Some Light Hearted Fun

February 3, 2012

This is one of the funniest adverts I have seen:

BANNED Adam and Eve, the gay version

My apologies for being off topic, just couldn't resist it.

Kv

February 3, 2012

In the book the confidence trap, its speaks of acting confident even though say you feel anxious e.t.c so confidence comes first even though you dont feel

then it ,the confidence will follow, but how does that fit with being authentic, as is spoken in some act books, is that not being unauthentic pretending to feel different to what you truely feel, on one level l get it ,but then on another l dont. Isnt it similiar to fake it till you make it ,which is discouraged in some act books. Vi

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

February 4, 2012

Hi,

I haven't read the book, but strongly suspect Russ is talking about a

playful stretch to see what happens and just to notice that confidence may not

necessarily be about what our minds say it is, including the sometimes mistaken

belief that we need to feel a certain way before we act a certain way. " Fake it

till you make it " can be a tricky thing like so many other suggestions inside

and outside ACT circles if the other processes aren't called into play some.

Pretending to be confident when you have the thought you are a loser can easily

boomerang if you don't also accept, defuse, hold lightly with " loser " screaming

at you along the way. Or if you're looking for escape of some sort,

relief..maybe going for a new improved version of you that will garnish more

approval and so forth. Versus just for fun, to do some new contrary behavior

before waiting to have all your ducks (feelings, thoughts, sensations) in

order.. and just be willing to see what might show up there..a bit like the

title of this thread you chose to post your question under.

Have you tried the exercise, BTW?

kind regards,

terry

>

> In the book the confidence trap, its speaks of acting confident even though

say you feel anxious e.t.c so confidence comes first even though you dont feel

> then it ,the confidence will follow, but how does that fit with being

authentic, as is spoken in some act books, is that not being unauthentic

pretending to feel different to what you truely feel, on one level l get it

,but then on another l dont. Isnt it similiar to fake it till you make it ,which

is discouraged in some act books. Vi

>

> Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

>

February 5, 2012

Last one for a while because I am problably becoming a bit of a nuisance now. I love this one:

>> In the book the confidence trap, its speaks of acting confident even though say you feel anxious e.t.c so confidence comes first even though you dont feel> then it ,the confidence will follow, but how does that fit with being authentic, as is spoken in some act books, is that not being unauthentic pretending to feel different to what you truely feel, on one level l get it ,but then on another l dont. Isnt it similiar to fake it till you make it ,which is discouraged in some act books. Vi> > > > > > > Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android>

February 5, 2012

I read in ACT books about being authentic and how we often hide our

feelings and therefore lose contact with our true selves. I think of my

own 'smiling depression' for one as I'm always having an enormous amount

of fun like those terribly sad circus clowns. Years ago when I was

taking antidepressants I kept constantly going into mania because of it

but fortunatley that ended when I stopped the drugs.

I can relate to faking it, though. My manager as asked me to become an

assistant manager which is a very difficult job -there's nothing

assistant about it and I will be truely the boss in charge of about 60

people everday and hardly ever see the manager. I said yes and now I am

bricking it. All my staff will be mechanical egineers and I know nothing

about that because I have no interest in engineering anymore - I like

my social life nowadays and playing my guitar and keyboards. I'm an

absolute pacifist and a vegan (ex quaker but about to rejoin) who won't

eat anything with suger or vegetable oil in as that stuff destroys your

ateries, so I don't fit in very well with my tough working class

collegues - I certainly won't be going down the cafe everyday with

them.

Things could not be more painful at the moment with my chronic tension

and adrenal exhaustion but what the hell, I might as well plonk myself

in te boss's seat and suffer terribly as usual. But I only doing it

because I am the only electrical engineer they employ and the job has

become absolute hell, so I'm looking for an easier life, not a career.

I'm hoping being a manager will make life more bearable, plus I might be

able to afford to retire in 6 to 8 years as the pay is vety good in this

position (but I'm a chronic worrier unable to make decisions about

anything much in my own life). Oh well, more suffering then, but what's

new.

But I will problaby back out the last minute knowing me.

Kv

> >

> > In the book the confidence trap, its speaks of acting confident even

> though say you feel anxious e.t.c so confidence comes first even

though

> you dont feel

> > then it ,the confidence will follow, but how does that fit with

being

> authentic, as is spoken in some act books, is that not being

unauthentic

> pretending to feel different to what you truely feel, on one level l

> get it ,but then on another l dont. Isnt it similiar to fake it till

you

> make it ,which is discouraged in some act books. Vi

> >

> > Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

> >

>

February 5, 2012

All my collegues are seriously into football, sports, and big German

cars where everything is about status. I cycle everywhere and

occasionally drive my small supermi(playing my very wacky non commercial

music quite loud - lots of Bellbury Poly and the F*** Buttons at the

moment). I read a broadsheet and books on economics, politics,

Quakeriism, and Buddhism. So I don't fit in very well with my collegues

and I am problably closer to Adam in that commercial that I posted (I

hope you all liked it as much as I did) , but I am not effeminate in

anyway and my girlfriend say's that I am very masculine looking guy.

It's weird because she say's I look quite hard. My Dad was a really

tough guy.

I apologise for this over indulgence about myself but my stress levels

are through the roof at the moment so I am sort of losing it, I think.

I have worked so hard for years and years for my recovery and now I am

almost dead because of all this constant effort but I still think I am

in for a chance.

Kv

> > >

> > > In the book the confidence trap, its speaks of acting confident

even

> > though say you feel anxious e.t.c so confidence comes first even

> though

> > you dont feel

> > > then it ,the confidence will follow, but how does that fit with

> being

> > authentic, as is spoken in some act books, is that not being

> unauthentic

> > pretending to feel different to what you truely feel, on one level l

> > get it ,but then on another l dont. Isnt it similiar to fake it till

> you

> > make it ,which is discouraged in some act books. Vi

> > >

> > > Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

> > >

> >

>

February 5, 2012

Hi Kaivey. First, it sounds like you are going to be in charge of a team of cliches. I think you are assuming an awful lot about who these people truly are underneath. Second, forget the fact that it is you doing this job, for this question. If you had been asked a while back "what would make an OK assistant manager?", what things would you have listed? You know what I am doing, don't you. Where in that list are: * Must love football* Must love German cars* Must love meat and breakfast in greasy cafes* Must read tabloid

newspapers* Must be tough and working class.* Must be accepted and liked by all 60 staff Can I also ask - have you ever had a manager who you did not fit in with? I have. I think I am one! I manage 3 staff, and I have the complete and total opposite values to all of them: they are all feminists and socialists (I am a right-winger with somewhat traditional family values), they like reading thoughtful books (I love Lee Child and trashy thrillers); they are all vehemently atheist (I am Christian); two of them love classical music, the other is into jazz (I'm not sure I like music that much); they can't stand sports (I love cricket and football, and golf, and rugby...); they like rocket and wild mushrooms (I like steak and..., well, more

steak). I really, really like my staff, and we have a good laugh about how different we are. It also makes no difference to the job we have to do. You and I are different too - who cares? Vive la difference! Third, I learnt over the last few months that when you are standing at the very edge of your comfort zone and peer out into the unknown, that is when you should trust your mind least. It is absolutely desperate for you to retreat, and will feed your consciousness anything and everything it can to pull you back. This stuff about "they won't accept me" sounds like a sack of crap to me. (But then I believed a few weeks back that the whole world was against me) , a fellow worrier x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, 5 February 2012, 19:45 Subject: Re: Some Light Hearted Fun