makes me pretty powerful, right? So now I sit surfing the urge > to want to black out and lose living for a night. I didn't even start > drinking alcohol till I was 41yrs old, I don't like the sensory numbness it > produces. So the strategy is as usual, keep busy, behavioural activation, > committed action, make a list etc. etc. *Sigh again*. It just feels like the > same old treadmill and I'm still not going anywhere. I know I need to > practice more patience, will power and persistence. > > What am I leaving out today? > > Lou ;-) > Jim Designer | Developerhttp://www.jryanportfolio.com